14 More English than the English -1
In the great tradition of English education, Marcus and Magid became pen pals How they
became pen pals was a matter of fierce debate (Alsana blamed Millat, Millat claimed Me had
slipped Marcus the address, Me said Joyce had sneaked a peek in her address book the Joyce
explanation was correct), but either way they were, and from March '91 onwards letters passed
between them with a
frequency let down only by the
chronic inadequacies of the Bengal
postalsystem. Their combined output was
incredible. Within two months they had filled a volume at least
as thick as Keats's and by four were fast approaching the length and quantity of the true
epistophiles, St. Paul, Clarissa, Disgusted from Tunbridge Wells. Because Marcus made copies of
all his own letters, Me had to rearrange her filing system to provide a drawer
solelydevoted to their
correspondence. She split the filing system in two, choosing to file by author
primarily, then
chronologically, rather than let simple dates rule the roost. Because this was all about people.
People making a connection across continents, across seas. She made two stickers to separate the
wads of material. The first said: From Marcus to Magid. The second said: From Magid to Marcus.
An
unpleasant mixture of
jealousy and
animosity led Me to abuse her secretarial role. She
pinched small collections of letters that wouldn't be missed, took them home, slipped them from
their sheaths, and then, after close readings that would have shamed F. R. Leavis, carefully returned
them to their file. What she found in those
brightly stamped airmail envelopes brought her no joy.
Her mentor had a new protege. Marcus and Magid. Magid and Marcus. It even sounded better. The
way Watson and Crick sounded better than Watson, Crick and Wilkins.
John Donne said more than kisses, letters mingle souls and so they do; Irie was alarmed to find
such a commingling as this, such a successful merging of two people from ink and paper despite
the distance between them. No love letters could have been more
ardent. No passion more fully
returned, right from the very start. The first few letters were filled with the
boundless joy of
mutualrecognition:
tedious for the sneaky mailroom boys of Dhaka, bewildering to Irie, fascinating to the
writers themselves:
It is as if I had always known you; if I were a Hindu I would suspect we met in some former life.
- Magid.
You think like me. You're
precise. I like that. Marcus.
You put it so well and speak my thoughts better than I ever could. In my desire to study the law,
in my
longing to improve the lot of my poor country which is victim to every passing whim of God,
every
hurricane and flood in these aims, what instinct is fundamental? What is the root, the dream
which ties these ambitions together? To make sense of the world. To
eliminate the
random. -
Magid.
And then there was the
mutual admiration. That lasted a good few months:
What you are working on, Marcus these remarkable mice it is nothing less than
revolutionary.
When you delve into the mysteries of inherited characteristics, surely you go straight to the soul of
the human condition as dramatically and fundamentally as any poet, except you are armed with
something essential the poet does not have: the truth. I am in awe of visionary ideas and visionaries.
I am in awe of such a man as Marcus Chalfen. I call it an honour to be able to call him friend. I thank you from the
bottom of my heart for
taking such an
inexplicable and glorious interest in my family's welfare. -
Magid.
It is
incredible to me, the bloody fuss people make about an idea like cloning. Cloning, when it
happens (and I can tell you it will be sooner rather than later) is simply delayed twinning, and never
in my life have I come across a couple of twins who prove more
decidedly the argument against
genetic determinism than Millat and yourself. In every area in which he lacks, you excel I wish I
could turn that sentence around for a vice versa effect, but the hard truth is he excels in nothing
apart from charming the
elastic waistband off my wife's knickers. Marcus.
And finally, there were the plans for the future, plans made
blindly and with amorous speed,
like the English nerd who married a nineteen-stone Mormon from Minnesota because she sounded
sexy on the chat line:
You must get to England as soon as possible, early '93 at the very latest. I'll stump up some of
the cash myself if I have to. Then we can enrol you in the local school, get the exams over and done
with and send you off post-haste to
whichever of the dreaming spires tickles your fancy (though
obviously there's only one real choice) and while you're at it you can hurry up and get older, get to
the bar and provide me with the kind of lawyer I need to fight in my corner. My FutureMouse(c)
needs a staunch
defender. Hurry up, old chap. I haven't got all millennium. Marcus.
The last letter, not the last letter they wrote but the last one Me could stomach, included this
final paragraph from Marcus:
Well, things are the same round here except that myfiks are in excellent order, thanks to Irie.
You'll like her: she's a bright girl and she has the most tremendous breasts .. . Sadly, I don't hold out
much hope for her aspirations in the field of' hard science', more specifically in my own
biotechnology, which she appears to have her heart set on ... she's sharp in a way, but it's the menial
work, the hard grafting, that she's good at she'd make a lab assistant maybe, but she hasn't any head
for the concepts, no head at all. She could try medicine, I suppose, but even there you need a little
bit more chutzpah than she's got.. . 50 it might have to be
dentistry for our Irie (she could fix her
own teeth at least), an honest profession no doubt, but one I hope you'll be avoiding .. .
In the end, Irie wasn't offended. She had the sniffles for a while, but they soon passed. She was
like her mother, like her father a great reinventor of herself, a great make-doer. Can't be a war
correspondent? Be a cyclist. Can't be a cyclist? Fold paper. Can't sit next to Jesus with the 144,000?
Join the Great Crowd. Can't stand the Great Crowd? Marry, Archie. Irie wasn't so upset. She just
thought, right:
dentistry. I'll be a
dentist. Dentistry. Right.
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