I said "To the earth from which I came; it was better there."
And God laughed at me; and I wondered why he laughed.
God said, "Come, and I will show you Heaven."
...
And
partly I awoke. It was still and dark; the sound of the carriages had
died in the street; the woman who laughed was gone; and the policeman's
tread was heard no more. In the dark it seemed as if a great hand lay upon
my heart, and crushed it. I tried to breathe and tossed from side to side;
and then again I fell asleep, and dreamed.
God took me to the edge of that world. It ended. I looked down. The
gulf, it seemed to me, was fathomless, and then I saw two
bridges crossing
it that both sloped upwards.
I said to God, "Is there no other way by which men cross it?"
God said, "One; it rises far from here and slopes straight upwards.
I asked God what the
bridges' names were.
God said, "What matter for the names? Call them the Good, the True, the
Beautiful, if you will--you will yet not understand them."
I asked God how it was I could not see the third.
God said, "It is seen only by those who climb it."
I said, "Do they all lead to one heaven?"
God said, "All Heaven is one:
nevertheless some parts are higher than
others; those who reach the higher may always go down to rest in the lower;
but those in the lower may not have strength to climb to the higher;
nevertheless the light is all one."
And I saw over the
bridge nearest me, which was wider than the other,
countless footmarks go. I asked God why so many went over it.
God said, "It slopes less deeply, and leads to the first heaven."
And I saw that some of the footmarks were of feet returning. I asked God
how it was.
He said, "No man who has once entered Heaven ever leaves it; but some, when
they have gone half way, turn back, because they are afraid there is no
land beyond."
I said, "Has none ever returned?"
God said, "No; once in Heaven always in Heaven."
And God took me over. And when we came to one of the great doors--for
Heaven has more doors than one, and they are all open--the posts rose up so
high on either side I could not see the top, nor indeed if there were any.
And it seemed to me so wide that all Hell could go in through it.
I said to God, "Which is the larger, Heaven or Hell?"
God said, "Hell is as wide, but Heaven is deeper. All Hell could be
engulfed in Heaven, but all Heaven could not be engulfed in Hell."
And we entered. It was a still great land. The mountains rose on every
hand, and there was a pale clear light; and I saw it came from the rocks
and stones. I asked God how it was.
But God did not answer me.
I looked and wondered, for I had thought Heaven would be
otherwise. And
after a while it began to grow brighter, as if the day were breaking, and I
asked God if the sun were not going to rise.
God said, "No; we are coming to where the people are."
And as we went on it grew brighter and brighter till it was burning day;
and on the rock were flowers
blooming, and trees blossomed at the roadside;
and
streams of water ran everywhere, and I heard the birds singing; I asked
God where they were.
God said, "It is the people
calling to one another."
And when we came nearer I saw them walking, and they shone as they walked.
I asked God how it was they wore no covering.
God said, "Because all their body gives the light; they dare not cover any
part."
And I asked God what they were doing.
God said, "Shining on the plants that they may grow."
And I saw that some were
working in companies, and some alone, but most
were in twos, sometimes two men and sometimes two women; but generally
there was one man and one woman; and I asked God how it was.
God said, "When one man and one woman shine together, it makes the most
perfect light. Many plants need that for their growing. Nevertheless,
there are more kinds of plants in Heaven than one, and they need many kinds
of light."
And one from among the people came
running towards me; and when he came
near it seemed to me that he and I had played together when we were little
children, and that we had been born on the same day. And I told God what I
felt; God said, "All men feel so in Heaven when another comes towards
them."
And he who ran towards me held my hand, and led me through the bright
lights. And when we came among the trees he sang aloud, and his
companionanswered, and it was a woman, and he showed me to her. She said, "He must
have water"; and she took some in her hands, and fed me (I had been afraid
to drink of the water in Hell), and they gathered fruit for me, and gave it
me to eat. They said, "We shone long to make it ripen," and they laughed
together as they saw me eat it.
The man said, "He is very weary; he must sleep" (for I had not dared to
sleep in Hell), and he laid my head on his
companion's knee and spread her
hair out over me. I slept, and all the while in my sleep I thought I heard
the birds
calling across me. And when I woke it was like early morning,
with the dew on everything.
And the man took my hand and led me to a
hidden spot among the rocks. The
ground was very hard, but out of it were sprouting tiny plants, and there
was a little
streamrunning. He said, "This is a garden we are making, no
one else knows of it. We shine here every day; see, the ground has cracked
with our shining, and this little
stream is bursting out. See, the flowers
are growing."
And he climbed on the rocks and picked from above two little flowers with
dew on them, and gave them to me. And I took one in each hand; my hands
shone as I held them. He said, "This garden is for all when it is
finished." And he went away to his
companion, and I went out into the
great pathway.
And as I walked in the light I heard a loud sound of much singing. And
when I came nearer I saw one with closed eyes, singing, and his fellows
were
standing round him; and the light on the closed eyes was brighter than
anything I had seen in Heaven. I asked one who it was. And he said,
"Hush! Our singing bird."
And I asked why the eyes shone so.
And he said, "They cannot see, and we have kissed them till they shone so."
And the people gathered closer round him.
And when I went a little further I saw a crowd crossing among the trees of
light with great
laughter. When they came close I saw they carried one
without hands or feet. And a light came from the maimed limbs so bright
that I could not look at them.
And I said to one, "What is it?"
He answered, "This is our brother who once fell and lost his hands and
feet, and since then he cannot help himself; but we have touched the maimed
stumps so often that now they shine brighter than anything in Heaven. We
pass him on that he may shine on things that need much heat. No one is
allowed to keep him long, he belongs to all"; and they went on among the
trees.
I said to God, "This is a strange land. I had thought
blindness and
maimedness were great evils. Here men make them to a rejoicing."
God said, "Didst thou then think that love had need of eyes and hands!"
And I walked down the shining way with palms on either hand. I said to
God, "Ever since I was a little child and sat alone and cried, I have
dreamed of this land, and now I will not go away again. I will stay here
and shine." And I began to take off my garments, that I might shine as
others in that land; but when I looked down I saw my body gave no light. I
said to God, "How is it?"
God said, "Is there no dark blood in your heart; is it bitter against
none?"
And I said, "Yes--"; and I thought--"Now is the time when I will tell God,
that which I have been, meaning to tell him all along, how badly my fellow-
men have treated me. How they have misunderstood me. How I have intended
to be magnanimous and
generous to them, and they--." And I began to tell
God; but when I looked down all the flowers were withering under my breath,
and I was silent.
And God called me to come up higher, and I gathered my
mantle about me and
followed him.
And the rocks grew higher and steeper on every side; and we came at last to
a place where a great mountain rose, whose top was lost in the clouds. And
on its side I saw men
working; and they picked at the earth with huge
picks; and I saw that they laboured mightily. And some laboured in
companies, but most laboured singly. And I saw the drops of sweat fall
from their
foreheads, and the muscles of their arms stand out with labour.
And I said, "I had not thought in heaven to see men labour so!" And I
thought of the garden where men sang and loved, and I wondered that any
should choose to labour on that bare mountain-side. And I saw upon the
foreheads of the men as they worked a light, and the drops which fell from
them as they worked had light.
And I asked God what they were seeking for.
And God touched my eyes, and I saw that what they found were small stones,
which had been too bright for me to see before; and I saw that the light of
the stones and the light on the men's
foreheads was the same. And I saw
that when one found a stone he passed it on to his fellow, and he to
another, and he to another. No man kept the stone he found. And at times
they gathered in great company about when a large stone was found, and
raised a great shout so that the sky rang; then they worked on again.
And I asked God what they did with the stones they found at last. Then God
touched my eyes again to make them stronger; and I looked, and at my very
feet was a
mighty crown. The light
streamed out from it.
God said, "Each stone as they find it is set here."
And the crown was
wrought according to a marvellous pattern; one pattern
ran through all, yet each part was different.
I said to God, "How does each man know where to set his stone, so that the
pattern is worked out?"
God said, "Because in the light his
forehead sheds each man sees faintly
outlined that full crown."
And I said, "But how is it that each stone is joined along its edges to its
fellows, so that there is no seam anywhere?"
God said, "The stones are alive; they grow."
And I said, "But what does each man gain by his
working?"
God said, "He sees his
outline filled."
I said, "But those stones which are last set cover those which were first;
and those will again be covered by those which come later."
God said, "They are covered, but not hid. The light is the light of all.
Without the first, no last."
And I said to God, "When will this crown be ended?"
And God said, "Look up!"
I looked up; and I saw the mountain tower above me, but its
summit I could
not see; it was lost in the clouds.
God said no more.
And I looked at the crown: then a
longing seized me. Like the
passion of
a mother for the child whom death has taken; like the yearning of a friend
for the friend whom life has buried; like the
hunger of dying eyes for a
life that is slipping; like the
thirst of a soul for love at its first
spring waking, so, but fiercer was the
longing in me.
I cried to God, "I too will work here; I too will set stones in the
wonderful pattern; it shall grow beneath MY hand. And if it be that,
labouring here for years, I should not find one stone, at least I will be
with the men that labour here. I shall hear their shout of joy when each
stone is found; I shall join in their
triumph, I shall shout among them; I
shall see the crown grow." So great was my
longing as I looked at the
crown, I thought a faint light fell from my
forehead also.
God said, "Do you not hear the singing in the gardens?"
I said, "No, I hear nothing; I see only the crown." And I was dumb with
longing; I forgot all the flowers of the lower Heaven and the singing
there. And I ran forward, and threw my
mantle on the earth and bent to
seize one of the
mighty tools which lay there. I could not lift it from
the earth.
God said, "Where hast THOU earned the strength to raise it? Take up thy
mantle."
And I took up my
mantle and followed where God called me; but I looked
back, and I saw the crown burning, my crown that I had loved.
Higher and higher we climbed, and the air grew thinner. Not a tree or
plant was on the bare rocks, and the
stillness was
unbroken. My breath
came hard and quick, and the blood crept within my finger-tips. I said to