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Fantastic Fables-Part14_Ambrose Bierce(1842-1914)_English Literature(文学名著)-第2页

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The Farmer and His Sons



A FARMER being about to die, and knowing that during his illness

his Sons had permitted the vineyard to become overgrown with weeds



while they improved the shining hour by gambling with the doctor,

said to them:



"My boys, there is a great treasure buried in the vineyard. You

dig in the ground until you find it."



So the Sons dug up all the weeds, and all the vines too, and even

neglected to bury the old man.



Jupiter and the Baby Show

JUPITER held a baby show, open to all animals, and a Monkey entered



her hideous cub for a prize, but Jupiter only laughed at her.

"It is all very well," said the Monkey, "to laugh at my offspring,



but you go into any gallery of antiquesculpture and look at the

statues and busts of the fellows that you begot yourself."



"'Sh! don't expose me," said Jupiter, and awarded her the first

prize.



The Man and the Dog

A MAN who had been bitten by a Dog was told that the wound would



heal if he would dip a piece of bread in the blood and give it to

the Dog. He did so.



"No," said the Dog; "if I were to accept that, it might be thought

that in biting you I was actuated by improper motives."



"And by what motives were you actuated?" asked the Man.

"I desired," replied the Dog, "merely to harmonise myself with the



Divine Scheme of Things. I'm a child of Nature."

The Cat and the Birds



HEARING that the Birds in an aviary were ill, a Cat went to them

and said that he was a physician, and would cure them if they would



let him in.

"To what school of medicine do you belong?" asked the Birds.



"I am a Miaulopathist," said the Cat.

"Did you ever practise Gohomoeopathy?" the Birds inquired, winking



faintly.

The Cat took the hint and his leave.



Mercury and the Woodchopper

A WOODCHOPPER, who had dropped his axe into a deep pool, besought



Mercury to recover it for him. That thoughtless deity immediately

plunged into the pool, which became so salivated that the trees



about its margin all came loose and dropped out.

The Fox and the Grapes



A FOX, seeing some sour grapes hanging within an inch of his nose,

and being unwilling to admit that there was anything he would not



eat, solemnly declared that they were out of his reach.

The Penitent Thief



A BOY who had been taught by his Mother to steal grew to be a man

and was a professional public official. One day he was taken in



the act and condemned to die. While going to the place of

execution he passed his Mother and said to her:



"Behold your work! If you had not taught me to steal, I should not

have come to this."



"Indeed!" said the Mother. "And who, pray, taught you to be

detected?"



The Archer and the Eagle

AN Eagle mortally wounded by an Archer was greatly comforted to



observe that the arrow was feathered with one of his own quills.

"I should have felt bad, indeed," he said, "to think that any other



eagle had a hand in this."

Truth and the Traveller



A MAN travelling in a desert met a Woman.

"Who art thou?" asked the Man, "and why dost thou dwell in this



dreadful place?"

"My name," replied the Woman, "is Truth; and I live in the desert



in order to be near my worshippers when they are driven from among

their fellows. They all come, sooner or later."



"Well," said the Man, looking about, "the country doesn't seem to

be very thickly settled here."



The Wolf and the Lamb

A LAMB, pursued by a Wolf, fled into the temple.



"The priest will catch you and sacrifice you," said the Wolf, "if

you remain there."



"It is just as well to be sacrificed by the priest as to be eaten

by you," said the Lamb.



"My friend," said the Wolf, "it pains me to see you considering so




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