To People I Hear Talking Loudly on Their Cell Phones

　　 by James Stevenson

　　 It is VERY IMPORTANT

　　 to take care of your cell phone！

　　 Do you know how？

　　 The best way is to drop it in

　　 a deep pot of chicken fat

　　 and bring to a boil.

　　 Simmer for two hours.

　　 Let cool.

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