may take thee years to catch the hang of."
[3] Classes of traveling mendicants that infested England
as late as the middle of the seventeenth century.
VIDE Dakkar's ENGLISH VILLAINIES, etc.
"Mayhap that may be so," quoth Robin, "for I bring to mind
that Gaffer Swanthold sayeth Jack Shoemaker maketh ill bread;
Tom Baker maketh ill shoon. Nevertheless, I have a mind to taste
a
beggar's life, and need but the clothing to be as good as any."
"I tell thee, fellow," said the Beggar, "if thou wert clad as
sweetly as good
Saint Wynten, the
patron of our craft, thou wouldst never make a
beggar.
Marry, the first jolly traveler that thou wouldst meet would beat thee to a
pudding for thrusting thy nose into a craft that belongeth not to thee."
"Nevertheless," quoth Robin, "I would have a try at it; and
methinks I shall
change clothes with thee, for thy garb seemeth to be pretty, not to say gay.
So not only will I change clothes, but I will give thee two golden angels
to boot. I have brought my stout staff with me, thinking that I might
have to rap some one of the brethren of thy cloth over the head by way
of
argument in this matter, but I love thee so much for the feast thou
hast given me that I would not lift even my little finger against thee,
so thou needst not have a crumb of fear."
To this the Beggar listened with his knuckles resting against his hips,
and when Robin had ended he cocked his head on one side and thrust
his tongue into his cheek.
"Marry, come up," quoth he at last. "Lift thy finger
against me, forsooth! Art thou out of thy wits, man?
My name is Riccon Hazel, and I come from Holywell, in Flintshire,
over by the River Dee. I tell thee, knave, I have
crackedthe head of many a better man than thou art, and even now I would
scald thy crown for thee but for the ale thou hast given me.
Now thou shalt not have so much as one tag-rag of my coat,
even could it save thee from hanging."
"Now, fellow," said Robin, "it would ill suit me to spoil thy pretty head
for thee, but I tell thee
plainly, that but for this feast I would do
that to thee would stop thy traveling the country for many a day to come.
Keep thy lips shut, lad, or thy luck will tumble out of thy mouth
with thy speech!"
"Now out, and alas for thee, man, for thou hast bred thyself ill
this day!" cried the Beggar, rising and
taking up his staff.
"Take up thy club and defend thyself, fellow, for I will
not only beat thee but I will take from thee thy money
and leave thee not so much as a clipped groat to buy thyself
a lump of goose
grease to rub thy
cracked crown withal.
So defend thyself, I say."
Then up leaped merry Robin and snatched up his staff also.
"Take my money, if thou canst," quoth he. "I promise
freely to give thee every
farthing if thou dost touch me."
And he twirled his staff in his fingers till it whistled again.
Then the Beggar swung his staff also, and struck a
mighty blow
at Robin, which the
yeoman turned. Three blows the Beggar struck,
yet never one touched so much as a hair of Robin's head.
Then stout Robin saw his chance, and, ere you could count three,
Riccon's staff was over the hedge, and Riccon himself lay
upon the green grass with no more
motion than you could find
in an empty
pudding bag.
"How now!" quoth merry Robin, laughing. "Wilt thou have my hide or my money,
sweet chuck?" But to this the other answered never a word. Then Robin,
seeing his
plight, and that he was stunned with the blow, ran, still laughing,
and brought the skin of ale and poured some of it on the Beggar's head
and some down his
throat, so that
presently he opened his eyes and looked
around as though wondering why he lay upon his back.
Then Robin,
seeing that he had somewhat gathered the wits that
had just been rapped out of his head, said, "Now, good fellow,
wilt thou change clothes with me, or shall I have to tap
thee again? Here are two golden angels if thou wilt give
me
freely all thy rags and bags and thy cap and things.
If thou givest them not
freely, I much fear me I shall have to--"
and he looked up and down his staff.
Then Riccon sat up and rubbed the bump on his crown. "Now, out upon it!"
quoth he. "I did think to drub thee
sweetly, fellow. I know not how it is,
but I seem, as it were, to have bought more beer than I can drink.
If I must give up my clothes, I must, but first promise me, by thy word
as a true
yeoman, that thou wilt take
nought from me but my clothes."
"I promise on the word of a true
yeoman," quoth Robin,
thinking that the fellow had a few pennies that he would save.
Thereupon the Beggar drew a little knife that hung at his side and,
ripping up the
lining of his coat, drew
thence ten bright golden pounds,
which he laid upon the ground beside him with a
cunning wink
at Robin. "Now thou mayst have my clothes and welcome," said he,
"and thou mightest have had them in exchange for thine without
the cost of a single
farthing, far less two golden angels."
"Marry," quoth Robin, laughing, "thou art a sly fellow, and I tell thee truly,
had I known thou hadst so much money by thee maybe thou mightst not have
carried it away, for I
warrant thou didst not come
honestly by it."
Then each stripped off his clothes and put on those of the other, and as
lusty a
beggar was Robin Hood as e'er you could find of a summer's day.
But stout Riccon of Holywell skipped and leaped and danced for joy of the fair
suit of Lincoln green that he had so
gotten. Quoth he, "I am a gay-feathered
bird now. Truly, my dear Moll Peascod would never know me in this dress.
Thou mayst keep the cold pieces of the feast, friend, for I mean to live
well and lustily while my money lasts and my clothes are gay."
So he turned and left Robin and, crossing the stile, was gone,
but Robin heard him singing from beyond the hedge as he
strode away:
"_For Polly is smiling and Molly is glad
When the
beggar comes in at the door,
And Jack and Dick call him a fine lusty lad,
And the
hostess runs up a great score.
Then hey, Willy Waddykin,
Stay, Billy Waddykin,
And let the brown ale flow free, flow free,
The
beggar's the man for me_."
Robin listened till the song ended in the distance,
then he also crossed the stile into the road,
but turned his toes away from where the Beggar had gone.
The road led up a gentle hill and up the hill Robin walked,
a half score or more of bags dangling about his legs.
Onward he strolled for a long time, but other adventure he found not.
The road was bare of all else but himself, as he went kicking
up little clouds of dust at each
footstep; for it was noontide,
the most
peaceful time of all the day, next to twilight.
All the earth was silent in the restfulness of eating time;
the plowhorses stood in the
furrow munching, with great bags
over their noses
holding sweet food, the plowman sat under
the hedge and the plowboy also, and they, too, were munching,
each one
holding a great piece of bread in one fist and a great
piece of
cheese in the other.
So Robin, with all the empty road to himself,
strode along whistling
merrily,
his bags and pouches bobbing and dangling at his thighs. At last he came
to where a little grass-grown path left the road and, passing through a stile
and down a hill, led into a little dell and on across a rill in the valley
and up the hill on the other side, till it reached a windmill that stood
on the cap of the rise where the wind bent the trees in swaying
motion.
Robin looked at the spot and liked it, and, for no reason but that his fancy
led him, he took the little path and walked down the
grassy sunny slope
of the open
meadow, and so came to the little dingle and, ere he knew it,
upon four lusty fellows that sat with legs
outstretched around a goodly
feast spread upon the ground.
Four merry
beggars were they, and each had slung about
his neck a little board that rested upon his breast.
One board had written upon it, "I am blind," another, "I am deaf,"
another, "I am dumb," and the fourth, "Pity the lame one."
But although all these troubles written upon the boards seemed
so
grievous, the four stout fellows sat around feasting
as
merrily as though Cain's wife had never opened the pottle
that held misfortunes and let them forth like a cloud of flies
to pester us.
The deaf man was the first to hear Robin, for he said, "Hark, brothers, I hear
someone coming." And the blind man was the first to see him, for he said,
"He is an honest man, brothers, and one of like craft to ourselves."
Then the dumb man called to him in a great voice and said, "Welcome, brother;
come and sit while there is still some of the feast left and a little
Malmsey in the pottle." At this, the lame man, who had taken off his
wooden leg and unstrapped his own leg, and was sitting with it stretched
out upon the grass so as to rest it, made room for Robin among them.
"We are glad to see thee, brother," said he,
holding out the flask of Malmsey.
"Marry," quoth Robin, laughing, and weighing the flask in his hands
ere he drank, "
methinks it is no more than seemly of you all to be
glad to see me,
seeing that I bring sight to the blind, speech to
the dumb,
hearing to the deaf, and such a lusty leg to a lame man.
I drink to your happiness, brothers, as I may not drink to your health,
seeing ye are already hale, wind and limb."
At this all grinned, and the Blind
beggar, who was the chief man among them,
and was the broadest shouldered and most lusty
rascal of all, smote Robin
upon the shoulder, swearing he was a right merry wag.
"Whence comest thou, lad?" asked the Dumb man.
"Why," quoth Robin, "I came this morning from
sleepingovernight in Sherwood."
"Is it even so?" said the Deaf man. "I would not for all the money we four
are carrying to Lincoln Town sleep one night in Sherwood. If Robin Hood
caught one of our trade in his woodlands he would,
methinks, clip his ears."
"Methinks he would, too," quoth Robin, laughing. "But what money
is this that ye speak of?"
Then up spake the Lame man. "Our king, Peter of York," said he,
"hath sent us to Lincoln with those moneys that--"
"Stay, brother Hodge," quoth the Blind man, breaking into the talk,
"I would not doubt our brother here, but bear in mind we know him not.
What art thou, brother? Upright-man, Jurkman, Clapper-dudgeon, Dommerer,
or Abraham-man?"
At these words Robin looked from one man to the other with mouth agape.
"Truly," quoth he, "I trust I am an
upright man, at least, I
strive to be;
but I know not what thou meanest by such jargon, brother. It were much
more seemly,
methinks, if yon Dumb man, who hath a sweet voice, would give
us a song."
At these words a silence fell on all, and after a while the Blind
man spoke again. Quoth he, "Thou dost surely jest when thou
sayest that thou dost not understand such words. Answer me this:
Hast thou ever fibbed a chouse quarrons in the Rome pad for the loure
in his bung?"[4]
[4] I.E., in old
beggar's cant, "beaten a man or
gallant upon the highway
for the money in his purse." Dakkar's ENGLISH VILLAINIES.
"Now out upon it," quoth Robin Hood testily, "an ye make sport of me
by pattering such gibberish, it will be ill for you all, I tell you.
I have the best part of a mind to crack the heads of all four of you,
and would do so, too, but for the sweet Malmsey ye have given me.
Brother, pass the pottle lest it grow cold."
But all the four
beggars leaped to their feet when Robin had
done
speaking, and the Blind man snatched up a heavy knotted cudgel
that lay beside him on the grass, as did the others likewise.
Then Robin,
seeing that things were like to go ill with him,
albeit he knew not what all the coil was about, leaped to his
feet also and, catching up his
trusty staff, clapped his back
against the tree and stood upon his guard against them.
"How, now!" cried he, twirling his staff betwixt his fingers,
"would you four stout fellows set upon one man?
Stand back, ye
rascals, or I will score your pates till they
have as many marks upon them as a pothouse door! Are ye mad?
I have done you no harm."
"Thou liest!" quoth the one who pretended to be blind and who,
being the lustiest
villain, was the leader of the others,
"thou liest! For thou hast come among us as a vile spy.
But thine ears have heard too much for thy body's good, and thou
goest not forth from this place unless thou goest feet foremost,
for this day thou shalt die! Come, brothers, all together!