when the Son did not exist. In the nature of sonship there must
have been a time when the Son commenced to exist. A father must be
older than his son. To hold
otherwise were a
blasphemy and a
belittlement of God.
And I remembered back to my young days when I had sat at the feet of
Arius, who had been a presbyter of the city of Alexandria, and who
had been robbed of the
bishopric by the blasphemous and heretical
Alexander. Alexander the Sabellianite, that is what he was, and his
feet had fast hold of hell.
Yes, I had been to the Council of Nicea, and seen it avoid the
issue. And I remembered when the Emperor Constantine had banished
Arius for his uprightness. And I remembered when Constantine
repented for reasons of state and
policy and commanded Alexander--
the other Alexander,
thrice cursed, Bishop of Constantinople--to
receive Arius into
communion on the
morrow. And that very night did
not Arius die in the street? They said it was a
violentsicknessvisited upon him in answer to Alexander's prayer to God. But I
said, and so said all we Arians, that the
violentsickness was due
to a
poison, and that the
poison was due to Alexander himself,
Bishop of Constantinople and devil's
poisoner.
And here I ground my body back and forth on the sharp stones, and
muttered aloud, drunk with conviction:
"Let the Jews and Pagans mock. Let them
triumph, for their time is
short. And for them there will be no time after time."
I talked to myself aloud a great deal on that rocky shelf
overlooking the river. I was
feverish, and on occasion I drank
sparingly of water from a stinking goatskin. This goatskin I kept
hanging in the sun that the stench of the skin might increase and
that there might be no
refreshment of
coolness in the water. Food
there was, lying in the dirt on my cave-floor--a few roots and a
chunk of mouldy barley-cake; and hungry I was, although I did not
eat.
All I did that
blessed, livelong day was to sweat and swelter in the
sun,
mortify my lean flesh upon the rock, gaze out of the
desolation, resurrect old memories, dream dreams, and
mutter my
convictions aloud.
And when the sun set, in the swift
twilight I took a last look at
the world so soon to pass. About the feet of the colossi I could
make out the creeping forms of beasts that laired in the once proud
works of men. And to the snarls of the beasts I crawled into my
hole, and,
muttering and dozing,
visioning fevered fancies and
praying that the last day come quickly, I ebbed down into the
darkness of sleep.
Consciousness came back to me in
solitary, with the quartet of
torturers about me.
"Blasphemous and heretical Warden of San Quentin whose feet have
fast hold of hell," I gibed, after I had drunk deep of the water
they held to my lips. "Let the jailers and the trusties
triumph.
Their time is short, and for them there is no time after time."
"He's out of his head," Warden Atherton affirmed.
"He's putting it over on you," was Doctor Jackson's surer judgment.
"But he refuses food," Captain Jamie protested.
"Huh, he could fast forty days and not hurt himself," the doctor
answered.
"And I have," I said, "and forty nights as well. Do me the favour
to
tighten the
jacket and then get out of here."
The head
trusty tried to
insert his
forefinger inside the lacing.
"You couldn't get a quarter of an inch of slack with block and
tackle," he
assured them.
"Have you any
complaint to make, Standing?" the Warden asked.
"Yes," was my reply. "On two counts."
"What are they?"
"First," I said, "the
jacket is abominably loose. Hutchins is an
ass. He could get a foot of slack if he wanted."
"What is the other count?" Warden Atherton asked.
"That you are conceived of the devil, Warden."
Captain Jamie and Doctor Jackson tittered, and the Warden, with a
snort, led the way out of my cell.
Left alone, I
strove to go into the dark and gain back to the wagon
circle at Nephi. I was interested to know the
outcome of that
doomed drifting of our forty great wagons across a
desolate and
hostile land, and I was not at all interested in what came of the