claims in exchange for a quiet life.
But in the end, Alsana laid down the law. Archie and the rest were going whether they liked it
or not. And they didn't. So now they were
taking up half the bus in their attempts to sit alone: Clara
behind Alsana who was behind Archie who was behind Samad who was sitting across from Neena.
Me was sitting next to Archie, but only because there wasn't any more space.
"I was just
saying .. . you know," said Archie, attempting the first conversation to broach the
frosty silence since they left Willesden. "It's quite interesting, the amount of information they put
on bus tickets these days. Compared with, you know, the old days. I was just wondering why. It's
quite interesting."
"I have to be honest, Archibald," said Samad with a grimace, "I find it singularly uninteresting.
I find it terminally dull."
"Oh, right," said Archie. "Right you are."
The bus did one of those arching corners where it feels the merest breath will topple it over.
"Umm ... so you wouldn't know why '
"No, Jones, I have no intimate friends at the bus
garage nor any inside knowledge of the
progressive decisions that are no doubt made daily within London Transport. But if you are asking
me for my uneducated guess, then I imagine it is part of some huge government monitoring process
to track the every movement of one Archibald Jones, to
ascertain where and what he is doing on all
days and at every moment'
"Jesus," Neena cut in irritably, 'why do you have to be such a bullyr
"Excuse me? I was not aware you and I, Neena, were having a conversation."
"He was just asking a question and you have to come over all arsey. I mean, you've been
bullying him for half a century. Haven't you had enough? Why don't you just leave him alone?"
"Neena Begum, I swear if you give me one more instruction today I will
personally tear your
tongue out at the root and wear it as a necktie."
"Steady on, Sam," said Archie, perturbed at the fuss he had inadvertently caused, "I was just'
"Don't you threaten my niece," Alsana chimed in from further down the bus. "Don't you take it
out on her just because you'd rather be eating your beans and chips' Ah! (thought Archie, wistfully)
Beans and chips! - 'than going to see your own son actually achieving something and '
"I can't remember you being all that keen," said Clara, adding her twopence worth. "You know,
you have a very convenient way, Alsi, of forgetting what happened two minutes ago."
"This from the woman who lives with Archibald Jones!" scoffed Samad. "I might remind you
that people in glass houses '
"No, Samad," Clara protested. "Don't even begin to start on me. You're the one who had all the
real objections about coming .. . but you never stick to a decision, do you? Always Pandying
around. At least Archie's, well, you know .. ." stumbled Clara,
unused to defending her husband and
unsure of the necessary
adjective, 'at least he makes a decision and sticks by it. At least Archie's
consistent."
"Oh surely, yes," said Alsana acidly. "The same way that a stone is
consistent, the same way my
dear babba is
consistent for very simple reason that she's been buried
underground for '
"Oh, shut up," said Irie.
Alsana was silenced for a moment, and then the shock subsided and she found her tongue. The
Jones, don't you tell me '
"No, I will tell you," said Irie, going very red in the face, 'actually. Yeah, I will. Shut up. Shut
up, Alsana. And shut up the lot of you. All right? Just shut up. In case you didn't notice, there are,
like, other people on this bus and, believe it or not, not everyone in the
universe wants to listen to
you lot. So shut it. Go on. Try it. Silence. Ah." She reached into the air as if
trying to touch the
quiet she had created. "Isn't that something? Did you know this is how other families are? They're
quiet. Ask one of these people sitting here. They'll tell you. They've got families. This is how some
families are all the time. And some people like to call these families repressed, or emotionally
stunted or whatever, but do you know what I say?"
The Iqbals and the Joneses, astonished into silence along with the rest of the bus (even the
loud-mouthed Ragga girls on their way to a Brixton dance hall New Year ting), had no answer.
"I say, lucky fuckers. Lucky, lucky fuckers."
The Jones!" cried Clara. "Watch your mouth!" But Irie couldn't be stopped.
"What a peaceful existence. What a joy their lives must be. They open a door and all they've got
behind it is a
bathroom or a
lounge. Just
neutral spaces. And not this endless maze of present rooms
and past rooms and the things said in them years ago and everybody's old
historical shit all over the
place. They're not constantly making the same old mistakes. They're not always
hearing the same
old shit. They don't do public performances of angst on public transport. Really, these people exist.
I'm telling you. The biggest traumas of their lives are things like re carpeting Bill-paying. Gate-fixing.
They don't mind what their kids do in life as long as they're
reasonably, you know, healthy. Happy.
And every single fucking day is not this huge battle between who they are and who they should be,
what they were and what they will be. Go on, ask them. And they'll tell you. No mosque. Maybe a
little church. Hardly any sin. Plenty of
forgiveness. No attics. No shit in attics. No skeletons in
cupboards. No great-grandfathers. I will put twenty quid down now that Samad is the only person
in here who knows the inside bloody leg measurement of his great-grandfather. And you know why
they don't know? Because it doesn't fucking matter. As far as they're
concerned, it's the past. This is
what it's like in other families. They're not self-indulgent. They don't run around, relishing,
relishing the fact that they are utterly dysfunctional. They don't spend their time
trying to find ways
to make their lives more complex. They just get on with it. Lucky bastards. Lucky motherfuckers."
The enormous adrenalin rush that sprang from this peculiar
outburst surged through Irie's body,
increased her heart-beat to a gallop and tickled the nerve ends of her
unborn child, for Me was eight
weeks
pregnant and she knew it. What she didn't know, and what she realized she may never know
(the very moment she saw the
ghostly pastel blue lines materialize on the home test, like the face of
the
madonna in the zucchini of an Italian housewife), was the
identity of the father. No test on earth
would tell her. Same thick black hair. Same twinkling eyes. Same habit of chewing the tops of pens.
Same shoe size. Same deoxyribonucleic acid. She could not know her body's decision, what choice
it had made, in the race to the gamete, between the saved and the unsaved. She could not know if
the choice would make any difference. Because
whichever brother it was, it was the other one too.
She would never know.
At first this fact seemed ineffably sad to Me;
instinctively she sentimentalized the
logical" title="a.生物学(上)的">
biologicalfacts, adding her own
invalidMagid, Millat and Marcus 1992, 1999 *
syllogism: if it was not somebody's child, could it be that it was nobody's child? She thought of
those elaborate fictional cartograms that folded out of Joshua's old sci-fi books, his Fantasy
Adventures. That is how her child seemed. A
perfectly plotted thing -with no real coordinates. A
map to an
imaginary fatherland. But then, after
weeping and pacing and rolling it over and over in
her mind, she thought: whatever, you know? Whatever. It was always going to turn out like this, not
precisely like this, but involved like this. This was the Iqbals we were talking about, here. This was
the Joneses. How could she ever have expected anything less?
And so she calmed herself, putting her hand over her palpitating chest and breathing deeply as
the bus approached the square and the pigeons circled. She would tell one of them and not the other;
she -would decide which; she would do it tonight.
"You all right, love?" Archie asked her, after a long period of silence had set in, putting his big
pink hand on her knee, dotted with liver-spots like tea stains. "A lot on your chest, then."
"Fine, Dad. I'm fine."
Archie smiled at her, and tucked a stray hair behind her ear.
"Dad."
"Yes?"
"The thing about the bus tickets." "Yes?"
"One theory goes it's because so many people pay less than they should for their journey. Over
the past few years the bus companies have been suffering from larger and larger deficits. You see
where it says Retain for Inspection! That's so they can check later. It's got all the details there, so
you can't get away with it."
And in the past, Archie wondered, was it just that fewer people cheated? Were they more honest,
and did they leave their front doors open, did they leave their kids with the neighbours, pay social
calls, run up tabs with the butcher? The funny thing about getting old in a country is people always
want to hear that from you. They want to hear it really was once a green and pleasant land. They
need it. Archie wondered if his daughter needed it. She was looking at him funny. Her mouth
down-turned, her eyes almost pleading. But what could he tell her? New Years come and go, but no
amount of resolutions seem to change the fact that there are bad blokes. There were always plenty
of bad blokes.
"When I was a kid," said Irie softly, ringing the bell for their stop, "I used to think they were
little alibis. Bus tickets. I mean, look: they've got the time. The date. The place. And if I was up in
court, and I had to defend myself, and prove I wasn't where they said I was, doing what they said I
did, when they said I did it, I'd pull out one of those."
Archie was silent and Irie, assuming the conversation was over, was surprised when several
minutes later, after they had struggled through the happy New Year crowd and tourists standing
round aimlessly, as they were walking up the steps of the Ferret Institute, her father said, "Now, I
never thought of that. I'll remember that. Because you never know, do you? I mean, do you? Well.
There's a thought. You should pick them up off the street, I suppose. Put 'em all in a jar. An alibi for
every occasion."
And all these people are heading for the same room. The final space. A big room, one of many
in the Perret Institute; a room separate from the
exhibition yet called an Exhibition Room; a
corporate place, a clean slate; white/chrome/pure/plain (this was the design brief) used for the
meetings of people who want to meet somewhere
neutral at the end of the twentieth century; a
virtual place where their business (be that re branding lingerie or re branding lingerie) can be done
in an emptiness, an uncontaminated
cavity; the
logical endpoint of a thousand years of
spaces too
crowded and bloody. This one is pared down, sterilized, made new every day by a
Nigerian cleaning lady with an industrial Hoover and guarded through the night by Mr. De Winter,
a Polish night
watchman (that's what he calls himself his job title is Asset Security Coordinator); he
can be seen protecting the space, walking the borders of the space with a Walkman playing Polish
folk-tunes; you can see him, you can see it through a huge glass front if you walk by the acres of
protected vacuity and a sign with the prices per square foot of these square feet of space of space of
space longer than it is wide and tall enough to fit head-to-toe three Archies and at least half an
Alsana and tonight there are (there will not be tomorrow) two huge, matching posters, slick across
two sides of the room like wallpaper and the text says MILLENNIAL SCIENCE COMMISSION in
a wide variety of fonts ranging from the
deliberate archaism of vfKfoq to the modernity of Impact
in order to get a feel of a thousand years in lettering (this was the brief), and all of it in the
alternatecolours grey, light blue and dark green because these are the colours research reveals people
associate with 'science and technology' (purples and reds
denote the arts, royal blue signifies
'quality and/or approved merchandise'), because
fortunately after years of corporate synaesthesia
(salt &
vinegar blue cheese & onion green people can finally give the answers required when a
space is being designed, or when something is being re branded a room/furniture/Britain (that was
the brief: a new British room, a space for Britain, Britishness, space of Britain, British industrial
space cultural space space); they know what is meant when asked how matt chrome makes them
feel; and they know what is meant by national
identity? symbols? paintings? maps? music?
air-conditioning? smiling black children or smiling Chinese children or [tick the box]? world music?
shag or pile? tile or floorboards? plants? running water?
they know what they want,
especially those who've lived this century, forced from one space to
another like Mr. De Winter one
Wojciech), renamed, re branded the answer to every questionnaire nothing nothing space please
just space nothing please nothing space
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