Beverly Floyd will never forget the worst argument she ever had with her husband -- a fight that saw the couple screaming at each other and hurling insults of 'crazy' and 'psycho.'

A spat about finances? The kids? Work? Nope. It was about which one of them should gas up the car.

The fireworks started when the couple pulled into a service station while on a return leg of a road trip. Already silently fuming that he hadn't offered to do his share of the driving, Ms. Floyd was astounded when her then-boyfriend didn't lift a finger to pump the gas. So she did it herself and paid for it. As she got back into the car, he handed her a $20 bill.

Bad idea. She threw it at him. He tossed it back at her. She ripped it up. He shredded the cash she kept in the ashtray. She ripped up the money in his wallet. All told, they destroyed about $200 in a matter of minutes. (They spent their evening trying to match serial numbers and tape the shredded pieces of money together.)

'Although we've gotten better, we still argue every single time we get in the car,' says Ms. Floyd, 41-years-old, a corporate trainer who lives in Kennesaw, Ga.

Did you drive somewhere with your beloved this past holidayweekend? How'd that go for you?

Sure, road trips can be romantic, but the car is often the last place where we have to relinquish full control in a relationship. And that can make the ride, well, emotionally bumpy.

Couples argue over everything from who packs the trunk to how quickly to run the windshield wipers. Who drives? How fast? When is it appropriate to pass an 18-wheeler? Should you take directions from the GPS system or your spouse? It's amazing anyone gets out of the garage.

The car clashes got so bad for Jim and Danna Harnish that they resorted to an extrememeasure: A finger puppet lamb. Named Arnella.

When Ms. Harnish feels that her husband is driving too fast, following too close to another car or not turning on the windshield wipers when they are needed, she pulls Arnella out, snuggles the toy up to his neck and -- in what she calls 'a little delicate girlie voice' -- makes the lamb tell her husband what to do.

'Instead of me nagging, it's Arnella nagging,' says Ms. Harnish, 65, a retired camera saleswoman from Bend, Ore. 'She has saved our 45-year-marriage.' (Ms. Harnish has given stuffed lambs to her three children's spouses as wedding presents.)

Mr. Harnish agrees that the lamb ploy works. 'When I hear her whiny little voice, I just say to myself: 'I know what's going on, you don't have to say anymore,'' says the 67-year-old retired middle school vice principal. 'Who am I going to argue with -- a little lamb on a finger?'

That said, on several tense occasions, Arnella ended up as roadkill.

'When Arnella comes out too frequently, she needs to go away,' he says. 'Away' as in out the driver's side window. Each time, Ms. Harnish simply buys a new plush mutton.

Remember when cars were romantic? As teenagers, they represented freedom and first kisses. And as adults, many couples say they have their most intimate discussions on long drives, because they are trapped together yet not forced to face each other directly.

But, sadly, automobiles too often become flashpoints for the power struggles and personality clashes going on elsewhere in our relationships.

Consider the ride Marjorie Greenwald and her husband took one recent Sunday while running errands. Ms. Greenwald tried to pull out of a gas station. 'All of a sudden, he was screaming like I had taken him down a rollercoaster,' she says.

The problem? Ms. Greenwald was attempting to make a left turn across four lanes of oncoming traffic. The maneuver -- which she calls 'stealth' and he calls 'suicidal' -- prompted an argument that ended with 20 minutes of 'silent treatment' and started up all over again hours later when the couple got home.

Both husband and wife agree that the spat was really about control -- and Ms. Greenwald's need for it. 'The car is the only place where my husband and I argue,' says Ms. Greenwald, 31, a media and communications consultant in Washington, DC. 'We have our own domains at home and work but this is the only place where, no pun intended, only one person is in the driver's seat.'

So what's a peace-loving couple to do? Fly. It worked for one friend of mine. Last Christmas, she packed her three kids in the car for the six-hour drive from New York to New England and let her husband, who was stuck at work, take a plane. 'It was so blissful,' she says, a little too cheerfully. 'I'm going to do it every time.'

Elizabeth Bernstein

• argument [´ɑ:gjumənt] n.辩论；争论；论证 (初中英语单词)
• silently [´sailəntli] ad.寂静地；沉默地 (初中英语单词)
• beloved [bi´lʌvd] a.为....所爱的 n.爱人 (初中英语单词)
• holiday [´hɔlidi] n.假日，假期，节日 (初中英语单词)
• romantic [rəu´mæntik] a.传奇(式)的；浪漫的 (初中英语单词)
• system [´sistəm] n.系统，体系，制度 (初中英语单词)
• amazing [ə´meiziŋ] a.惊人的；惊奇的 (初中英语单词)
• extreme [ik´stri:m] a.尽头的 n.极端 (初中英语单词)
• measure [´meʒə] n.量度；范围 vt.测量 (初中英语单词)
• delicate [´delikət] a.精美的；微妙的 (初中英语单词)
• wedding [´wediŋ] n.婚礼，结婚 (初中英语单词)
• principal [´prinsəpəl] a.主要的 n.负责人 (初中英语单词)
• intimate [´intimit] a.亲密的 n.知己 (初中英语单词)
• personality [,pə:sə´næliti] n.人；个性；人品；人物 (初中英语单词)
• elsewhere [,elsweə] ad.在别处；向别处 (初中英语单词)
• running [´rʌniŋ] a.奔跑的；流动的 (初中英语单词)
• traffic [´træfik] n.交通，运输 (初中英语单词)
• trainer [´treinə] n.训练员，教(练)员 (高中英语单词)
• relationship [ri´leiʃənʃip] n.关系；联系；亲属关系 (高中英语单词)
• appropriate [ə´prəupri-it, ə´prəuprieit] a.适宜的 vt.私占；拨给 (高中英语单词)
• cheerfully [´tʃiəfuli] ad.高兴地，愉快地 (高中英语单词)
• wallet [´wɑ:lit] n.(放钞票等的)皮夹子 (英语四级单词)
• trying [´traiiŋ] a.难堪的；费劲的 (英语四级单词)
• gotten [´gɔtn] get的过去分词 (英语四级单词)
• weekend [´wi:kend, ,wi:k´end] n.周末休假 (英语四级单词)
• fireworks [´faiəwə:ks] n.爆竹，焰火 (英语六级单词)
• relinquish [ri´liŋkwiʃ] vt.放弃；撤回；停止 (英语六级单词)
• spouse [spauz] n.配偶 (英语六级单词)
• puppet [´pʌpit] n.木偶；傀儡 (英语六级单词)
• retired [ri´taiəd] a.退休的；通职的 (英语六级单词)