Never Be The Same Again

By: Babydoll


Nowadays people just take a relationship or an affair as an instant need. People come and go. People meet and miss. I dunno how many good men I've missed in the past for different reasons, good or bad reasons, somehow, I've lost lots good oppotunities for being wit' some good persons. Sometimes, I believe, someone who I've been wit' might feel the same. For losing a relationship, or an emotion affair, somehow, no matter how many reasons there are, the ones who are involved might still think of each other sometimes, or maybe once a while after the whole thing is over. We might feel sorry, we might feel guilty, or we might just wonder what s/he's doing now...

A few days ago, while I was walking on the street in this suburb, I was wondering what my very first love, my exbf in High, was doing here, since he actually had some business running in this particular area. it had been almost 10 years after we broke up, though we met each other again last year. We went out for dinner and coffee several times, however, it didn't turn out that well. He wanted to back up to me. He gave all the explainations for why he broke up wit' me 10 years ago and how bad he felt. I listened but laughed. It would never be the same again. I remember that was the first time my heart got broken. I remember he left me going abroad without a word, and played an ugly scene of cheating on me. I remember how hurt I was when I was 17, holding my broken heart and left to Switzerland on my own. All memories came back to me that time. It would never be the same. I knew that that was my purple love, but I knew it had gone and would never come back again. Even here was the same man, I still walked away. However, I wondered about how he was doing a few days ago, as his silhouette had never been away, though sometimes it's just dormant.

I was in the elevator today, after the lunch break with my fiance, who loves me as much as how I love him. It was pretty crowded in the elevator, I hardly could step in and take a breath. You know how bad people smell in the elevator. I hate crowdedelevator! But all of sudden, someone patted my shoulder. WHAT! I was a little bugged by the crowded. I looked back, and there was him, my purple love, the very one I was thinking of a few days ago. Oh, what a surprise! I smiled for I had to. We walked out of the building together and stook in the hall for a little chat.

"how are you doing recently?" He asked.
"Pretty good! Just came back to town!" I said, I must sound really easy and chilled.
"Back from...??" He looked at me, god I hate the way he looked at me! That self-righteous androcentrism looking!
"Back from Zurich! I just came back, and probably a few weeks later, I would go again!" I answered, threw him back da attitude I've always got to the androcentrism wannabes.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Oh, I've got a school here, a language training centre." I smiled, for me actually had something to present in front of him, instead of a total loser a few years ago.
"I've heard there 's a school there, No wonder!" He had to stare at me all around again. " I've got 2 offices on 7th floor!" Said him.
"Oh, by the way, I am married!" Said me, I dunno why I said that, well, in the matter of a fact, I am actually getting married! But anyways, I used the preterite to express a future tense fact. I just wanted to upset him for my own good.
"Really? That was fast! Where is he from?" He smiled.
"America! How about you? Any news?" I asked back.
"Hmm... was seeing a gal, never mind." he prevaricated. Lemme guess, uh, I really couldn't think of how successful he thought he was by playing wit' gals around. To be honest, he's neither handsome nor super rich, but a fully wannabe loser!
"What's your number?" He brought up his cellphone.
"Oh, well, I lost my cellphone recently, so maybe my fix number would be okay. ########." I told him my fix number, for maybe he would call me another time for recalling how much he loved me when we were together... MAH ASS!!
"When would you be home?" He kept asking. How shameless, I was thinking! God, I hate him, for him, to be the first one, who broke my heart!!
"I am home most of the time!" Said me. " Mind to have a cup of coffee together?" I invited, for I already knew he aint gonna have it.
"No, I am gonna hurry to the factory, Got some serious things to deal wit' there." Said him. I suppose he didn't have the balls to sit down and have a talk, at least not that moment. An Apple of Sodom!
"Mind to take a ride wit' me?" I kept bitchin' him, oh, sweet revenge!
"No, thx!" He couldn't hide his discomfiture any more.
"Then see you next time!" I smiled, "Bye!" I walked away, without a looking back, without any scruple. I was happy that I could walk away from him and the stories before already!

It would never be the same again, for the ones we have missed in the past, for the ones we've loved but never lasted, for the ones we've hurt but never appologized! It would never be the same again, for the heart that has been broken, for the trust could never build up again! However, life goes on, we all live on. Just when the memories start to recall certain past moments, maybe we would break down and cry, we might feel upset, for things could never be the same again!
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