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Beasts and Superbeasts-Part20_H.H.Munro(Saki)(1870-1916)_English Literature(文学名著)-第2页

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that purpose. Still, if one had chastised a smaller boy

for being cheeky weeks before, one was always permitted



on that day to recall the episode to his memory by

chastising him again. That is what the French call



reconstructing the crime."

"I should call it reconstructing the punishment,"



said Mrs. Thackenbury; "and, anyhow, I don't see how you

could introduce a system of primitive schoolboy vengeance



into civilised adult life. We haven't outgrown our

passions, but we are supposed to have learned how to keep



them within strictly decorous limits."

"Of course the thing would have to be done furtively



and politely," said Clovis; "the charm of it would be

that it would never be perfunctory like the other thing.



Now, for instance, you say to yourself: 'I must show the

Webleys some attention at Christmas, they were kind to



dear Bertie at Bournemouth,' and you send them a

calendar, and daily for six days after Christmas the male



Webley asks the female Webley if she has remembered to

thank you for the calendar you sent them. Well,



transplant that idea to the other and more human side of

your nature, and say to yourself: 'Next Thursday is



Nemesis Day; what on earth can I do to those odious

people next door who made such an absurd fuss when Ping



Yang bit their youngest child?' Then you'd get up

awfully early on the allotted day and climb over into



their garden and dig for truffles on their tennis court

with a good gardening fork, choosing, of course, that



part of the court that was screened from observation by

the laurel bushes. You wouldn't find any truffles but



you would find a great peace, such as no amount of

present-giving could ever bestow."



"I shouldn't," said Mrs. Thackenbury, though her air

of protest sounded a bit forced; "I should feel rather a



worm for doing such a thing."

"You exaggerate the power of upheaval which a worm



would be able to bring into play in the limited time

available," said Clovis; "if you put in a strenuous ten



minutes with a really useful fork, the result ought to

suggest the operations of an unusually masterful mole or



a badger in a hurry."

"They might guess I had done it," said Mrs.



Thackenbury.

"Of course they would," said Clovis; "that would be



half the satisfaction of the thing, just as you like

people at Christmas to know what presents or cards you've



sent them. The thing would be much easier to manage, of

course, when you were on outwardly friendly terms with



the object of your dislike. That greedy little Agnes

Blaik, for instance, who thinks of nothing but her food,



it would be quite simple to ask her to a picnic in some

wild woodland spot and lose her just before lunch was



served; when you found her again every morsel of food

could have been eaten up."



"It would require no ordinary human strategy to lose

Agnes Blaik when luncheon was imminent: in fact, I don't



believe it could be done."

"Then have all the other guests, people whom you



dislike, and lose the luncheon. It could have been sent

by accident in the wrong direction."



"It would be a ghastlypicnic," said Mrs.

Thackenbury.



"For them, but not for you," said Clovis; "you would

have had an early and comforting lunch before you



started, and you could improve the occasion by mentioning

in detail the items of the missingbanquet - the lobster



Newburg and the egg mayonnaise, and the curry that was to

have been heated in a chafing-dish. Agnes Blaik would be



delirious long before you got to the list of wines, and

in the long interval of waiting, before they had quite



abandoned hope of the lunch turning up, you could induce

them to play silly games, such as that idiotic one of



'the Lord Mayor's dinner-party,' in which every one has




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