It has often been said that opposites attract but research suggests that initial spark of attraction soon fades and does not make for a long and happy married life.

A survey carried out by The Oxford Internet Institute, looked at the habits of 1,000 couples to find the secret of a happy relationship.

The poll was conducted for online matchmaking service eHarmony.

People who want to sign up for the site, complete a comprehensive questionnaire of more than 200 questions, which takes about an hour to complete.

"At the time that we launched in 2000, people were really sceptical that you could bring technology or scientific research to something that had always been attributed in these magical terms to some unknowable quality about why two people connect," Greg Waldorf, eHarmony's chief executive said.

eHarmony to claim that every day on average 118 US couples who met on eHarmony get married--2% of the total number of marriages.

Paula Hall, a relationship psychotherapist at the UK relationship service says: "Compatibility is an essential ingredient in relationship happiness, but some differences are inevitable. How couples manage those differences is the key to long-term success."

But there is not one formula for all couples. Analysis of the data gathered by eHarmony shows that across cultures couples value very different things.

For instance, Britons are the least likely to complain if modern life leaves their partners too tired for sex. Australians are less worried by their spouse being less affectionate and Americans argue more.

Happily married people in the UK tend to agree more on how to make major decisions, how family finances are handled, the division of household tasks, and how to deal with parents and in-laws. Compared to the US and Australia, UK couples are the least likely to be worried if their partner is regularly too tired for sex.

In the US, couples put more focus on the interpersonal facets of their relationships, reporting that they laugh together, exchange ideas, kiss, and confide in each other more often. However, they also have more arguments and are more likely to report that their partners annoy them.

In Australia, couples put a lot of stock in working on projects together, and it is the country where couples are least likely to be concerned that their spouse doesn't show enough love and affection.

Couples in the US, the UK and Australia experience a dip in marital satisfaction around the birth of their first child, which Mr Waldorf attributes to a period of adjustment to the change in the relationship. Chinese couples, by contrast, actually experience a rise in satisfaction, which Mr Waldorf suggests is due to a stronger immediate family support network.

人们常说异性相吸，但是调查显示，一时擦出的火花很快就会消退，并不能带来长久而快乐的婚姻生活。

为了探寻幸福婚姻的秘诀，牛津互联网研究所调查了1,000对夫妻的生活习惯。

这次的调查是为eHarmony网络婚姻介绍公司进行的。

参与调查的人需要登录网站，填写一份超过200道问题的综合问卷，耗时大约1个小时。

eHarmony公司首席执行官格勒格·沃尔多夫说："当我们2000年创办的时候，很多人对我们用科技或科研的办法寻找让两个人结合在一起的秘诀表示怀疑。"

eHarmony公司号称，每天在美国结婚的新人中有118对是在eHarmony网站上结识的，占结婚总数的2%。

英国人际关系服务公司的心理师保拉·霍尔说："和谐是幸福关系的要素，但分歧是不可避免的。夫妻双方如何对待分歧是保证长久关系的关键。"

没有一个规则适用于所有的夫妻。eHarmony的调查数据发现，不同文化背景的夫妻所看重的方面不尽相同。

举例来说，英国夫妻不太会介意另一半因疲劳而拒绝性生活；澳大利亚夫妻不太会介意另一半对自己关爱不够；而美国夫妻则更容易争执。

婚姻幸福的英国夫妻在重大决定上通常会达成一致，比如在家庭经济、家务分工、和对待自己和对方父母等方面。同美国和澳大利亚夫妻相比，英国夫妇似乎不会怎么介意另一方定期以劳累为由拒绝性生活。

美国夫妻更注重彼此间关系的各个层面，比如，双方更愿意互相开玩笑、交流思想、亲吻和信任彼此。然而，他们之间也更容易发生争执，也更可能惹恼彼此。

澳大利亚夫妇更喜欢共同完成一些事情。如果对方对自己表示的关切和爱意不够，澳大利亚人的感知度是最低的。

对美国、英国和澳大利亚的夫妻来说，随着第一个孩子的诞生，婚姻关系就会出现下滑，沃尔多夫认为此时的关系需要经过一段时间的调整。而中国夫妻则相反，有了孩子后，双方关系会更加亲密。沃尔多夫认为这是由于中国有更加紧密的家庭关系。
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