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美式婚礼怎么举行-第1页

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While planning her dream wedding, Celeste Aslanyants fell in love with a picturesque manor that serves as a popular ceremony and reception site in Texas. But she soon learned the spot wouldn't work for her fiance's Armenian family, who had made requests she wanted to honor. They hoped a priest would officiate, and that could only happen in a church. They wanted Armenian food and drink, but there were catering restrictions. And the guest list had quickly exceeded the location's capacity.


莱斯特•阿斯拉尼扬茨(Celeste Aslanyants)计划她的梦中婚礼时，爱上了一座风景如画的庄园，那是得克萨斯州一个颇受欢迎的婚礼和宴会举办地。但她很快发现，那里不适合她未婚夫的亚美尼亚裔家人，而她想尊重他们的要求。他们希望由牧师主持婚礼，但这只能在教堂中才能实现。他们想要亚美尼亚食物和饮料，但那里有餐饮方面的限制。而且来宾名单很快就超出了那里的接待能力。



The solution? Have two weddings. Ms. Aslanyants and her husband, Arsen, got married at a traditional Armenian ceremony and reception in September 2011 and then, two weeks later, they had an American wedding at the manor.


解决方法是举办两场婚礼。阿斯拉尼扬茨和她的丈夫阿尔森(Arsen)在2011年9月举行了传统的亚美尼亚式婚礼和宴会，两周后，他们又在庄园举行了美式婚礼。



'I didn't have to please everyone at once,' says Ms. Aslanyants, 28, who lives with her husband north of Dallas.


现年28岁的阿斯拉尼扬茨和她丈夫住在达拉斯(Dallas)北部，她说："我不必一次取悦所有人。"



Whether for religious differences, geographic challenges or differing family expectations, more couples are opting to throw two full weddings, with two ceremonies and two receptions. About 15% of all new U.S. marriages in 2010 were between spouses of different races or ethnicities, more than double the rate in 1980, according to a Pew Research Center report. There are expected to be more than two million weddings in the U.S. in 2013 at an average cost of $26,000 each, according to the Wedding Report, a research firm.


由于宗教差异、地理因素或是家人期望的差异，越来越多的夫妻选择举行两场完整的婚礼，包括两次仪式和两次宴会。根据皮尤研究中心(Pew Research Center)的报告，2010年，所有美国新婚夫妇中，约15%的夫妇双方是不同的族裔，超过1980年水平的两倍。根据研究公司婚礼报告(Wedding Report)的数据，2013年，美国预计将举行超过200万场婚礼，每场婚礼的平均成本为26,000美元。



Planning and executing two weddings often leads to a new set of problems, whether it's deciding whom to invite to which ceremony or fielding demands to know which wedding is the 'real' one.


计划和举行两场婚礼经常会导致一系列新问题，譬如决定邀请谁参加哪场婚礼和回答哪场婚礼才是"真正的"婚礼。



Couples who plan two weddings aren't necessarily big-spending party people looking to double their fun. Often, each family assumes responsibility for one event, including much of the planning and cost, since the intention is usually to alleviate family stress and fulfill wishes from both sides.


计划举行两场婚礼的夫妻不一定是为追求双倍享乐而热衷于豪华婚礼的人。通常，每个家庭负责一场婚礼，包括大部分筹划工作和费用，因为两场婚礼的目的通常就是缓解家庭压力，满足双方的愿望。



But some people inevitably will think a couple is trying to 'milk it' anyway, says Carley Roney, co-founder of TheKnot.com, a wedding media company. To head off those skeptics, she suggests that couples tell guests they are having a 'split' wedding, not two weddings. 'That way you are 'splitting' the excitement,' she says.


但是，婚庆媒体公司TheKnot.com的创始人之一卡莉•罗尼(Carley Roney)说，有些人难免认为新人是为了从婚礼中"榨取好处"。为了打消这种怀疑态度，她建议新人告诉宾客，他们是将婚礼"分开"举行，而不是举行两场婚礼。她说："这样，你就将兴奋感'一分为二'了。"



Couples should articulate a clear reason for having two events, Ms. Roney says. 'You need a distinction that everyone's going to understand.' It helps to use labels, such as 'American wedding' and 'Indian wedding' or 'West Coast wedding' and 'East Coast wedding.'


罗尼说，新人应该清楚说明举行两场婚礼的原因。"你应该让每个人都理解其中的区别。"可以为婚礼打上标签，例如"美式婚礼"和"印度式婚礼"，或者"西海岸婚礼"和"东海岸婚礼"。



When Scott Bean and his wife, Aneta Biesiada, decided on a destinationwedding in Cancun, Mexico, their parents offered to throw a small party in their honor back home in Sudbury, Canada. The event quickly grew into a church ceremony followed by a full reception. 'It was supposed to be a cocktail party,' Mr. Bean, 36, says. 'To my father, in his eyes, a real wedding is a church ceremony,' says Ms. Biesiada, 32.


当视频游戏开发人员斯科特•比恩(Scott Bean)和妻子阿内塔•比耶希奥达(Aneta Biesiada)决定将婚礼举办地选在墨西哥坎昆(Cancun)时，他们的父母提议在他们加拿大萨德伯里(Sudbury)的家乡举办一场小型派对。这个派对迅速扩充为一场带有完整宴会的教堂婚礼。现年36岁的比恩说："他们希望办一场鸡尾酒会。"现年32岁的比耶希奥达说："在我父亲眼中，真正的婚礼应该是教堂婚礼。"



Mr. Bean, a videogame developer, initially resisted the idea. 'It was stressful enough for me to get married once,' he says. But he relented because both sets of parents wanted a chance 'to show off their kids and invite their friends.'


比恩最初反对这个主意。他说："对我来说，结一次婚压力就够大的了。"但他退让了，因为双方父母都希望有机会"显耀他们的孩子，邀请亲朋好友"。



The couple, who live in Los Angeles, asked the 14 members of their wedding party to participate in both events last month, and several traveled to both Cancun and Sudbury. Ms. Biesiada, who works in finance at the same videogame publisher, bought one dress for both ceremonies, as did her bridesmaids. A moment of panic came at the end of the first wedding, in Cancun, Mr. Bean says, when several bridesmaids jumped into a pool in their dresses. A dry cleaner came to the rescue.


这对夫妻住在洛杉矶，上个月举行了这两场婚礼，有14个人受邀两场婚礼都参加了，其中几个人既要赶往坎昆，也要赶往萨德伯里。在同一家视频游戏出版公司财务部工作的比耶希奥达买了一身礼服，两场婚礼上都要穿，她的伴娘也是一样。比恩说，在坎昆的第一场婚礼结束时出了个乱子，当时几位伴娘穿着礼服跳进了游泳池。还好一家干洗店帮他们挽救了局面。



Nearly a third of all engagements take place from Thanksgiving to New Year's, according to Brian Beitler, chief marketing officer at David's Bridal. As a result, the wedding industry refers to the January-to-March period as 'Bridal Christmas,' the busy season when brides kick off their wedding plans by going dress shopping.


婚庆连锁店David's Bridal的首席营销长布赖恩•拜特勒(Brian Beitler)称，近三分之一的人是在感恩节至新年期间订下婚约的。因此，婚庆业称1月至3月这段时期为"婚礼圣诞"，这是新娘选购婚纱、开始筹划婚礼的繁忙季节。



Mr. Beitler says the retailer sees brides who throw two weddings so that their wedding day coincides with a special date that falls in the middle of the week, with a second wedding on a weekend. The chain says this year it is seeing brides interested in a wedding on Tuesday, Nov. 12, for the wedding date 11/12/13.


拜特勒说，有些举行两场婚礼的新娘是这样安排的：她们在一周之中的某个特殊日子举行第一场婚礼，在周末举行第二场婚礼。David's Bridal称，今年新娘们喜欢在11月12日（周二）举行婚礼，这个日期刚好是11/12/13。



Megan McRee and her husband, Jimmy, wanted to get married on Dec. 12, 2012 (12/12/12), but the date fell on a Wednesday, making it tricky for their out-of-town guests. So Ms. McRee, a 22-year-old who lives outside Austin, Texas, scheduled her larger wedding for the following Saturday, Dec. 15, and planned her rehearsal dinner for Dec. 12 -- and turned it into a small, casualwedding for just close family and friends.


家住得克萨斯州奥斯汀(Austin)郊外、现年22岁的梅甘•麦克里(Megan McRee)和她丈夫吉米(Jimmy)想在2012年12月12日结婚，但那天正好是周三，对外地宾客来说很不方便。因此，麦克里将更大型的婚礼安排在12月15日（周六），并计划在12月12日进行婚宴彩排──她把它变为一场只有亲密家人和朋友参加的小型非正式婚礼。



'We wanted to make sure everybody could see us get married, but make sure we got the anniversary we wanted,' Ms. McRee says.


麦克里说："我们希望确保每个人都能见证我们的婚礼，但也要确保结婚纪念日的日子合我们自己的心意。"



Couples with two weddings should anticipate the questions they are likely to hear from a guest or two about which is the 'real' wedding, says TheKnot.com's Ms. Roney. By 'real,' some people may mean the wedding that is legally binding; others mean the one with more religious or cultural significance.


TheKnot.com的罗尼说，举行两场婚礼的新人应该预想到，宾客会提出哪场婚礼才是"真正的"婚礼这个问题。有些人认为，"真正的"婚礼是具有法律约束力的婚礼，也有些人认为，真正的婚礼是更具宗教意义或文化意义的婚礼。



Christie Osborne, 38, and her husband, Dustin, 37, had more than two months between their two weddings in 2009, one in California to accommodate his family on the West Coast and the other in North Carolina for her East Coast family. After the first wedding, where they were legally married, Ms. Osborne updated her Facebook status to 'married.' A few people who hadn't been able to attend the first wedding, including her mother, posted congratulations. 'I got this pain in my gut,' Ms. Osborne, a wedding blogger in Mammoth Lakes, Calif., says. She recalls thinking, 'Are they not going to feel like it's a real wedding because we're married?'


克丽丝蒂•奥斯本(Christie Osborne)是加利福尼亚州猛口湖(Mammoth Lakes)的一名婚礼博客写手，现年38岁，她的丈夫达斯廷(Dustin)37岁，他们在2009年举行的两场婚礼之间隔了两个多月，一场婚礼在加利福尼亚举行，以招待男方在西海岸的家人，另一场婚礼在北卡罗来纳州举行，以招待女方在东海岸的家人。在他们合法结婚的第一场婚礼之后，克丽丝蒂将她的Facebook状态更新为"已婚"。一些没能参加她第一场婚礼的人──包括她母亲──发贴祝贺。克丽丝蒂说："我感到很心痛。"她记得当时自己想："他们是否会因为我们已经结婚了而觉得那不是真正的婚礼？"



Similar concerns arose over the wording of the invitations. Like many brides with two weddings, Ms. Osborne opted to send different invitations for each event. She struggled with the wording of the second set, because she and her husband were already married. 'We didn't want to underscore the fact that they were coming to more of a ceremonial event,' Ms. Osborne said. The couple mulled several options and settled on, 'Please join Christie and Dustin as they celebrate their marriage.'


类似的担忧还出现在邀请函措辞上。和许多举行两场婚礼的新娘一样，克丽丝蒂选择每场婚礼发出不同的邀请函。她很纠结第二场婚礼的措辞，因为她和她丈夫已经结婚了。克丽丝蒂说："我们不想强调他们是来参加第二场婚礼这个事实。"这对夫妻仔细考虑了几种选择并决定这样写："请与克丽丝蒂和达斯廷共庆新婚之喜。"



Couples who have two weddings for cultural reasons have the added challenge of understanding the rituals of another culture. Austin O'Brion, 26, decided before proposing to his wife, Mai, 34, that they would have two weddings, one a banquet following the customs of the Southeast Asian Hmong people and the other a traditional American wedding.


由于文化原因举行两场婚礼的新人还面临着了解另一种文化仪式的挑战。现年26岁的奥斯汀•奥布赖恩(Austin O'Brion)向他妻子、现年34岁的梅(Mai)求婚前就决定要举办两场婚礼，一场是遵循东南亚苗族习俗的婚宴，另一场是传统美式婚礼。



Mr. O'Brion, who works in marketing and lives in St. Paul, Minn., sent an advance email to his family and friends who were attending the Hmong wedding last summer, with a list of questions and answers and an explanation of the blessing of the couple and monetary gifts for the host. 'This blessing process usually takes a long time and you could be sitting in line for about 20 minutes -- just an FYI,' the email read.


奥布赖恩从事市场营销工作，住在明尼苏达州圣保罗(St. Paul)，去年夏天，他事先给参加苗族婚礼的家人和朋友发了一封电子邮件，列出了关于祝福新人和给主人送红包的问答和说明。电子邮件中写道："祝福过程通常需要很长时间，您可能需要坐在那里大约20分钟──仅供参考。"



The O'Brions struggled over the guest list, as many couples with two weddings do, deciding who should be at which wedding. Most guests were invited to only one ceremony, but immediate family and bridal party were invited to both.


正如许多举行两场婚礼的新人那样，奥布赖恩夫妇对宾客名单很头疼，因为他们要决定谁去参加哪场婚礼。多数宾客只受邀参加一场婚礼，但直系亲属和伴娘伴郎会受邀参加两场婚礼。



The O'Brions decided to have both weddings in Minnesota and scheduled them just one week apart, hoping to minimize travel. In between, they also had their bachelor and bachelorette parties.


奥布赖恩夫妇决定两场婚礼都在明尼苏达州举行，之间只隔一周，以尽量减少宾客的旅途奔波之苦。在这中间，他们还将举行未婚男女派对。



If they were to do it all over, both bride and the groom said they would have spaced the two events out with more time between them. 'It was a very stressful few weeks,' Ms. O'Brion says.


他们说，如果他们能重来一次，会将两场婚礼隔开更长时间。梅说："那是非常紧张的几周。"



Elizabeth Holmes

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