我们为什么不道歉？ 中国有一句古话："人非圣贤，孰能无过？"是说我们每一个人都免不了会犯错，并因此会伤害到别人。但其实下面还有一句更为重要的话——"过而能改，善莫大焉"，意思是犯了错误而能改正，没有比这更好的了。我们很多人常常只记住了前面那句而忘记了后面这句，不愿意改正错误，更不愿意道歉。 那么，我们为什么不向受到伤害的人道歉呢？可能主要有三种情况。第一种情况，可能是觉得自己没有做错什么，有人被我们的言行所伤害完全是他们自己的问题。但是，如果我们"对的"言行伤害到了别人，那么这些言行在他们眼里就是"错的"。现实中没有绝对的"对"与"错"。所以，如果有人感到被我们所伤害了，不管我们是有心的还是无意的，也不管我们自己是觉得愧疚还是无辜，我们都应该道歉。 第二种情况是因为惭愧而不愿道歉。认为确实是自己做错了，可能我们对自己的所作所为都感到羞愧甚至不齿，以至于不想去面对它，希望时间来抚平一切，或者希望其中有一方能够淡忘。但如果不去面对，我们不但不会淡忘，而且会在羞愧中度过一生。 还有一种情况是认为道歉是一种失败或软弱的表现。这种想法本身就是一种软弱。为我们所犯下的错误道歉是一种勇气的象征，而逃避才是真正的软弱。 让我们都静静地想一想，还有什么人需要我们真诚地说一句："对不起！" Why is it that we do not we apologize?
In China, an ancient saying goes, "People are not sages, we are not free from err." What this means is that each of us cannot avoid making mistakes, and as a result, hurt other people. Actually, there is a another phrase that follows it —— "knowing our mistake and correcting it, no other virtuesurpass this." This is to say that there is nothing better than setting ourselves right after making a mistake. Oftentimes, we are not willing to correct ourselves and even more so, we are not willing to apologize for our mistakes, so we only remember the first phrase, and (conveniently) forget about the second phrase.
In any case, why is it then that we do not apologize to the people we have hurt? Three main scenarios are possible. The first is that perhaps we don't feel that we have done anything wrong. Whatever grievances the other party feels as a result of our words and actions is entirely their own problem. However, what is "right" to us may be "wrong" to the person that we had hurt. In reality, there is no "right" and "wrong" in absolute terms. Therefore, if someone feels that we have wronged them, regardless of whether it was intentional or accidental, regardless of whether we are guilty or otherwise, it is only right that we offer them an apology.
The second scenario is that we are not willing to apologize because we are ashamed. Knowing that indeed, we had made a mistake, and perhaps we feel really ashamed of our conduct and actions, so much so to feel it despicable, and to the extent that we don't want to face it, hoping that in time, things will quiet down by itself, or perhaps we hope that one of the parties involved will eventually forget about it. However, if we do not face it, there is no chance of forgetting about it, and what is more, we have to spend the rest of our lives feeling ashamed of what we had done.
There is yet another scenario, where apologies are regarded as a sign of defeat, or weakness. Such mentality in itself is a weakness. Apologizing for our mistake is a sign of bravery, whereas avoiding it is true weakness.
Let us quietly think for a moment, is there anyone to whom we owe an apology?
-- atchooo@
In China, an ancient saying goes, "People are not sages, we are not free from err." What this means is that each of us cannot avoid making mistakes, and as a result, hurt other people. Actually, there is a another sentence that follows it —— "knowing our mistake and correcting it, no other virtuesurpass this." This is to say that there is nothing better than setting ourselves right after making a mistake. Oftentimes, we are not willing to correct ourselves and even more so, we are not willing to apologize for our mistakes, so we only remember the first sentence, and (conveniently) forget about the second sentence.
In any case, why is it then that we do not apologize to the people we have hurt? Three main scenarios are possible. The first is that perhaps we don't feel that we have done anything wrong. Whatever grievances the other party feels as a result of our words and actions is entirely their own problem. However, what is "right" to us may be "wrong" to the person that we had hurt. In reality, there is no "right" and "wrong" in absolute terms. Therefore, if someone feels that we have wronged them, regardless of whether it was intentional or accidental, regardless of whether we are guilty or otherwise, it is only right that we offer them an apology.
The second scenario is that we are not willing to apologize because we feel ashamed. Knowing that indeed, we had made a mistake, and perhaps we feel really ashamed of our conduct and actions, so much so to feel it despicable, and to the extent that we don't want to face it, hoping that in time, things will quiet down by itself, or perhaps we hope that one of the parties involved will eventually forget about it. However, if we do not face it, there is no chance of forgetting about it, and what is more, we have to spend the rest of our lives feeling ashamed of what we had done.
There is yet another scenario, where apologies are regarded as a sign of defeat, or weakness. Such mentality in itself is a weakness. Apologizing for our mistake is a sign of bravery, whereas avoiding it is truly a weakness.
Let us quietly think for a moment, is there anyone to whom we owe an apology?
In China, an ancient saying goes, "People are not sages, we are not free from err." What this means is that each of us cannot avoid making mistakes, and as a result, hurt other people. Actually, there is a another phrase that follows it —— "knowing our mistake and correcting it, no other virtuesurpass this." This is to say that there is nothing better than setting ourselves right after making a mistake. Oftentimes, we are not willing to correct ourselves and even more so, we are not willing to apologize for our mistakes, so we only remember the first phrase, and (conveniently) forget about the second phrase.
In any case, why is it then that we do not apologize to the people we have hurt? Three main scenarios are possible. The first is that perhaps we don't feel that we have done anything wrong. Whatever grievances the other party feels as a result of our words and actions is entirely their own problem. However, what is "right" to us may be "wrong" to the person that we had hurt. In reality, there is no "right" and "wrong" in absolute terms. Therefore, if someone feels that we have wronged them, regardless of whether it was intentional or accidental, regardless of whether we are guilty or otherwise, it is only right that we offer them an apology.
The second scenario is that we are not willing to apologize because we are ashamed. Knowing that indeed, we had made a mistake, and perhaps we feel really ashamed of our conduct and actions, so much so to feel it despicable, and to the extent that we don't want to face it, hoping that in time, things will quiet down by itself, or perhaps we hope that one of the parties involved will eventually forget about it. However, if we do not face it, there is no chance of forgetting about it, and what is more, we have to spend the rest of our lives feeling ashamed of what we had done.
There is yet another scenario, where apologies are regarded as a sign of defeat, or weakness. Such mentality in itself is a weakness. Apologizing for our mistake is a sign of bravery, whereas avoiding it is true weakness.
Let us quietly think for a moment, is there anyone to whom we owe an apology?
-- atchooo@
Lesson Summary:
Everyone makes their fair share of mistakes, if these mistakes hurt others' feelings, then please don't be too mean to offer your apologies, be brave and say, "I'm sorry." Lesson Content: Why is it that we do not we apologize?In China, an ancient saying goes, "People are not sages, we are not free from err." What this means is that each of us cannot avoid making mistakes, and as a result, hurt other people. Actually, there is a another sentence that follows it —— "knowing our mistake and correcting it, no other virtuesurpass this." This is to say that there is nothing better than setting ourselves right after making a mistake. Oftentimes, we are not willing to correct ourselves and even more so, we are not willing to apologize for our mistakes, so we only remember the first sentence, and (conveniently) forget about the second sentence.
In any case, why is it then that we do not apologize to the people we have hurt? Three main scenarios are possible. The first is that perhaps we don't feel that we have done anything wrong. Whatever grievances the other party feels as a result of our words and actions is entirely their own problem. However, what is "right" to us may be "wrong" to the person that we had hurt. In reality, there is no "right" and "wrong" in absolute terms. Therefore, if someone feels that we have wronged them, regardless of whether it was intentional or accidental, regardless of whether we are guilty or otherwise, it is only right that we offer them an apology.
The second scenario is that we are not willing to apologize because we feel ashamed. Knowing that indeed, we had made a mistake, and perhaps we feel really ashamed of our conduct and actions, so much so to feel it despicable, and to the extent that we don't want to face it, hoping that in time, things will quiet down by itself, or perhaps we hope that one of the parties involved will eventually forget about it. However, if we do not face it, there is no chance of forgetting about it, and what is more, we have to spend the rest of our lives feeling ashamed of what we had done.
There is yet another scenario, where apologies are regarded as a sign of defeat, or weakness. Such mentality in itself is a weakness. Apologizing for our mistake is a sign of bravery, whereas avoiding it is truly a weakness.
Let us quietly think for a moment, is there anyone to whom we owe an apology?
- actually [´æktʃuəli]
ad.事实上；实际上 (初中英语单词) - phrase [freiz] n.短语；词组；措词 (初中英语单词)
- virtue [´və:tʃu:] n.美德；贞操；长处 (初中英语单词)
- willing [´wiliŋ] a.情愿的，乐意的 (初中英语单词)
- whatever [wɔt´evə] pron.&a.无论什么 (初中英语单词)
- reality [ri´æliti] n.现实(性)；真实；逼真 (初中英语单词)
- absolute [´æbsəlu:t] a.绝对的 n.绝对 (初中英语单词)
- therefore [´ðeəfɔ:] ad.&conj.因此；所以 (初中英语单词)
- guilty [´gilti] a.有罪的；心虚的 (初中英语单词)
- otherwise [´ʌðəwaiz] ad.另外 conj.否则 (初中英语单词)
- ashamed [ə´ʃeimd] a.惭愧；不好意思 (初中英语单词)
- knowing [´nəuiŋ] a.会意的，心照不宣的 (初中英语单词)
- extent [ik´stent] n.长度；程度；范围 (初中英语单词)
- weakness [´wi:knis] n.虚弱；弱点，缺点 (初中英语单词)
- whereas [weər´æz] conj.鉴于；因此；而 (初中英语单词)
- everyone [´evriwʌn] pron.=everybody 每人 (初中英语单词)
- sentence [´sentəns] n.判决 vt.宣判；处刑 (初中英语单词)
- saying [´seiŋ, ´sei-iŋ] n.言语；言论；格言 (高中英语单词)
- surpass [sə´pɑ:s] vt.超过，胜过 (高中英语单词)
- regardless [ri´gɑ:dləs] a.不留心的；不关心的 (高中英语单词)
- setting [´setiŋ] n.安装；排字；布景 (英语四级单词)
- accidental [,æksi´dentl] a.偶然的；附属的 (英语四级单词)
- eventually [i´ventʃuəli] ad.最后，终于 (英语四级单词)
- bravery [´breivəri] n.勇敢，大胆，刚毅 (英语四级单词)
- summary [´sʌməri] a.&n.摘要(的) (英语四级单词)
- apology [ə´pɔlədʒi] n.道歉(的话)；辩解 (英语四级单词)
- oftentimes [´ɔ:fəntaimz] ad.屡次，常常 (英语六级单词)
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