"来的都是客"这个原则的可怕之处在于：当你对"病毒"也采取欢迎态度的时候，你被感染的风险就大大地增加了。刚出国或者刚开始与老外打交道的人经常会犯一些很低级的错误，根源就在于此。

        常见的错误有：把一个本来很明显的外国混子当作良师益友并与之交往；或者，把一个本来很明显的外国无能之辈当作人才并委以重任；或者，把一个本来很明显的外国小商贩当作大客户并授予其独家代理权；或者，把一个本来很明显的外国居心叵测之人当作诚实的合作伙伴并一起做生意；等等。

　　与在国内犯错的情况不同，在国外，一个很小的错误就可能造成无法收拾的局面，因为你不像在国内那样拥有很多可以对错误进行弥补的资源。正因为如此，在不具备对老外进行貌相的能力之前，做事情和做决定一定不能急于求成和过于自信，这就像是说：一个病人还是老实点好。

        当然，不是所有的人都有机会修炼对老外进行貌相的能力，另外，就算有机会，在国外陌生的环境中这个过程也是很漫长的。根据我的经验，只有在国外呆上两到三年的时间，你才有可能对老外的一些相对比较简单的情况进行貌相，比如，判断一个老外是体力劳动者还是脑力劳动者。

        那么，是不是说面对不可貌相的老外就不能有所作为呢？其实，办法还是有的，在不"知彼"的情况下，你可以设法将"知己"发挥到极致。具体的做法是，在你无法判断的时候，你可以问自己三个问题："如果是在国内，这个老外相当于那一类人？如果是在国内，他要求做的事情相当于什么事情？如果是在国内，自己又会如何对待这样的人和事？"

        举个例子是这样的：有一次，我们公司来了个老外谈生意，从外表上看，我除了知道此人是个生意人之外，别的就什么也看不出来了。通过谈话我了解到这个人根本就没做过我们这一行，这时，我进行了第一个判断："这相当于一个中国的外行进了我的办公室，而这种人在中国满马路都是。"

        接着，这个老外提出：如果我给他一个低于正常行业水平的价格，他就可以在他们的国家卖出多少多少我们公司的产品云云，这时，我的第二个判断也就出来了："这相当于一个中国的外行跑进我的办公室让我把大虾当萝卜卖。"

        最后，当这个老外等我的答复时，我早已经有了第三个判断："如果你是个中国人的话，我早就把你送精神病院了。"不过，对"外宾"，必要的好客和礼貌还是要有的，于是，我回答说："你先回去吧，等我有了那种价格，我第一个通知你。"

        这里，最重要的是要有平等之心，套用"大话西游"中的句式来说就是：中国人和外国人都是妈生的......；所以，做中国人也要有平等之心；有了平等之心，中国人就不再是中国人，而是国际中国人。

       
The horrible thing about "all people come are guests" is: when you adopt a welcoming attitude to virus, the risk of you getting infected is greatly increased. At the beginning when a person go abroad or get contacts with foreigners, they often make some stupid mistakes. The fundamental reason lies here.
Some often committed mistakes are: One will take an obviousrascal as a good friend and teacher and have close contact with him; one will take an obvious small peddler as an important customer and give him the sole agency; one will take a vicious person as an honest business partner and do business with him and so on.
Different from making a mistake in China, when you are abroad, a slight mistake can cause a disastrous situation, because you don't have as much as you have in China to compensate this mistake. Therefore, before you have the ability to judge a foreigner from appearance, you should not be impatient for success and overconfident. It is like that a sick person should know himself.
Of course, not all the people have the opportunity to train his ability to judge a foreigner by appearance. Besides, even if one has opportunities, it is a long process in the strange environment abroad. According to my experience, only when you live abroad for two or three years, you might be able to make simple judgments from appearance. For example, you will know if a foreigner is manualworker or a mentalworker from his appearance.
Then, does it mean that you can do nothing about a person who you cannot judge from appearance? In fact, there are still some methods. When you don't know about him, you should know about your own to the great extend. The method is: when you cannot make judgment, you should ask yourself three questions, "Which kind of people would this foreigner belong to when he was a Chinese? What things would be similar to the things he requires us to do when we were in China? What should I do when we were in China? "
We can use an example to explain. One day a foreigner came to our company. From appearance, I only knew that he was abusiness man, but nothing more. Through conversation, I got to know that this foreigner had never done business in this industry before. Then I make the first judgment, "It is similar to that a layman comes to my office in China and this kind of people is everywhere."
Then, this foreigner put forward, if I could offer him a price below the normal price in this industry, he would be able to sell how much amount of our products in his country. Then my second judgment came out, "It is similar to that a layman in China comes to my office and asks me to sell shrimps as cabbage."
At last, when this foreigner was waiting for my answer, my third judgment is "If you were a Chinese, I would already send you to a mental hospital." Since he is a "foreign guest," I still need to treat him with certain hospitality and politeness. Then, I said, "You can go back now. When I can offer you that price, I will let you know immediately."
Here, the most important thing is to have a heart of equality. If we use a sentencepatter as in Big Talk on Western Pilgrimage (a famous Chinese film), that is: both Chinese and foreigners were born by their mothers.... Therefore, as a Chinese, we should have a heart of equality. With a heart of equality, Chinese are no long Chinese, but international Chinese.

本文转载自张叶的个人空间，要阅读更多作者文章，请移步作者个人空间http://i.myechinese.com/index.php?s=/space/1253  。

• horrible [´hɔrəbəl]   a.可怕的；恐怖的   (初中英语单词)
• beginning [bi´giniŋ]   n.开始，开端；起源   (初中英语单词)
• abroad [ə´brɔ:d]   ad.海外；到处；广泛   (初中英语单词)
• stupid [´stju:pid]   a.愚蠢的；糊涂的   (初中英语单词)
• fundamental [,fʌndə´mentl]   a.基本的 n.原理   (初中英语单词)
• obvious [´ɔbviəs]   a.明显的；显而易见的   (初中英语单词)
• contact [´kɔntækt]   n.接触；联系 v.联络   (初中英语单词)
• customer [´kʌstəmə]   n.顾客，买主，主顾   (初中英语单词)
• agency [´eidʒənsi]   n.代理商；机构；代理   (初中英语单词)
• partner [´pɑ:tnə]   n.伙伴 v.同....合作   (初中英语单词)
• therefore [´ðeəfɔ:]   ad.&conj.因此；所以   (初中英语单词)
• ability [ə´biliti]   n.(办事)能力；才干   (初中英语单词)
• foreigner [´fɔrinə]   n.外国人   (初中英语单词)
• worker [´wə:kə]   n.工人；劳动者；工作者   (初中英语单词)
• mental [´mentl]   a.精神的；心理的   (初中英语单词)
• normal [´nɔ:məl]   a.正规的 n.正常状态   (初中英语单词)
• amount [ə´maunt]   n.总数；数量 v.合计   (初中英语单词)
• waiting [´weitiŋ]   n.等候；伺候   (初中英语单词)
• sentence [´sentəns]   n.判决 vt.宣判；处刑   (初中英语单词)
• western [´westən]   a.西的；西方的   (初中英语单词)
• international [,intə´næʃənəl]   a.国际的，世界的   (初中英语单词)
• rascal [´rɑ:skəl]   n.流氓   (高中英语单词)
• impatient [im´peiʃənt]   a.不耐烦的，急躁的   (高中英语单词)
• environment [in´vaiərənmənt]   n.郊区；周围；条件   (高中英语单词)
• hospitality [,hɔspi´tæliti]   n.好客，殷勤   (高中英语单词)
• equality [i´kwɔliti]   n.同等，平等   (高中英语单词)
• vicious [´viʃəs]   a.不道德的；刻毒的   (英语四级单词)
• disastrous [di´zɑ:strəs]   a.招致灾祸的；不幸的   (英语四级单词)
• compensate [´kɔmpenseit]   v.赔偿；补偿；酬报   (英语四级单词)
• manual [´mænjuəl]   a.用手(操作)的 n.手册   (英语四级单词)
• layman [´leimən]   n.俗人   (英语四级单词)
• patter [´pætə]   n.行话 v.喋喋不休   (英语四级单词)
• pilgrimage [´pilgrimidʒ]   n.朝圣；远游；人生历程   (英语四级单词)
• politeness [pə´laitnis]   n.礼貌；文雅；温和   (英语六级单词)