a
definite rule! He was afraid of
missing some recondite
principle in the
overwhelmingwealth of his material.
What could it be? and for half an hour he would remain
dead still, bent low over the desk, without twitching a
muscle. At his back the whole berth would be thick
with a heavy body of smoke, as if a bomb had burst
in there, unnoticed, unheard.
At last he would lock up the desk with the decision of
unshaken confidence, jump and go out. He would
walk
swiftly back and forth on that part of the foredeck
which was kept clear of the
lumber and of the bodies of
the native passengers. They were a great
nuisance, but
they were also a source of profit that could not be dis-
dained. He needed every penny of profit the Sofala
could make. Little enough it was, in all conscience!
The incertitude of chance gave him no concern, since
he had somehow arrived at the
conviction that, in the
course of years, every number was bound to have his
winning turn. It was simply a matter of time and of
taking as many tickets as he could afford for every
drawing. He generally took rather more; all the earn-
ings of the ship went that way, and also the wages he
allowed himself as chief engineer. It was the wages he
paid to others that he begrudged with a reasoned and
at the same time a
passionate regret. He scowled at
the lascars with their deck brooms, at the quarter-
masters rubbing the brass rails with
greasy rags; he
was eager to shake his fist and roar abuse in bad Malay
at the poor carpenter--a timid,
sickly, opium-fuddled
Chinaman, in loose blue drawers for all
costume, who
invariably dropped his tools and fled below, with
stream-
ing tail and shaking all over, before the fury of that
"devil." But it was when he raised up his eyes to the
bridge where one of these sailor frauds was always
planted by law in
charge of his ship that he felt almost
dizzy with rage. He abominated them all; it was an
old feud, from the time he first went to sea, an un-
licked cub with a great opinion of himself, in the
engine-room. The slights that had been put upon him.
The persecutions he had suffered at the hands of skip-
pers--of
absolute nobodies in a
steamship after all.
And now that he had risen to be a shipowner they were
still a
plague to him: he had
absolutely to pay away
precious money to the
conceiteduseless loafers:--As if
a fully qualified engineer--who was the owner as well--
were not fit to be trusted with the whole
charge of a
ship. Well! he made it pretty warm for them; but it
was a poor
consolation. He had come in time to hate
the ship too for the repairs she required, for the coal-
bills he had to pay, for the poor beggarly freights she
earned. He would
clench his hand as he walked and hit
the rail a sudden blow, viciously, as though she could
be made to feel pain. And yet he could not do without
er; he needed her; he must hang on to her tooth and
nail to keep his head above water till the expected flood
of fortune came
sweeping up and landed him
safely on
the high shore of his ambition.
It was now to do nothing, nothing
whatever, and have
plenty of money to do it on. He had tasted of power,
the highest form of it his
limited experience was aware
of--the power of shipowning. What a deception!
Vanity of vanities! He wondered at his folly. He had
thrown away the substance for the shadow. Of the
gratification of
wealth he did not know enough to excite
his
imagination with any visions of
luxury. How could
he--the child of a
drunken boiler-maker--going
straight from the
workshop into the engine-room of a
north-country collier! But the notion of the
absoluteidleness of
wealth he could very well
conceive. He
reveled in it, to forget his present troubles; he imagined
himself walking about the streets of Hull (he knew their
gutters well as a boy) with his pockets full of sov-
ereigns. He would buy himself a house; his married
sisters, their husbands, his old
workshop chums, would
render him
infinitehomage. There would be nothing