深圳大学 赖小琪

深大清晨的阳光，总是那么的醉人。走在林荫大道上，带着露水的清风徐徐吹来，吹走了夏日的燥热，走醒了昨夜的迷梦，人仿佛也清醒多了。

The sunshine of morn in Shenzhen University is always so fascinating. Walking along the broad avenue lined with tall trees on campus, I feel refreshed from the dream last night by the touching of fresh cool breeze mixed with slight dew, which blows away the torridity of summer.

经常忙忙碌碌的生活，等深夜关上电脑躺在床上依然伸着懒腰时，回想一天的活动，也不知道自己究竟干了些什么，一种空虚感突然来袭，让人无处逃离。

I get used to living busily, but after turning off the computer and lying on bed, I can barely think of something that does great favor to my life among all-day activities. Then, a sense of empty strikes my soul, leaving me nowhere to hide.

是的，我在逃离，逃离某种东西，那是一种在我人生中我唯一不想面对的东西。逃离的方法就是不要让自己有静下来的机会。

Yes, I am hiding from something, the only thing I am reluctant to confront in my life. the way to hide is to leave no chance for myself to calm and think of it.

我不想去想，我只想做回曾经的我，这就够了。想想一年来的际遇，不知是幸运还是不幸。有些东西的好坏本来就无法定义。对有些人来讲，它可能是救命良药，而对另一些人来讲，可能是致命的毒药。我是不是在饮鸠止渴？我也不清楚，或许是吧，因为至少我觉得我开始中毒了。

I do not want to think of it. All I desire to do is to be the one I used to be. That is enough. Pondering over the experiences during the past one year, I have the faintest idea whether I have been fortunate or not. Essentially speaking, there are always something that it is hard for us to define. As a saying goes, one man's meat might be another man's poison. So am I drinking the poison to kill my thirsty? I do not know. Maybe it is so, because at least I am feeling like being penetrated by the poison.

昨晚经过一栋学生宿舍，突然听到久违的一首卓依婷唱的《童年》，忍不住驻足聆听。往事如海浪一般在我的脑海里翻滚，我感到了心潮澎湃。我想起了童年的我，想起了以前快乐的日子，想起了自己幼稚的面庞。

Last night when I passed a students' dorm, a long-time-no-touch song named childhood sung by Zhuo Yiting flied to my ears, stopping my pace and retaining my attention. In a flash, waves of past memories were flooding over my mind and my heart was like a drum being beaten wildly. I thought of my childhood, the past happy days as well as my once-childish face.

然而再从镜中看看现在的我，一切都变得深沉了许多。光阴荏苒，一晃就是上十年了。十年里的风风雨雨，让曾经年少无知的我现在逐渐成熟圆臻。很多曾经的梦想和希冀都在现实的激流中沉淀，留下的是昨日梦幻缥缈的美丽。

Whereas, when I face the mirror and the present self, everything becomes mature on my face. Time has flied by with ten years. Ten years of wind and storms has rendered an innocent boy walk towards maturity and roundness. Many dreams and expectations have fallen to the bottom of the flowing river of reality, only leaving a loop of beauty shining mistily.

我渴望做回从前的我，可是心智已经改变，所以是不可能的了。或许我应该珍惜现在的状态，因为可能十年以后我又想做回现在的样子，到时也不可能了，何不现在好好珍惜呢？有一句话说得好：痛并快乐着。纵然现在再伤心再痛苦，也是一种美丽。熟谙生活的人，不是懂得享受快乐的人，而是懂得品尝痛苦的人。

I am eager to be the one I used to be, but since my mind has changed radically, it is out of the question now. Maybe I am supposed to cherish my present moment, for probably ten years later, I will want to be the one I am now. But at that time, it will be impossible again. Therefore, why not treasure the present moment? There is a good saying that misery can be accompanied with happiness. Painful as we are now, it is kind of beauty. The one who has a good command of life is not the one who knows to enjoy happiness, but the one who knows to taste and enjoy the pain.

很喜欢夜晚，尤其是深夜的时候，当舍友都睡了，而我依然在电脑前忙碌。当把一天的工作完成时，揉揉酸痛的双眼，打开熟悉的博客，发现它的主人很久没有更新了，心里会有一种落寞。

I am loving evening, especially mid-night from the bottom of my heart, a time when all of my roommates have hit the sack but I am still busy before my computer. After finishing all the assignments, I tend to massage my eyes and log onto the blog I am familiar with, only to find that it has not been renewed for a long time. My heart will be filled with a sense of upset.

再打开QQ，看着黑暗的头像，心雨淅沥。关了电脑望着手机闪亮的屏幕，我会沉浸在很多回忆中。关了手机，喝一小杯开水，拖着疲惫的身子躺在床上，我沉沉的睡去，却不断做着相同的梦，虽然我知道这个梦永远也不会实现。这个星期我已经习惯了这种状态，越来越变得无所谓了。是你的终究是你的，不是你的强求也没有用。要是有些东西你早就知道不是你的，就得断然放弃，越拖到后面只会让自己越辛苦。

Then I log onto my QQ, only to spot a dim picture that leaves my heart raining nonstop. Turning off the computer, I keep staring at the shining screen of my phone, lost in lots of memories. Turning off the phone, I will drink a cup of water and drag my weary body to the bed, falling into sleep deeply. I am dreaming the same dream constantly, though I know clearly it will never come true. I have accustomed myself to this state during the week, becoming less and less conscious about it. It will belong to you ultimately if it really does, otherwise your enforcement is unavailing. If you know in the beginning something does not belong to you, then you need to let it go decisively, or you may just torture yourself in the future.
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