无法正常地"以貌取人"实际上是个相当严重的问题，在没有感性信息的情况下，你就没有办法进入下一步：对他人进行分类。还记得曾经有段时间，所有来中国的老外统统都被尊称为外宾，哪怕这个人在自己的国家只是个无业游民。

       给他人贴种类标签的行为同样不高尚但很实用，比如：把人分为情况基本清楚的和需要进一步查明的、对自己有用的和对自己没用的、需要热情对待的和仅仅需要礼貌对待的、可以进一步交往的和需要敬而远之的、可以放心相处的和需要小心警惕的等等。

        谁是"好人"，谁是"坏人"，这是与人打交道的首要问题；就像人的免疫系统，以貌取人然后对人进行分类判断的最终目的是：把"好人"留下来，把"坏人"排除掉；在这两个目标当中，"排除坏人"的任务更重要一些，因为：少交往一个"好人"你丧失的只是机会，而交往了一个"坏人"你获得的却是无限的风险。

       这就是为什么以貌取人就是冤枉了一些"心灵美"的同志也无伤大雅，免疫系统的工作原则本来就是："宁可错杀一千，也不放过一个"；而一旦丧失了这种免疫能力，你就相当于患上了国际交往的"艾滋病"。

       这种病的主要症状就是："来的都是客"，表现为：对老外不分青红皂白地热情而且很过分。关于这个问题，国内的愤青们经常耿耿于怀，但由于他们只知其然不知其所以然，因此，除了道德谴责之外他们提不出任何建设性的意见。

       其实，病因很简单：当分辨能力丧失的时候，分辨的勇气也就同时消失了。没勇气的人自然要对别人热情，而且，是对所有的人都热情。从技术的角度来说，这也有情可原，因为：以貌取人本来是个很私密的事情，只能在自己的内心悄悄地进行；而一旦没了这个能力，你却不能当面问老外，说："对不起，我暂时没有貌相你的能力，能不能麻烦你告诉我，你是好人还是坏人？"

       有病不可怕，可怕的是不知道自己有病，反而把病症当荣耀。比如：所有那些过分热情的同志都会说自己"好客"，而不是反思：对本国人，尤其是对本国的"坏人"，你会这么好客吗？

       所以说，能够意识到"来的都是客"可能是一种病态反应，是国际化当中很重要的一种技能。在国内，我曾经给一些需要到国外参加展会的国际销售人员进行过培训，关于这个问题，我告诫他们：到了展会上，千万别见了一个老外就当客户，然后就热情接待，结果，谈了半天才发现：这个人其实是个卖机票的。

It is a rather serious problem that one cannot judge a person from appearance. Without sensible information, it is difficult for you to get into the next step: to classify other people. I can still remember during a certain period before, all the foreigners came to China were called as foreign guests, even though this person was only a loser at his motherland.
To label other people is not noble, but practical. For example, to classify people into people who I basically know, people who I need to know more, people who are useful to me, people who are not useful to me, people who I need to care about, people who I just need to treat politely, people who I can make friends with, people who I should keep distance from, people with whom I must be careful and so on.
Who is a good guy and who is a bad guy is an essential problem in personal contacts. Just like the immune system in human bodies, the purposes of judging a person from appearance at first and then classifying them are to keep "good guys" as friends, and to keep "bad guys" at distance. To keep "bad guys" at distance is more important in the two purposes. If you missed the chance to make friends with "a good guy", you just lose opportunities. But if you make friends with "a bad guy", what you get are unlimited risks.
When we judge a person from appearance, we might treat some people unjustly who are actually nice persons. It is actually not that bad. The working principle of immune system is to "rather kill one thousand wrong, but not to miss one". Once you lose this immune ability, you are equal to have aids of international communication.
The main symptom of this disease is to "treat everyone as a guest." One will be friendly to all foreigners and sometimes even too friendly. Some young cynics often feel uncomfortable about it. Since they only know the phenomena, but don't know why, they cannot put forward any constructional suggestions except moral accusations.
In fact, the cause of this disease is simple. When people lose the ability to judge, he will also lose the courage to judge. A person without courage will surely be friendly to other people and to everyone. Technically, it is also justified. To judge a person from appearance was actually a very private thing, what can only be done in one's mind? When one loses this ability, one cannot ask a foreigner, "I am sorry. I can not tell what kind person you are from appearance. Can you tell me whether you are a good guy or a bad guy?
It is nothing horrible to have a disease. The horrible thing is that one doesn't know that he or she is ill and is proud of this illness. For example, all the people who are overfriendly will say that they are just hospitable, but not reflect on themselves: to their own fellowmen, especially to bad guys in their motherland, will they still be so hospitable?
Therefore, the ability to realize that "all people come are guests" might be an ill reaction is an important skill in internationalization. In China, I have given trainings to some salesmen who are going to attend exhibitions abroad. As to this question, I warned them that they should not take every foreigner in the exhibition as a customer and give a warm reception. Sometimes after a long discussion, you might find out that he is only a salesperson for flight tickets.

本文转载自张叶的个人空间，要阅读更多作者文章，请移步作者个人空间http://i.myechinese.com/index.php?s=/space/1253  。

• sensible [´sensəbəl]   a.感觉得到的   (初中英语单词)
• essential [i´senʃəl]   a.必需的 n.要素，要点   (初中英语单词)
• system [´sistəm]   n.系统，体系，制度   (初中英语单词)
• actually [´æktʃuəli]   ad.事实上；实际上   (初中英语单词)
• working [´wə:kiŋ]   a.工人的；劳动的   (初中英语单词)
• ability [ə´biliti]   n.(办事)能力；才干   (初中英语单词)
• international [,intə´næʃənəl]   a.国际的，世界的   (初中英语单词)
• communication [kə,mju:ni´keiʃən]   n.通信；通讯联系   (初中英语单词)
• everyone [´evriwʌn]   pron.=everybody 每人   (初中英语单词)
• foreigner [´fɔrinə]   n.外国人   (初中英语单词)
• horrible [´hɔrəbəl]   a.可怕的；恐怖的   (初中英语单词)
• illness [´ilnis]   n.生病，不健康，疾病   (初中英语单词)
• reflect [ri´flekt]   v.反射；反响；表达   (初中英语单词)
• therefore [´ðeəfɔ:]   ad.&conj.因此；所以   (初中英语单词)
• reaction [ri´ækʃən]   n.反应(力)   (初中英语单词)
• abroad [ə´brɔ:d]   ad.海外；到处；广泛   (初中英语单词)
• customer [´kʌstəmə]   n.顾客，买主，主顾   (初中英语单词)
• discussion [di´skʌʃən]   n.讨论；辩论   (初中英语单词)
• flight [flait]   n.逃走；飞行；班机   (初中英语单词)
• politely [pə´laitli]   ad.温和地；文雅地   (高中英语单词)
• symptom [´simptəm]   n.症状，症候   (高中英语单词)
• uncomfortable [ʌn´kʌmftəbəl]   a.不舒服的，不自在的   (高中英语单词)
• exhibition [eksi´biʃ(ə)n]   n.展览；显示；表演   (高中英语单词)
• reception [ri´sepʃən]   n.接待；欢迎；招待会   (高中英语单词)
• classify [´klæsifai]   vt.把...分类(归类)   (英语四级单词)
• unlimited [ʌn´limitid]   a.无限的；过渡的   (英语四级单词)
• hospitable [´hɔspitəbəl]   a.好客的；招待周到的   (英语四级单词)
• phenomena [fi´nɔminə]   phenomenon的复数   (英语六级单词)