"I am a lost man."



He shook his hand above his head in a gesturecareless and

tragic, then walked down into the mist that closed above him in



shining undulations under the first breath of the morning breeze.

CHAPTER FOUR



Willems moved languidly towards the river, then retraced his

steps to the tree and let himself fall on the seat under its



shade. On the other side of the immense trunk he could hear the

old woman moving about, sighing loudly, muttering to herself,



snapping dry sticks, blowing up the fire. After a while a whiff

of smoke drifted round to where he sat. It made him feel hungry,



and that feeling was like a new indignity added to an intolerable

load of humiliations. He felt inclined to cry. He felt very



weak. He held up his arm before his eyes and watched for a

little while the trembling of the lean limb. Skin and bone, by



God! How thin he was! . . . He had suffered from fever a good

deal, and now he thought with tearful dismay that Lingard,



although he had sent him food--and what food, great Lord: a

little rice and dried fish; quite unfit for a white man--had not



sent him any medicine. Did the old savage think that he was like

the wild beasts that are never ill? He wanted quinine.



He leaned the back of his head against the tree and closed his

eyes. He thought feebly that if he could get hold of Lingard he



would like to flay him alive; but it was only a blurred, a short

and a passing thought. His imagination, exhausted by the repeated



delineations of his own fate, had not enough strength left to

grip the idea of revenge. He was not indignant and rebellious.



He was cowed. He was cowed by the immense cataclysm of his

disaster. Like most men, he had carried solemnly within his



breast the whole universe, and the approaching end of all things

in the destruction of his own personality filled him with



paralyzing awe. Everything was toppling over. He blinked his

eyes quickly, and it seemed to him that the very sunshine of the



morning disclosed in its brightness a suggestion of some hidden

and sinister meaning. In his unreasoning fear he tried to hide



within himself. He drew his feet up, his head sank between his

shoulders, his arms hugged his sides. Under the high and



enormous tree soaring superbly out of the mist in a vigorous

spread of lofty boughs, with a restless and eager flutter of its



innumerable leaves in the clear sunshine, he remained motionless,

huddled up on his seat: terrified and still.



Willems' gaze roamed over the ground, and then he watched with

idiotic fixity half a dozen black ants entering courageously a



tuft of long grass which, to them, must have appeared a dark and

a dangerous jungle. Suddenly he thought: There must be something



dead in there. Some dead insect. Death everywhere! He closed

his eyes again in an access of trembling pain. Death



everywhere--wherever one looks. He did not want to see the ants.

He did not want to see anybody or anything. He sat in the



darkness of his own making, reflecting bitterly that there was no

peace for him. He heard voices now. . . . Illusion! Misery!



Torment! Who would come? Who would speak to him? What business

had he to hear voices? . . . yet he heard them faintly, from the



river. Faintly, as if shouted far off over there, came the words

"We come back soon." . . . Delirium and mockery! Who would come



back? Nobody ever comes back! Fever comes back. He had it on

him this morning. That was it. . . . He heard unexpectedly" target="_blank" title="ad.意外地；突然地">unexpectedly the



old woman muttering something near by. She had come round to his

side of the tree. He opened his eyes and saw her bent back



before him. She stood, with her hand shading her eyes, looking

towards the landing-place. Then she glided away. She had



seen--and now she was going back to her cooking; a woman

incurious; expecting nothing; without fear and without hope.



She had gone back behind the tree, and now Willems could see a

human figure on the path to the landing-place. It appeared to



him to be a woman, in a red gown, holding some heavy bundle in

her arms; it was an apparitionunexpected, familiar and odd. He

• wicked [´wikid] a.邪恶的；不道德的 (初中英语单词)


• sleeping [´sli:piŋ] n.&a.睡着(的) (初中英语单词)


• hidden [´hid(ə)n] hide 的过去分词 (初中英语单词)


• impression [im´preʃən] n.印刷；印象；效果 (初中英语单词)


• extreme [ik´stri:m] a.尽头的 n.极端 (初中英语单词)


• violent [´vaiələnt] a.强暴的；猛烈的 (初中英语单词)


• impulse [´impʌls] n.推动(力)；冲动；刺激 (初中英语单词)


• breath [breθ] n.呼吸；气息 (初中英语单词)


• mystery [´mistəri] n.神秘；秘密；故弄玄虚 (初中英语单词)


• existence [ig´zistəns] n.存在；生存；生活 (初中英语单词)


• mysterious [mi´stiəriəs] a.神秘的；难以理解的 (初中英语单词)


• wilderness [´wildənis] n.荒地，荒野 (初中英语单词)


• sympathy [´simpəθi] n.同情，怜悯 (初中英语单词)


• resign [ri´zain] v.辞职；放弃；委托 (初中英语单词)


• despair [di´speə] vi.&n.绝望 (初中英语单词)


• beginning [bi´giniŋ] n.开始，开端；起源 (初中英语单词)


• civilization [,sivilai´zeiʃən] n.文明，文化 (初中英语单词)


• savage [´sævidʒ] a.野蛮的 n.蛮人 (初中英语单词)


• punishment [´pʌniʃmənt] n.罚，刑罚 (初中英语单词)


• breeze [bri:z] n.微风；不费力的事 (初中英语单词)


• devotion [di´vəuʃən] n.献身；忠诚；热爱 (初中英语单词)


• transport [træn´spɔ:t] n.运输；流放 (初中英语单词)


• gently [´dʒentli] ad.温和地；静静地 (初中英语单词)


• wander [´wɔndə, ´wɑ:n:dər] v.徘徊；流浪 (初中英语单词)


• passion [´pæʃən] n.激情；激怒；恋爱 (初中英语单词)


• immense [i´mens] a.广大的，无限的 (初中英语单词)


• horror [´hɔrə] n.恐怖；战栗 (初中英语单词)


• standing [´stændiŋ] n.持续 a.直立的 (初中英语单词)


• background [´bækgraund] n.背景；经历；幕后 (初中英语单词)


• gesture [´dʒestʃə] n.手势 v.打手势 (初中英语单词)


• careless [´keəlis] a.粗心的；草率的 (初中英语单词)


• dismay [dis´mei] n.惊慌 vt.使惊慌 (初中英语单词)


• imagination [i,mædʒi´neiʃən] n.想象(力) (初中英语单词)


• revenge [ri´vendʒ] vt.报复 n.报仇；报复 (初中英语单词)


• destruction [di´strʌkʃən] n.破坏，毁灭 (初中英语单词)


• personality [,pə:sə´næliti] n.人；个性；人品；人物 (初中英语单词)


• sunshine [´sʌnʃain] n.日光，阳光 (初中英语单词)


• suggestion [sə´dʒestʃən] n.建议，提议；暗示 (初中英语单词)


• restless [´restləs] a.没有休息的 (初中英语单词)


• flutter [´flʌtə] vi.飘扬；摆 n.拍动 (初中英语单词)


• insect [´insekt] n.昆虫 (初中英语单词)


• bitterly [´bitəli] ad.悲痛地；憎恨地 (初中英语单词)


• bundle [´bʌndl] n.包，捆；包袱(裹) (初中英语单词)


• ascent [ə´sent] n.上升；攀登；上坡路 (高中英语单词)


• sadness [´sædnis] n.悲哀；悲痛；凄惨 (高中英语单词)


• appeal [ə´pi:l] vi.&n.请求；呼吁；上诉 (高中英语单词)


• tenderness [´tendənis] n.娇嫩；柔软；温柔 (高中英语单词)


• innumerable [i´nju:mərəbəl] a.无数的，数不清的 (高中英语单词)


• solitude [´sɔlitju:d] n.孤独；寂寞；荒凉 (高中英语单词)


• unconscious [ʌn´kɔnʃəs] a.无意识的；不觉察的 (高中英语单词)


• indifference [in´difrəns] n.冷淡；无足轻重 (高中英语单词)


• strife [straif] n.竞争；吵架；冲突 (高中英语单词)


• significance [sig´nifikəns] n.意义；重要性 (高中英语单词)


• profound [prə´faund] a.深奥的；渊博的 (高中英语单词)


• deliberate [di´libəreit] a.慎重的；故意的 (高中英语单词)


• descent [di´sent] n.出身，家世 (高中英语单词)


• reckless [´rekləs] a.不注意的；鲁莽的 (高中英语单词)


• contempt [kən´tempt] n.轻蔑；受辱；不顾 (高中英语单词)


• disdain [dis´dein] vt.&n.藐视，轻视 (高中英语单词)


• repent [ri´pent] v.后悔；悔改；悔悟 (高中英语单词)


• desperately [´despəritli] ad.绝望地；拼命地 (高中英语单词)


• madness [´mædnis] n.疯狂；狂热 (高中英语单词)


• eternity [i´tə:niti] n.永恒，来世，无穷 (高中英语单词)


• offering [´ɔfəriŋ] n.提供；礼物；捐献 (高中英语单词)


• intensity [in´tensiti] a.激烈；强度；深度 (高中英语单词)


• amongst [ə´mʌŋst] prep.其中之一 =among (高中英语单词)


• inevitable [i´nevitəbəl] a.不可避免的 (高中英语单词)


• faintly [´feintli] ad.微弱地，软弱无力的 (高中英语单词)


• fantastic [fæn´tæstik] a.奇异的；荒谬的 (高中英语单词)


• seeing [si:iŋ] see的现在分词 n.视觉 (高中英语单词)


• explosion [ik´spləuʒən] n.爆炸；爆发；发作 (高中英语单词)


• solemnly [´sɔləmli] ad.严肃地，庄严地 (高中英语单词)


• universe [´ju:nivə:s] n.天地；全人类；银河系 (高中英语单词)


• brightness [´braitnis] n.光明；快乐 (高中英语单词)


• jungle [´dʒʌŋgəl] n.丛林；杂乱的东西 (高中英语单词)


• access [´ækses] n.接近；通路；进入 (高中英语单词)


• unexpected [ʌniks´pektid] a.突然的；意外的 (高中英语单词)


• reluctantly [ri´lʌktəntli] a.不情愿地；勉强地 (英语四级单词)


• pedestal [´pedistl] n.垫座 vt.给…装上座 (英语四级单词)


• superiority [su:piəri´ɔriti, sju:-] n.优越，卓越 (英语四级单词)


• semblance [´sembləns] n.外表；伪装；相似 (英语四级单词)


• hopelessly [´həuplisli] ad.无希望地，绝望地 (英语四级单词)


• consolation [,kɔnsə´leiʃən] n.安慰，慰问 (英语四级单词)


• corruption [kə´rʌpʃən] n.腐化；贪污；贿赂 (英语四级单词)


• luminous [´lu:minəs] a.发光的；明晰的 (英语四级单词)


• feebly [´fi:bli] ad.虚弱地；贫乏地 (英语四级单词)


• indignant [in´dignənt] a.义愤的，愤慨的 (英语四级单词)


• sinister [´sinistə] a.阴险的；不吉的 (英语四级单词)


• unexpectedly [´ʌniks´pektidli] ad.意外地；突然地 (英语四级单词)


• shapeless [´ʃeiplis] a.无定形的；不成样的 (英语六级单词)


• brilliance [´briljəns] n.光辉，辉煌 (英语六级单词)


• mechanically [mi´kænikəli] ad.机械地；无意识地 (英语六级单词)


• expanse [ik´spæns] n.广阔；宽阔的区域 (英语六级单词)


• ghostly [´gəustli] a.鬼的；朦胧的 (英语六级单词)


• holding [´həuldiŋ] n.保持，固定，存储 (英语六级单词)


• apparition [,æpə´riʃən] n.(幽灵)出现；鬼；幻影 (英语六级单词)