mettle.
SILENCE. Who, I? I have been merry twice and once ere now.
Re-enter DAVY
DAVY. [To BARDOLPH] There's a dish of leather-coats for you.
SHALLOW. Davy!
DAVY. Your
worship! I'll be with you straight. [To BARDOLPH]
A cup of wine, sir?
SILENCE. [Singing]
A cup of wine that's brisk and fine,
And drink unto the leman mine;
And a merry heart lives long-a.
FALSTAFF. Well said, Master Silence.
SILENCE. An we shall be merry, now comes in the sweet o' th' night.
FALSTAFF. Health and long life to you, Master Silence!
SILENCE. [Singing]
Fill the cup, and let it come,
I'll
pledge you a mile to th' bottom.
SHALLOW. Honest Bardolph,
welcome; if thou want'st anything and
wilt not call, beshrew thy heart. Welcome, my little tiny thief
and
welcome indeed too. I'll drink to Master Bardolph, and to all
the cabileros about London.
DAVY. I hope to see London once ere I die.
BARDOLPH. An I might see you there, Davy!
SHALLOW. By the mass, you'R crack a quart together- ha! will you
not, Master Bardolph?
BARDOLPH. Yea, sir, in a pottle-pot.
SHALLOW. By God's liggens, I thank thee. The knave will stick by
thee, I can assure thee that. 'A will not out, 'a; 'tis true
bred.
BARDOLPH. And I'll stick by him, sir.
SHALLOW. Why, there spoke a king. Lack nothing; be merry.
[One knocks at door] Look who's at door there, ho! Who knocks?
Exit DAVY
FALSTAFF. [To SILENCE, who has drunk a bumper] Why, now you have
done me right.
SILENCE. [Singing]
Do me right,
And dub me
knight.
Samingo.
Is't not so?
FALSTAFF. 'Tis so.
SILENCE. Is't so? Why then, say an old man can do somewhat.
Re-enter DAVY
DAVY. An't please your
worship, there's one Pistol come from the
court with news.
FALSTAFF. From the court? Let him come in.
Enter PISTOL
How now, Pistol?
PISTOL. Sir John, God save you!
FALSTAFF. What wind blew you
hither, Pistol?
PISTOL. Not the ill wind which blows no man to good. Sweet
knight,
thou art now one of the greatest men in this realm.
SILENCE. By'r lady, I think 'a be, but goodman Puff of Barson.
PISTOL. Puff!
Puff in thy teeth, most recreant
coward base!
Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend,
And helter-skelter have I rode to thee;
And
tidings do I bring, and lucky joys,
And golden times, and happy news of price.
FALSTAFF. I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this world.
PISTOL. A foutra for the world and worldlings base!
I speak of Africa and golden joys.
FALSTAFF. O base Assyrian
knight, what is thy news?
Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.
SILENCE. [Singing] And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.
PISTOL. Shall dunghill curs
confront the Helicons?
And shall good news be baffled?
Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap.
SHALLOW. Honest gentleman, I know not your breeding.
PISTOL. Why, then,
lament therefore.
SHALLOW. Give me
pardon, sir. If, sir, you come with news from the
court, I take it there's but two ways- either to utter them or
conceal them. I am, sir, under the King, in some authority.
PISTOL. Under which king, Bezonian? Speak, or die.
SHALLOW. Under King Harry.
PISTOL. Harry the Fourth- or Fifth?
SHALLOW. Harry the Fourth.
PISTOL. A foutra for thine office!
Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is King;
Harry the Fifth's the man. I speak the truth.
When Pistol lies, do this; and fig me, like
The bragging Spaniard.
FALSTAFF. What, is the old king dead?
PISTOL. As nail in door. The things I speak are just.
FALSTAFF. Away, Bardolph!
saddle my horse. Master Robert Shallow,
choose what office thou wilt in the land, 'tis thine. Pistol, I
will double-
charge thee with dignities.
BARDOLPH. O
joyful day!
I would not take a
knighthood for my fortune.
PISTOL. What, I do bring good news?
FALSTAFF. Carry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow, my Lord
Shallow, be what thou wilt- I am Fortune's
steward. Get on thy
boots; we'll ride all night. O sweet Pistol! Away, Bardolph!
[Exit BARDOLPH] Come, Pistol, utter more to me; and withal
devise something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master Shallow!
I know the young King is sick for me. Let us take any man's
horses: the laws of England are at my
commandment. Blessed are
they that have been my friends; and woe to my Lord Chief Justice!
PISTOL. Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also!
'Where is the life that late I led?' say they.
Why, here it is;
welcome these pleasant days! Exeunt
SCENE IV.
London. A street
Enter BEADLES, dragging in HOSTESS QUICKLY and
DOLL TEARSHEET
HOSTESS. No, thou
arrant knave; I would to God that I might die,
that I might have thee hang'd. Thou hast drawn my shoulder out of
joint.
FIRST BEADLE. The constables have delivered her over to me; and she
shall have whipping-cheer enough, I w
arrant her. There hath been
a man or two
lately kill'd about her.
DOLL. Nut-hook, nut-hook, you lie. Come on; I'll tell thee what,
thou damn'd tripe-visag'd
rascal, an the child I now go with do
miscarry, thou wert better thou hadst struck thy mother, thou
paper-fac'd villain.
HOSTESS. O the Lord, that Sir John were come! He would make this a
bloody day to somebody. But I pray God the fruit of her womb
miscarry!
FIRST BEADLE. If it do, you shall have a dozen of cushions again;
you have but eleven now. Come, I
charge you both go with me; for
the man is dead that you and Pistol beat
amongst you.
DOLL. I'll tell you what, you thin man in a censer, I will have you
as soundly swing'd for this- you blue-bottle rogue, you filthy
famish'd correctioner, if you be not swing'd, I'll forswear
half-kirtles.
FIRST BEADLE. Come, come, you she
knight-errant, come.
HOSTESS. O God, that right should thus
overcome might!
Well, of sufferance comes ease.
DOLL. Come, you rogue, come; bring me to a justice.
HOSTESS. Ay, come, you starv'd bloodhound.
DOLL. Goodman death, goodman bones!
HOSTESS. Thou atomy, thou!
DOLL. Come, you thin thing! come, you
rascal!
FIRST BEADLE. Very well. Exeunt
SCENE V.
Westminster. Near the Abbey
Enter GROOMS, strewing rushes
FIRST GROOM. More rushes, more rushes!
SECOND GROOM. The trumpets have sounded twice.
THIRD GROOM. 'Twill be two o'clock ere they come from the
coronation. Dispatch,
dispatch. Exeunt
Trumpets sound, and the KING and his train pass
over the stage. After them enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW,
PISTOL, BARDOLPH, and page
FALSTAFF. Stand here by me, Master Robert Shallow; I will make the
King do you grace. I will leer upon him, as 'a comes by; and do
but mark the
countenance that he will give me.
PISTOL. God bless thy lungs, good
knight!
FALSTAFF. Come here, Pistol; stand behind me. [To SHALLOW] O, if
I had had to have made new liveries, I would have bestowed the
thousand pound I borrowed of you. But 'tis no matter; this poor
show doth better; this doth infer the zeal I had to see him.
SHALLOW. It doth so.
FALSTAFF. It shows my
earnestness of affection-
SHALLOW. It doth so.
FALSTAFF. My devotion-
SHALLOW. It doth, it doth, it doth.
FALSTAFF. As it were, to ride day and night; and not to deliberate,
not to remember, not to have
patience to shift me-
SHALLOW. It is best, certain.
FALSTAFF. But to stand stained with travel, and sweating with
desire to see him; thinking of nothing else, putting all affairs
else in
oblivion, as if there were nothing else to be done but to
see him.
PISTOL. 'Tis 'semper idem' for 'obsque hoc nihil est.' 'Tis all in
every part.
SHALLOW. 'Tis so, indeed.
PISTOL. My
knight, I will
inflame thy noble liver
And make thee rage.
Thy Doll, and Helen of thy noble thoughts,
Is in base durance and
contagious prison;
Hal'd t
hitherBy most
mechanical and dirty hand.
Rouse up
revenge from ebon den with fell Alecto's snake,
For Doll is in. Pistol speaks
nought but truth.
FALSTAFF. I will deliver her.
[Shouts,within, and the trumpets sound]
PISTOL. There roar'd the sea, and trumpet-clangor sounds.
Enter the KING and his train, the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE
among them
FALSTAFF. God save thy Grace, King Hal; my royal Hal!
PISTOL. The heavens thee guard and keep, most royal imp of fame!
FALSTAFF. God save thee, my sweet boy!
KING. My Lord Chief Justice, speak to that vain man.
CHIEF JUSTICE. Have you your wits? Know you what 'tis you speak?
FALSTAFF. My king! my Jove! I speak to thee, my heart!
KING. I know thee not, old man. Fall to thy prayers.
How ill white hairs become a fool and jester!
I have long dreamt of such a kind of man,
So surfeit-swell'd, so old, and so profane;
But being awak'd, I do
despise my dream.
Make less thy body hence, and more thy grace;
Leave gormandizing; know the grave doth gape
For thee
thrice wider than for other men-
Reply not to me with a fool-born jest;
Presume not that I am the thing I was,
For God doth know, so shall the world perceive,
That I have turn'd away my former self;
So will I those that kept me company.
When thou dost hear I am as I have been,
Approach me, and thou shalt be as thou wast,