THE LADY AND HER FIVE SUITORS
A WOMAN of the daughters of the merchants was married to a man who
was a great traveler. It chanced once that he set out for a far
country and was
absent so long that his wife, for pure ennui, fell in
love with a handsome young man of the sons of the merchants, and
they loved each other with
exceeding love. One day the youth quarreled
with another man, who lodged a
complaint against him with the Chief of
Police, and he cast into prison. When the news came to the merchant's
wife his
mistress, she well-nigh lost her wits. Then she arose and
donning her richest clothes, repaired to the house of the Chief of
Police. She saluted him and presented a written
petition to this
purport: "He thou hast clapped in jail is my brother Such-and-such,
who fell out with Such-a-one, and those who testified against him bore
false
witness. He hath been wrongfully imprisoned, and I have none
other to come in to me nor to provide for my support,
therefore I
beseech thee of thy grace to
release him." When the magistrate had
read the paper, he cast his eyes on her and fell in love with her
forthright, so he said to her: "Go into the houses till I bring him
before me. Then I will send for thee and thou shalt take him." "O my
lord," replied she, "I have none to protect me save Almighty Allah! I
am a stranger and may not enter any man's abode." Quoth the Wali, "I
will not let him go except thou come to my home and I take my will of
thee." Rejoined she, "If it must be so, thou must needs come to my
lodging and sit and sleep the siesta and rest thewhole day there."
"And where is thy abode?" asked he, and she answered, "In such a
place," and appointed him for such a time.
Then she went out from him, leaving his heart taken with love of
her, and she repaired to the Kazi of the city, to whom she said, "O
our lord the Kazi!" He exclaimed, "Yes!" and she continued, "Look into
my case, and thy
reward be with Allah the Most High!" Quoth he, "Who
hath wronged thee?" and quoth she, "O my lord, I have a brother and
I have none but that one, and it is on his
account that I come to
thee, because the Wali hath imprisoned him for a
criminal and men have
borne false
witness against him that he is a wrongdoer, and I
beseech thee to intercede for him with the Chief of Police."
When the Kazi looked on her, he fell in love with her forthright and
said to her: "Enter the house and rest
awhile with my handmaids
whilstI send to the Wali to
release thy brother. If I knew the money fine
which is upon him, I would pay it out of my own purse, so I may have
my desire of thee, for thou pleaseth me with thy sweet speech."
Quoth she, "If thou, O my lord, do thus, we must not blame others."
Quoth he, "An thou wilt not come in, wend thy ways." Then said she,
"An thou wilt have it so, O our lord, it will be privier and better in
my place than in thine, for here are slave girls and eunuchs and
goers-in and comers-out, and indeed I am a woman who wotteth
naught of
this fashion, but need compelleth." Asked the Kazi, "And where is
thy house?" and she answered, "In such a place," and appointed him for
the same day and time as the Chief of Police.
Then she went out from him to the Wazir, to whom she preferred her
petition for the
release from prison of her brother, who was
absolutely necessary to her. But he also required her of herself,
saying, "Suffer me to have my will of thee and I will set thy
brother free." Quoth she: "An thou wilt have it so, be it in my house,
for there it will be privier both for me and for thee. It is not far
distant, and thou knowest that which behooveth us women of cleanliness
and adornment." Asked he, "Where is thy house?" "In such a place,"
answered she, and appointed him for the same time as the two others.
Then she went out from him to the King of the city and told him
her story and sought of him her brother's
release. "Who imprisoned
him?" enquired he, and she replied, "'Twas thy Chief of Police."
When the King heard her speech, it transpierced his heart with the
arrows of love and he bade her enter the palace with him, that he
might send to the Kazi and
release her brother. Quoth she: "O King,
this thing is easy to thee, whether I will or nill, and if the King
will indeed have this of me, it is of my good fortune. But if he
come to my house, he will do me the more honor by
setting step
therein, even as saith the poet:
"O my friends, have ye seen or have ye heard
Of his visit whose virtues I hold so high?"
Quoth the King, "We will not cross thee in this." So she appointed him
for the same time as the three others, and told him where her house
was.
Then she left him, and be
taking herself to man which was a
carpenter, said to him: "I would have thee make me a
cabinet with four
compartments one above other, each with its door for locking up. Let
me know thy hire and I will give it thee." Replied he: "My price
will be four dinars. But, O noble lady and well-protected, if thou
wilt
vouchsafe me thy favors, I will ask nothing of thee. Rejoined
she, "An there be no help but that thou have it so, then make thou
five
compartments with their padlocks." And she appointed him to bring
it exactly on the day required. Said he, "It is well. Sit down, O my
lady, and I will make it for thee forthright, and after I will come to
thee at my leisure." So she sat down by him
whilst he fell to work
on the
cabinet, and when he had made an end of it, she chose to see it
at once carried home and set up in the sitting
chamber. Then she
took four gowns and carried them to the dyer, who dyed them each of
a different color, after which she
applied herself to making ready
meat and drink, fruits, flowers, and perfumes.
Now when the appointed trysting day came, she donned her costliest
dress and adorned herself and scented herself, then spread the
sitting room with various kinds of rich carpets, and sat down to await
who should come. And behold, the Kazi was the first to appear,
devancing rest, and when she saw him, she rose to her feet and
kissed the ground before him, then,
taking him by the hand, made him
sit down by her on the couch and lay with him and fell to jesting
and toying with him. By and by he would have her do his desire, but
she said, "O my lord, doff thy clothes and
turban and assume this
yellow cassock and this head
kerchief,
whilst I bring thee meat and
drink, and after thou shalt win thy will." So
saying, she took his
clothes and
turban and clad him in the cassock and the
kerchief. But
hardly she done this when lo! there came a knocking at the door. Asked
he, "Who is that rapping at the door?" and she answered, "My husband."
Quoth the Kazi, "What is to be done, and where shall I go?" Quoth she,
"Fear nothing. I will hide thee in this
cabinet," and he, "Do as
seemeth good to thee."
So she took him by the hand and pushing him into the lowest
compartment, locked the door upon him. Then she went to the house
door, where she found the Wali, so she bussed ground before him and
taking his hand, brought him into the
saloon, where, she made him
sit down and said to him: "O my lord, this house is thy house, this
place is thy place, and I am thy handmaid. Thou shalt pass all this
day with me,
wherefore do thou doff thy clothes and don this red gown,
for it is a
sleeping gown." So she took away his clothes and made
him assume the red gown and set on his head an old patched rag she had
by her. After which she sat by him on the divan and she sported with
him while he toyed with her
awhile, till he put out his hand to her.
Whereupon she said to him: "O our lord, this day is thy day and none
shall share in it with thee. But first, of thy favor and
benevolence, write me an order for my brother's
release from gaol,
that my heart may be at ease." Quoth he, "Hearkening and
obedience. On
my head and eyes be it!" and wrote a letter to his treasurer,
saying: "As soon as this
communication shall reach thee, do thou set
Such-a-one, free, without stay or delay, neither answer the
bearer a
word." Then he sealed it and she took it from him, after which she
began to toy again with him on the divan when, behold, someone knocked
at the door. He asked, "Who is that?" and she answered, "My
husband." "What shall I do?" said he, and she, "Enter this
cabinet,
till I send him away and return to thee." So she clapped him into
the second
compartment from the bottom and padlocked the door on
him, and
meanwhile the Kazi heard all they said.
Then she went to the house door and opened it,
whereupon lo! the
Wazir entered. She bussed the ground before him and received him
with all honor and
worship,
saying: "O my lord, thou exaltest us by
thy coming to our house. Allah never
deprive us of the light of thy
countenance!" Then she seated him on the divan and said to him, "O
my lord, doff thy heavy dress and
turban and don these lighter
vestments." So he put off his clothes and
turban and she clad him in a
blue cassock and a tall red
bonnet, and said to him: "Erst thy garb
was that of the wazirate, so leave it to its own time and don this
light gown, which is better fitted for carousing and making merry
and sleep." Thereupon she began to play with him and he with her,
and he would have done his desire of her, but she put him off,
saying,
"O my lord, this shall not fail us." As they were talking there came a
knocking at the door, and the Wazir asked her, "Who is that?" to which
she answered, "My husband." Quoth he, "What is to be done?" Qhoth she,
"Enter this
cabinet, till I get rid of him and come back to thee,
and fear thou nothing."
So she put him in the third
compartment and locked the door on after
which she went out and opened the house door when lo and behold! in
came the King. As soon as she saw him she kissed ground before him,
and
taking him by the hand, led him into the
saloon and seated him
on the divan at the upper end. Then said she to him, "Verily, O
King, thou dost us high honor, and if we brought thee to gift the
world and all that
therein is, it would not be worth a single one of
thy steps usward." And when he had taken his seat upon the divan she
said, "Give me leave to speak one word." "Say what thou wilt."
answered he, and she said, "O my lord, take thine ease and doff thy
dress and
turban." Now his clothes were worth a thousand dinars, and
when he put them off she clad him in a patched gown, worth at the very
most ten dirhams, and fell to talking and jesting with him, all this
while the folk in the
cabinethearing everything that passed, but
not
daring to say a word. Presently the King put his hand to her
neck and sought to do his design of her, when she said, "This thing
shall not fail us, but I had first promised myself to
entertain thee
in this sitting
chamber, and I have that which shall content thee."
Now as they were
speaking, someone knocked at the door and he asked
her, "Who is that?" "My husband," answered she, and he, "Make him go
away of his own
goodwill, or I will fare forth to him and send him
away perforce." Replied she, "Nay, O my lord, have
patience till I
send him away by my
skillful contrivance." "And I, how shall I do!"
inquired the King. Whereupon she took him by the hand and making him
enter the fourth
compartment of the
cabinet, locked it upon him.
Then she went out and opened the house door, when behold, the
carpenter entered and saluted her. Quoth she, "What manner of thing is
this
cabinet thou hast made me?" "What aileth it, O my lady?" asked
he, and she answered, "The top
compartment is too
strait." Rejoined
he, "Not so," and she, "Go in thyself and see. It is not wide enough
for thee." Quoth he, "It is wide enough for four." and entered the
fifth
compartment,
whereupon she locked the door on him. Then she took
the letter of the Chief of Police and carried it to the Treasurer,
who, having read and understood it, kissed it and delivered her
lover to her. She told him all she had done and he said, "And how
shall we act now?" She answered, "We will remove hence to another
city, for after this work there is no tarrying for us here."
So the twain packed up what goods they had and, loading them on
camels, set out forthright for another city. Meanwhile, the five abode
each in his
compartment of the
cabinet without eating or drinking
three whole days, during which time they held their water until at
last the
carpenter could
retain his no longer, so he staled on the
King's head, and the King urined on the Wazir's head, and the Wazir
piddled on the Wall, and the Wali pissed on the head of the Kazi.
Whereupon the Judge cried out and said: "What nastiness is this?
Doth not what
strait we are in
suffice us, but you must make water
upon us?" The Chief of Police recognized the Kazi's voice and
answered,
saying aloud, "Allah increase thy
reward, O Kazi!" And
when the Kazi heard him he knew him for the Wali. Then the Chief of
Police lifted up his voice and said, "What means this nastiness?"
and the Wazir answered,
saying, "Allah increase thy
reward, O Wali!"
whereupon he knew him to be the Minister. Then the Wazir lifted up his
voice and said, "What means this nastiness?" But when the King heard
and recognized his Minister's voice, he held his peace and concealed