She found herself like a
feather in his grasp,
helpless,
unable to
struggle, with her feet off the ground. But this
contact with her,
maddening like too much
felicity, destroyed its own end. Fire ran
through his veins, turned his
passion to ashes, burnt him out and
left him empty, without force - almost without desire. He let her
go before she could cry out. And she was so used to the forms of
repression enveloping,
softening the crude
impulses of old
humanitythat she no longer believed in their
existence as if it were an
exploded legend. She did not recognise what had happened to her.
She came safe out of his arms, without a struggle, not even having
felt afraid.
"What's the meaning of this?" she said, outraged but calm in a
scornful way.
He got down on his knees in silence, bent low to her very feet,
while she looked down at him, a little surprised, without
animosity, as if merely curious to see what he would do. Then,
while he remained bowed to the ground pressing the hem of her skirt
to his lips, she made a slight
movement. He got up.
"No," he said. "Were you ever so much mine what could I do with
you without your consent? No. You don't
conquer a wraith, cold
mist, stuff of dreams,
illusion. It must come to you and cling to
your breast. And then! Oh! And then!"
All
ecstasy, all expression went out of his face.
"Mr. Renouard," she said, "though you can have no claim on my
consideration after having decoyed me here for the vile purpose,
apparently, of gloating over me as your possible prey, I will tell
you that I am not perhaps the
extraordinary being you think I am.
You may believe me. Here I stand for truth itself."
"What's that to me what you are?" he answered. "At a sign from you
I would climb up to the seventh heaven to bring you down to earth
for my own - and if I saw you steeped to the lips in vice, in
crime, in mud, I would go after you, take you to my arms - wear you
for an
incomparable jewel on my breast. And that's love - true
love - the gift and the curse of the gods. There is no other."
The truth vibrating in his voice made her
recoilslightly, for she
was not fit to hear it - not even a little - not even one single
time in her life. It was revolting to her; and in her trouble,
perhaps prompted by the
suggestion of his name or to
soften the
harshness of expression, for she was obscurely moved, she spoke to
him in French.
"ASSEZ! J'AI HORREUR DE TOUT CELA," she said.
He was white to his very lips, but he was trembling no more. The
dice had been cast, and not even
violence could alter the throw.
She passed by him unbendingly, and he followed her down the path.
After a time she heard him saying:
"And your dream is to influence a human
destiny?"
"Yes!" she answered curtly, unabashed, with a woman's complete
assurance.
"Then you may rest content. You have done it."
She shrugged her shoulders
slightly. But just before reaching the
end of the path she relented, stopped, and went back to him.
"I don't suppose you are very
anxious for people to know how near
you came to
absolute turpitude. You may rest easy on that point.
I shall speak to my father, of course, and we will agree to say
that he has died - nothing more."
"Yes," said Renouard in a
lifeless voice. "He is dead. His very
ghost shall be done with presently."
She went on, but he remained
standing stock still in the dusk. She
had already reached the three palms when she heard behind her a
loud peal of
laughter,
cynical and joyless, such as is heard in
smoking-rooms at the end of a scandalous story. It made her feel
positively faint for a moment.
CHAPTER XI
Slowly a complete darkness enveloped Geoffrey Renouard. His
resolution had failed him. Instead of following Felicia into the
house, he had stopped under the three palms, and leaning against a
smooth trunk had
abandoned himself to a sense of an immense
deception and the feeling of
extremefatigue. This walk up the
hill and down again was like the
supreme effort of an explorer
trying to
penetrate the
interior of an unknown country, the secret
of which is too well defended by its cruel and
barren nature.