I Bought a Pet Tomato

　　I bought a pet tomato

　　and I tried to teach him tricks,

　　but he wasn't any good at

　　catching balls or fetching sticks.

　　He could never catch a Frisbee,

　　and he wouldn't sit or speak,

　　though we practiced every afternoon

　　and evening for a week.

　　He refused to shake or wave or crawl

　　or beg or take a bow,

　　and I tried, but couldn't make him bark

　　or get him to meow.

　　He was terrible at playing dead.

　　He couldn't jump a rope.

　　When he wouldn't do a single trick

　　I simply gave up hope.

　　Though I liked my pet tomato,

　　I returned him with regret.

　　Boy, I sure do hope this watermelon

　　makes a better pet.