My First and My Last第一次与最后一次
When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.
乔治35岁时买了架小型飞机，并开始学习驾驶。不久，他就能很娴熟地驾机做各种各样的特技飞行了。
George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go."
乔治有个朋友名叫马克。一天，乔治主动邀请马克乘他的飞机上天兜一圈。马克心想，"我乘大客机飞行过好几次，还从来没有乘过小飞机，我不妨试一试。"
They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.
升空后，乔治飞了有半个小时，在空中做了各种各样的飞行特技。
When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane."
后来他们着陆了。马克很高兴能够安全返回地面。他用颤抖的声音对他的朋友说："乔治，非常感谢你让我乘小飞机做了两次飞行。"
Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?"
乔治非常吃惊地问："两次飞行？"
"Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark.
"是的，我的第一次和最后一次。"马克答道。
First Flight第一次坐飞机
Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.
约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机，他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时，约翰逊先生非常担心，不敢接受。不过，由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的，约翰逊先生终于被说服了，登上了飞机。
His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.
他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落，所以他吓得紧闭双眼。
After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?"
过了一两分钟，他睁开双眼朝窗外望去，接着对朋友说道："看下面那些人，他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小，是不是？"
"Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground." "那些就是蚂蚁，"他的朋友答道，"我们还在地面上。"
A Nail Or A Fly?钉子还是苍蝇？
An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.
一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。
So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.
于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止。
I'll See to the Rest其余的事由我负责
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"快点，小姐!"他喊道："请把门关上。"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
"噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。"她回答道。
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
"请把门关上好了，"列车员说："其余的事由我负责。"
New Discovery新发现
A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.
一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼，看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后关上，有几个灯在闪亮。一会儿，门开了，电梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。
Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"
乡下人惊奇地眨着眼睛，慢吞吞地说："我应该把我的老婆带来!"
关键字:笑话幽默
生词表:
When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.
乔治35岁时买了架小型飞机，并开始学习驾驶。不久，他就能很娴熟地驾机做各种各样的特技飞行了。
George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go."
乔治有个朋友名叫马克。一天，乔治主动邀请马克乘他的飞机上天兜一圈。马克心想，"我乘大客机飞行过好几次，还从来没有乘过小飞机，我不妨试一试。"
They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.
升空后，乔治飞了有半个小时，在空中做了各种各样的飞行特技。
When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane."
后来他们着陆了。马克很高兴能够安全返回地面。他用颤抖的声音对他的朋友说："乔治，非常感谢你让我乘小飞机做了两次飞行。"
Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?"
乔治非常吃惊地问："两次飞行？"
"Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark.
"是的，我的第一次和最后一次。"马克答道。
First Flight第一次坐飞机
Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.
约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机，他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时，约翰逊先生非常担心，不敢接受。不过，由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的，约翰逊先生终于被说服了，登上了飞机。
His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.
他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落，所以他吓得紧闭双眼。
After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?"
过了一两分钟，他睁开双眼朝窗外望去，接着对朋友说道："看下面那些人，他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小，是不是？"
"Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground." "那些就是蚂蚁，"他的朋友答道，"我们还在地面上。"
A Nail Or A Fly?钉子还是苍蝇？
An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.
一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。
So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.
于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止。
I'll See to the Rest其余的事由我负责
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"快点，小姐!"他喊道："请把门关上。"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
"噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。"她回答道。
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
"请把门关上好了，"列车员说："其余的事由我负责。"
New Discovery新发现
A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.
一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼，看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后关上，有几个灯在闪亮。一会儿，门开了，电梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。
Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"
乡下人惊奇地眨着眼睛，慢吞吞地说："我应该把我的老婆带来!"
关键字:笑话幽默
生词表:
文章标签:幽默
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