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Yet somehow as the years go by
Still we
gamble and drink and lie,
When it comes to the last we'll want to die -
Any other time!
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THE LAST TRUMP
`YOU led the trump,' the old man said
With fury in his eye,
`And yet you hope my girl to wed!
`Young man! your hopes of love are fled,
`'Twere better she should die!
`My sweet young daughter sitting there,
`So
innocent and plump!
`You don't suppose that she would care
`To wed an outlawed man who'd dare
`To lead the thirteenth trump!
`If you had drawn their leading spade
`It meant a certain win!
`But no! By Pembroke's
mighty shade
`The thirteenth trump you went and played
`And let their diamonds in!
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`My girl! Return at my command
`His presents in a lump!
`Return his ring! For understand
`No man is fit to hold your hand
`Who leads a thirteenth trump!
`But hold! Give every man his due
`And every dog his day.
`Speak up and say what made you do
`This
dreadful thing - that is, if you
`Have anything to say!'
He spoke. `I meant at first,' said he,
`To give their spades a bump:
`Or lead the hearts, but then you see
`I thought against us there might be,
`Perhaps, a fourteenth trump!'
.
.
.
.
.
They buried him at dawn of day
Beside a ruined stump:
And there he sleeps the hours away
And waits for Gabriel to play
The last - the fourteenth - trump.
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TAR AND FEATHERS
OH! the
circus swooped down
On the Narrabri town,
For the Narrabri
populace moneyed are;
And the showman he smiled
At the folk he beguiled
To come all the distance from Gunnedah.
But a
juvenile smart,
Who objected to `part',
Went in `on the nod', and to do it he
Crawled in through a crack
In the tent at the back,
For the boy had no slight ingenuity.
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And says he with a grin,
`That's the way to get in;
`But I
reckon I'd better be quiet or
`They'll spiflicate me,'
And he chuckled, for he
Had the loan of the
circus proprietor.
But the showman astute
On that wily galoot
Soon dropped, and you'll say that he leathered him -
Not he; with a grim
Sort of
humorous whim,
He took him and tarred him and
feathered him.
Says he, `You can go
`Round the world with a show,
`And knock every Injun and Arab wry;
`With your name and your trade,
`On the posters displayed,
`The
feathered what-is-it from Narrabri.'
Next day for his freak,
By a Narrabri beak,
He was jawed with a deal of verbosity;
For his only appeal
Was `professional zeal' -
He wanted another monstrosity.
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Said his
worship, `Begob!
`You are fined forty bob,
`And six shillin's costs to the clurk!' he says.
And the Narrabri joy,
Half bird and half boy,
Has a `down' on himself and on
circuses.
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IT'S GRAND
IT'S grand to be a squatter
And sit upon a post,
And watch your little ewes and lambs
A-giving up the ghost.
It's grand to be a `cockie'
With wife and kids to keep,
And find an all-wise Providence
Has mustered all your sheep.
It's grand to be a Western man,
With
shovel in your hand,
To dig your little
homestead out
From
underneath the sand.
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It's grand to be a shearer,
Along the Darling side,
And pluck the wool from stinking sheep
That some days since have died.
It's grand to be a rabbit
And breed till all is blue,
And then to die in heaps because
There's nothing left to chew.
It's grand to be a Minister
And travel like a swell,
And tell the Central District folk
To go to - Inverell.
It's grand to be a Socialist
And lead the bold array
That marches to prosperity
At seven bob a day.
It's grand to be an unemployed
And lie in the Domain,
And wake up every second day
And go to sleep again.
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It's grand to borrow English tin
To pay for
wharves and Rocks,
And then to find it isn't in
The little money-box.
It's grand to be a democrat
And toady to the mob,
For fear that if you told the truth
They'd hunt you from your job.
It's grand to be a lot of things
In this fair Southern land,
But if the Lord would send us rain,
That would, indeed, be grand!
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OUT OF SIGHT
THEY held a polo meeting at a little country town,
And all the local sportsmen came to win themselves renown.
There came two strangers with a horse, and I am much afraid
They both belonged to what is called `the take-you-down brigade'.
They said their horse could jump like fun, and asked an
amateurTo ride him in the
steeplechase, and told him they were sure,
The last time round, he'd sail away with such a swallow's flight
The rest would never see him go - he'd finish out of sight.
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So out he went; and, when folk saw the
amateur was up,
Some local
genius called the race `the dude-in-danger cup'.
The horse was known as `Who's Afraid', by Panic from `The Fright'.
But still his owners told the jock he'd finish out of sight.
And so he did; for `Who's Afraid', without the least pretence,
Disposed of him by rushing through the very second fence;
And when they ran the last time round the
prophecy was right -
For he was in the
ambulance, and
safely `out of sight'.
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THE ROAD TO OLD MAN'S TOWN
THE fields of youth are filled with flowers,
The wine of youth is strong:
What need have we to count the hours?
The summer days are long.
But soon we find to our dismay
That we are drifting down
The
barren slopes that fall away
Towards the foothills grim and grey
That lead to Old Man's Town.
And marching with us on the track
Full many friends we find:
We see them looking sadly back
For those that dropped behind.
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But God
forbid a fate so dread -
Alone to travel down
The
dreary road we all must tread,
With faltering steps and whitening head,
The road to Old Man's Town!
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THE OLD TIMER'S STEEPLECHASE
The sheep were shorn and the wool went down
At the time of our local racing:
And I'd earned a spell - I was burnt and brown -
So I rolled my swag for a trip to town
And a look at the
steeplechasing.
'Twas rough and ready - an uncleared course
As rough as the blacks had found it;
With barbed-wire fences, topped with gorse,
And a water-jump that would drown a horse,
And the
steeple three times round it.
There was never a fence the tracks to guard, -
Some straggling posts defined 'em:
And the day was hot, and the drinking hard,
Till none of the stewards could see a yard
Before nor yet behind 'em!
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But the bell was rung and the nags were out,