I am constantlyreadingthoughtful opinion pieces urging people to turn off their electronic devices and retake control of their lives. Let your email pile up. Deep-six all social media. Turn off your phone. Stop tweeting. Cut off the outside world, get in touch with your inner self, release your mind from all that tension. Just chill.

True, these Don't Worry, Be Happy suggestions are almost always issued by out-of-the-loop baby boomers who do not text, are not on Facebook, hate email and would never dream of owning a smartphone. But just because a baby boomer suggests something doesn't automatically mean it is wrong. And since I am a baby boomer, and since I deeply resent the all-pervasive intrusion of electronic media into my life, I have started to take these suggestions to heart. Last week, my wife and I went to the Connecticut shore for a brief vacation, and before I left I turned off my phone and stuffed my laptop in the closet. For the next four days I would refrain from reading my email, checking my phone messages or eyeballing any incoming texts. (I am not on Facebook, because I dread to find out what my kids are up to in Virginia Beach.) For the next four days, I would seal myself off from the world.

The initial results were fantastic. I enjoyed every second on the beach, which gave me time to clear my head and read four books and wax philosophical about the meaning of life. By the time our sojourn was over, I felt relaxed and refreshed, ready to go home and take on the world. Abstaining from electronic interfacing had eased the tension in my neck, packed up all my cares and woes, turned me into a new man. The Luddites were right: Life was not only possible, but was actually better, without email, smartphones, texts. The whole experience made me realize how foolish I was to succumb to the tyranny of technology.

Then things turned sour. When I got back home Sunday night I found out that the police had been trying to reach me all day Saturday because someone had broken into my home and stolen my car. The thieves stole all my art, my wife's jewelry, two priceless Martin guitars and most of my Los Lobos CDs. It took hours for the cops to get the alarm system turned off because nobody knew the code. The neighbors were really steamed.

That wasn't all. One of my oldest friends emailed from London to say that he was stopping by New York on his way home to Australia but would only be in town Sunday afternoon. I hadn't seen him since 1989. But I wasn't checking my email so I never found out that he was in town till I got home Sunday evening. By that time he was gone. Maybe I'll catch up with him on his next visit in 2035.

My broker left a phone message Thursday morning saying that Apple was going to win its lawsuit over Samsung on Friday, so I could make a killing by going long on Apple and shorting Samsung. Particularly if I tapped into the home-equity loan and leveraged up. But I had to do it right away or miss out on the chance of a lifetime. Unfortunately, I had my phone shut off. My dreams of retiring to Aix-en-Provence are gone. Now I'll have to retire to Aix-en-Poughkeepsie.

Friday afternoon, a local radio station emailed that I had won 16 VIP tickets to see Springsteen in September. Plus backstage passes. But I had to respond within 24 hours. No dice. Running through my remaining texts, phone messages and emails, I found out that I had been asked to appear on 'The Tonight Show' but had to fly out Friday morning, and had been invited to attend a fantasy rock 'n' roll camp hosted by Prince, Jimmy Page and Eric Clapton, but needed to confirm my attendance within 12 hours.

Last but not least, Prince Harry texted over the weekend to invite me and my wife to a party in Manhattan. Somehow, the royal family found out that my wife was a British C.P.A., and Prince Harry was having a costume party where everybody had to dress up as a British expat C.P.A. Pippa was going to be there, too, as she had once considered a career in accountancy. But I wasn't checking texts or emails or phone messages while I was on vacation, because I was trying to relax, unwind, get in touch with my inner self. Now I am in touch with my inner self. And my inner self is an idiot.

Joe Queenan

• constantly [´kɔnstəntli]   ad.经常地；不断地   (初中英语单词)
• reading [´ri:diŋ]   n.(阅)读；朗读；读物   (初中英语单词)
• release [ri´li:s]   vt&n.释放；放松；赦免   (初中英语单词)
• vacation [və´keiʃən, vei´keiʃən]   n.假期；休庭期；腾空   (初中英语单词)
• closet [´klɔzit]   n.橱；私室；盥洗室   (初中英语单词)
• virginia [və´dʒinjə]   n.佛吉尼亚(州)   (初中英语单词)
• actually [´æktʃuəli]   ad.事实上；实际上   (初中英语单词)
• stolen [´stəulən]   steal 的过去分词   (初中英语单词)
• system [´sistəm]   n.系统，体系，制度   (初中英语单词)
• retire [ri´taiə]   v.撤退；退职；退休   (初中英语单词)
• respond [ri´spɔnd]   v.回答；响应；有反应   (初中英语单词)
• running [´rʌniŋ]   a.奔跑的；流动的   (初中英语单词)
• prince [´prins]   n.王子；亲王；君主   (初中英语单词)
• confirm [kən´fə:m]   vt.证实；认可；加强   (初中英语单词)
• costume [´kɔstju:m]   n.服装(试样)；女装   (初中英语单词)
• career [kə´riə]   n.经历；生涯；职业   (初中英语单词)
• thoughtful [´θɔ:tfəl]   a.深思的；体贴的   (高中英语单词)
• resent [ri´zent]   vt.不满于；怨恨；忿恨   (高中英语单词)
• refrain [ri´frein]   v.抑制；忍住 n.迭句   (高中英语单词)
• initial [i´niʃəl]   a.最初的 n.首字母   (高中英语单词)
• fantastic [fæn´tæstik]   a.奇异的；荒谬的   (高中英语单词)
• tyranny [´tirəni]   n.暴政；专制政治   (高中英语单词)
• jewelry [´dʒu:əlri]   n.珠宝(饰物)   (高中英语单词)
• saying [´seiŋ, ´sei-iŋ]   n.言语；言论；格言   (高中英语单词)
• lifetime [´laiftaim]   n.一生，终生，寿命   (高中英语单词)
• unfortunately [ʌn´fɔ:tʃunitli]   ad.不幸；不朽；可惜   (高中英语单词)
• tension [´tenʃən]   n.紧张；压力；拉力   (英语四级单词)
• automatically [ɔ:tə´mætikli]   ad.自动地；无意识地   (英语四级单词)
• sojourn [´sɔdʒə:n]   vi.&n.旅居；逗留   (英语四级单词)
• trying [´traiiŋ]   a.难堪的；费劲的   (英语四级单词)
• thieves [θi:vz]   thief的复数   (英语四级单词)
• broker [´brəukə]   n.经纪人，掮客   (英语四级单词)
• weekend [´wi:kend, ,wi:k´end]   n.周末休假   (英语四级单词)
• manhattan [mæn´hætən]   n.曼哈顿   (英语四级单词)
• intrusion [in´tru:ʒən]   n.侵入；打扰；强加   (英语六级单词)
• philosophical [,filə´sɔfikəl]   a.哲学(上)的；冷静的   (英语六级单词)
• priceless [´praisləs]   a.无价的；贵重的   (英语六级单词)
• fantasy [´fæntəsi]   n.幻想(曲)，想象   (英语六级单词)