reverie, in which I almost wished myself
overboard, a sudden glow of
patriotism was kindled within me, and presented my king and country as
my
patron. 'Well then,' I exclaimed, 'I will be a hero! and, confiding
in Providence, I will brave every danger!'"
Long afterwards Nelson loved to speak of the feelings of that moment;
and from that time, he often said, a
radiant orb was suspended in his
mind's eye, which urged him
onward to
renown. The state of mind in which
these feelings began, is what the mystics mean by their season of
darkness and
desertion. If the animal spirits fail, they represent it as
an
actualtemptation. The
enthusiasm of Nelson's nature had taken a
different direction, but its
essence was the same. He knew to what the
previous state of dejection was to be attributed; that an enfeebled
body, and a mind
depressed, had cast this shade over his soul; but he
always seemed
willing to believe that the
sunshine which succeeded bore
with it a
prophetic glory, and that the light which led him on was
"light from heaven."
His interest, however, was far better than he imagined, During his
absence, Captain Suckling had been made Comptroller of the Navy; his
health had
materially improved upon the
voyage; and as soon as the
DOLPHIN was paid off, he was appointed
actinglieutenant in the
WORCESTER, sixty-four, Captain Mark Robinson, then going out with convoy
to Gibraltar. Soon after his return, on the 8th of April 1777, he passed
his
examination for a lieutenancy. Captain Suckling sat at the head of
the board; and when the
examination had ended, in a manner highly
honourable to Nelson, rose from his seat, and introduced him to the
examining captains as his
nephew. They expressed their wonder that he
had not informed them of this
relationship before; he replied that he
did not wish the younker to be
favoured; he knew his
nephew would pass a
good
examination, and he had not been deceived. The next day Nelson
received his
commission as second
lieutenant of the LOWESTOFFE
frigate,
Captain William Locker, then
fitting out for Jamaica.
American and French privateers, under American colours, were at that
time harassing our trade in the West Indies: even a
frigate was not
sufficiently active for Nelson, and he
repeatedly got appointed to the
command of one of the LOWESTOFFE's tenders. During one of their cruises
the LOWESTOFFE captured an American letter-of-marque: it was blowing a
gale, and a heavy sea
running. The first
lieutenant being ordered to
board the prize, went below to put on his hanger. It happened to be
mislaid; and while he was seeking it, Captain Locker came on deck.
Perceiving the boat still
alongside, and in danger every moment of being
swamped, and being
extremelyanxious that the privateer should be
instantly taken in
charge, because he feared that It would otherwise
founder, he exclaimed, "Have I no officer in the ship who can board the
prize?" Nelson did not offer himself immediately,
waiting, with his
usual sense of
propriety, for the first
lieutenant's return; but hearing
the master
volunteer, he jumped into the boat,
saying, "It is my turn
now; and if I come back, it is yours." The American, who had carried a
heavy press of sail in hope of escaping, was so completely water-logged
that the LOWESTOFFE's boat went in on deck and out again with the sea
About this time he lost his uncle. Captain Locker, however, who had
perceived the excellent qualities of Nelson, and formed a friendship for
him which continued during his life, recommended him warmly to Sir Peter
Parker, then
commander-in-chief upon that station. In
consequence of
this
recommendation he was removed into the BRISTOL flag-ship, and Lieu-
tenant Cuthbert Collingwood succeeded him in the LOWESTOFFE. Sir Peter
Parker was the friend of both, and thus it happened that
whenever Nelson
got a step in rank, Collingwood succeeded him. The former soon became
first
lieutenant, and on the 8th of December 1778 was appointed
commander of the BADGER brig; Collingwood
taking his place in the
BRISTOL. While the BADGER was lying in Montego Bay, Jamaica, the GLASGOW
of twenty guns came in and anchored there, and in two hours was in