master; it is her instinct," mused Mr. Korner to himself. "Damme,"
thought Mr. Korner, "I don't believe that half her time she knows I am
her master."
"Go away," said Mr. Korner to a youth of pasty appearance who, with
open mouth, had stopped immediately in front of him.
"I'm fond o' listening," explained the pasty youth.
"Who's talking?" demanded Mr. Korner.
"You are," replied the pasty youth.
It is a long journey from the city to Ravenscourt Park, but the task
of planning out the future life of Mrs. Korner and himself kept Mr.
Korner wide awake and interested. When he got out of the train the
thing
chiefly troubling him was the three-quarters of a mile of muddy
road stretching between him and his
determination to make things clear
to Mrs. Korner then and there.
The sight of Acacia Villa, suggesting that everybody was in bed and
asleep, served to further
irritate him. A dog-like wife would have
been sitting up to see if there was anything he wanted. Mr. Korner,
acting on the advice of his own brass plate, not only knocked but also
rang. As the door did not immediately fly open, he continued to knock
and ring. The window of the best bedroom on the first floor opened.
"Is that you?" said the voice of Mrs. Korner. There was, as it
happened, a
distinctsuggestion of
passion in Mrs. Korner's voice, but
not of the
passion Mr. Korner was wishful to
inspire. It made him a
little more angry than he was before.
"Don't you talk to me with your head out of the window as if this were
a gallanty show. You come down and open the door," commanded Mr.
Korner.
"Haven't you got your latchkey?" demanded Mrs. Korner.
For answer Mr. Korner attacked the door again. The window closed.
The next moment but six or seven, the door was opened with such
suddenness that Mr. Korner, still gripping the knocker, was borne
inward in a flying attitude. Mrs. Korner had descended the stairs
ready with a few remarks. She had not anticipated that Mr. Korner,
usually slow of speech, could be even readier.
"Where's my supper?"
indignantly demanded Mr. Korner, still supported
by the knocker.
Mrs. Korner, too
astonished for words, simply stared.
"Where's my supper?"
repeated Mr. Korner, by this time worked up into
genuine
astonishment" target="_blank" title="n.吃惊;惊异">
astonishment that it was not ready for him. "What's everybody
mean, going off to bed, when the masterororous hasn't had his supper?"
"Is anything the matter, dear?" was heard the voice of Miss Greene,
speaking from the neighbourhood of the first landing.
"Come in, Christopher," pleaded Mrs. Korner, "please come in, and let
me shut the door."
Mrs. Korner was the type of young lady fond of domineering with a not
un-graceful hauteur over those accustomed to yield
readily to her; it
is a type that is easily frightened.
"I wan' grilled kinneys-on-toast," explained Mr. Korner, exchanging
the knocker for the hat-stand, and wishing the next moment that he had
not. "Don' let's 'avareytalk about it. Unnerstan'? I dowan' any
talk about it."
"What on earth am I to do?" whispered the terrified Mrs. Korner to her
bosom friend, "there isn't a
kidney in the house."
"I should poach him a couple of eggs," suggested the helpful bosom
friend; "put plenty of Cayenne
pepper on them. Very likely he won't
remember."
Mr. Korner allowed himself to be persuaded into the dining-room, which
was also the breakfast parlour and the library. The two ladies,
joined by the
hastily clad staff, whose
chronicindignation seemed to
have vanished in face of the first excuse for it that Acacia Villa had
afforded her, made haste to light the kitchen fire.
"I should never have believed it," whispered the white-faced Mrs.
Korner, "never."
"Makes yer know there's a man about the 'ouse, don't it?" chirped the
delighted staff. Mrs. Korner, for answer, boxed the girl's ears; it
relieved her feelings to a slight extent.
The staff retained its equanimity, but the operations of Mrs. Korner
and her bosom friend were retarded rather than assisted by the voice
of Mr. Korner, heard every quarter of a minute, roaring out fresh
directions.
"I dare not go in alone," said Mrs. Korner, when all things were in
order on the tray. So the bosom friend followed her, and the staff
brought up the rear.
"What's this?" frowned Mr. Korner. "I told you chops."
"I'm so sorry, dear," faltered Mrs. Korner, "but there weren't any in
the house."
"In a
perfectly organizedouse, such as for the future I meanterave,"
continued Mr. Korner, helping himself to beer, "there should always be
chopanteak. Unnerstanme? chopanteak!"
"I'll try and remember, dear," said Mrs. Korner.
"Pearsterme," said Mr. Korner, between mouthfuls, "you're norrer sort
of
housekeeper I want."
"I'll try to be, dear," pleaded Mrs. Korner.
"Where's your books?" Mr. Korner suddenly demanded.
"My books?"
repeated Mrs. Korner, in
astonishment" target="_blank" title="n.吃惊;惊异">
astonishment.
Mr. Korner struck the corner of the table with his fist, which made
most things in the room, including Mrs. Korner, jump.
"Don't you defy me, my girl," said Mr. Korner. "You know whatermean,
your housekeepin' books."
They happened to be in the
drawer of the chiffonier. Mrs. Korner
produced them, and passed them to her husband with a trembling hand.
Mr. Korner,
opening one by
hazard, bent over it with knitted brows.
"Pearsterme, my girl, you can't add," said Mr. Korner.
"I--I was always considered rather good at
arithmetic, as a girl,"
stammered Mrs. Korner.
"What you mayabeen as a girl, and what--twenner-seven and nine?"
fiercely questioned Mr. Korner.
"Thirty-eight--seven," commenced to
blunder the terrified Mrs. Korner.
"Know your nine tables or don't you?" thundered Mr. Korner.
"I used to," sobbed Mrs. Korner.
"Say it," commanded Mr. Korner.
"Nine times one are nine," sobbed the poor little woman, "nine times
two--"
"Goron," said Mr. Korner sternly.
She went on
steadily, in a low monotone, broken by stifled sobs. The
dreary
rhythm of the
repetition may possibly have assisted. As she
mentioned fearfully that nine times eleven were ninety-nine, Miss
Greene
pointedstealthily toward the table. Mrs. Korner, glancing up
fearfully, saw that the eyes of her lord and master were closed; heard
the rising snore that issued from his head, resting between the empty
beer-jug and the cruet stand.
"He will be all right," counselled Miss Greene. "You go to bed and
lock yourself in. Harriet and I will see to his breakfast in the
morning. It will be just as well for you to be out of the way."
And Mrs. Korner, only too
thankful for some one to tell her what to
do, obeyed in all things.
Toward seven o'clock the
sunlight streaming into the room caused Mr.
Korner first to blink, then yawn, then open half an eye.
"Greet the day with a smile," murmured Mr. Korner,
sleepily, "and it
will--"
Mr. Korner sat up suddenly and looked about him. This was not bed.
The fragments of a jug and glass lay scattered round his feet. To the
tablecloth an overturned cruet-stand mingled with egg gave colour. A
tingling
sensation about his head called for
investigation. Mr.
Korner was forced to the
conclusion that somebody had been
trying to
make a salad of him--somebody with an
exceptionally heavy hand for
mustard. A sound directed Mr. Korner's attention to the door.
The face of Miss Greene, portentously grave, was peeping through the
jar.
Mr. Korner rose. Miss Greene entered
stealthily, and, closing the
door, stood with her back against it.
"I suppose you know what--what you've done?" suggested Miss Greene,
She spoke in a sepulchral tone; it chilled poor Mr. Korner to the
bone.
"It is
beginning to come back to me, but not--not very clearly,"
admitted Mr. Korner.
"You came home drunk--very drunk," Miss Greene informed him, "at two
o'clock in the morning. The noise you made must have awakened half
the street."
A groan escaped from his parched lips.
"You insisted upon Aimee cooking you a hot supper."
"I insisted!" Mr. Korner glanced down upon the table. "And--and she
did it!"
"You were very violent," explained Miss Greene; "we were terrified at
you, all three of us." Regarding the
pathetic object in front of her,
Miss Greene found it difficult to
recollect that a few hours before
she really had been frightened of it. Sense of duty alone restrained
her present
inclination to laugh.
"While you sat there, eating your supper," continued Miss Greene
remorselessly, "you made her bring you her books."
Mr. Korner had passed the stage when anything could
astonish him.
"You lectured her about her housekeeping." There was a
twinkle in the
eye of Mrs. Korner's bosom friend. But
lightning could have flashed
before Mr. Korner's eyes without his noticing it just then.
"You told her that she could not add, and you made her say her
tables."
"I made her--" Mr. Korner spoke in the emotionless tones of one merely
desiring information. "I made Aimee say her tables?"
"Her nine times," nodded Miss Greene.
Mr. Korner sat down upon his chair and stared with stony eyes into the
future.
"What's to be done?" said Mr. Korner, "she'll never
forgive me; I know
her. You are not chaffing me?" he cried with a
momentary gleam of
hope. "I really did it?"
"You sat in that very chair where you are sitting now and ate poached
eggs, while she stood opposite to you and said her nine times table.
At the end of it,
seeing you had gone to sleep yourself, I persuaded
her to go to bed. It was three o'clock, and we thought you would not
mind." Miss Greene drew up a chair, and, with her elbows on the
table, looked across at Mr. Korner. Decidedly there was a
twinkle in
the eyes of Mrs. Korner's bosom friend.
"You'll never do it again," suggested Miss Greene.
"Do you think it possible," cried Mr. Korner, "that she may
forgiveme?"
"No, I don't," replied Miss Greene. At which Mr. Korner's face fell
back to zero. "I think the best way out will be for you to
forgiveher."
The idea did not even amuse him. Miss Greene glanced round to satisfy
herself that the door was still closed, and listened a moment to
assure herself of the silence.
"Don't you remember," Miss Greene took the extra
precaution to whisper
it, "the talk we had at breakfast-time the first morning of my visit,
when Aimee said you would be all the better for 'going it'
occasionally?"
Yes, slowly it came back to Mr. Korner. But she only said "going it,"
Mr. Korner
recollected to his dismay.
"Well, you've been 'going it,'" persisted Miss Greene. "Besides, she
did not mean 'going it.' She meant the real thing, only she did not
like to say the word. We talked about it after you had gone. She
said she would give anything to see you more like the ordinary man.
And that is her idea of the ordinary man."
Mr. Korner's sluggishness of
comprehensionirritated Miss Greene. She
leaned across the table and shook him. "Don't you understand? You
have done it on purpose to teach her a lesson. It is she who has got
to ask you to
forgive her."
"You think--?"
"I think, if you manage it
properly, it will be the best day's work
you have ever done. Get out of the house before she wakes. I shall
say nothing to her. Indeed, I shall not have the time; I must catch
the ten o'clock from Paddington. When you come home this evening, you
talk first; that's what you've got to do." And Mr. Korner, in his