of
celebrity in the last
decade of the
departed century. Other
books followed. Not many. He had not the time. It was an
individual and complete
talent, which obtained but a grudging,
somewhat supercilious
recognition from the world at large. For
himself one hesitates to regret his early death. Like one of the
men in his "Open Boat," one felt that he was of those whom fate
seldom allows to make a safe
landing after much toil and
bitterness at the oar. I
confess to an abiding
affection for
that
energetic, slight,
fragile,
intensely" target="_blank" title="ad.激烈地;热切地">
intensely living and transient
figure. He liked me even before we met on the strength of a page
or two of my
writing, and after we had met I am glad to think he
liked me still. He used to point out to me with great
earnestness, and even with some
severity, that "a boy ought to
have a dog." I
suspect that he was shocked at my
neglect of
parental duties. Ultimately it was he who provided the dog.
Shortly afterwards, one day, after playing with the child on the
rug for an hour or so with the most
intenseabsorption, he raised
his head and declared
firmly: "I shall teach your boy to ride."
That was not to be. He was not given the time.
But here is the dog--an old dog now. Broad and low on his bandy
paws, with a black head on a white body and a
ridiculous black
spot at the other end of him, he provokes, when he walks abroad,
smiles not
altogetherunkind. Grotesque and engaging in the
whole of his appearance, his usual attitudes are meek, but his
temperament discloses itself
unexpectedly pugnacious in the
presence of his kind. As he lies in the firelight, his head well
up, and a fixed, far-away gaze directed at the shadows of the
room, he achieves a
strikingnobility of pose in the calm
consciousness of an unstained life. He has brought up one baby,
and now, after
seeing his first
charge off to school, he is
bringing up another with the same
conscientiousdevotion, but
with a more
deliberategravity of manner, the sign of greater
wisdom and riper experience, but also of
rheumatism, I fear.
From the morning bath to the evening ceremonies of the cot you
attend, old friend, the little two-legged creature of your
adoption, being yourself treated in the exercise of your duties
with every possible regard, with
infiniteconsideration, by every
person in the house--even as I myself am treated; only you
deserve it more. The general's daughter would tell you that it
must be "perfectly delightful."
Aha! old dog. She never heard you yelp with acute pain (it's
that poor left ear) the while, with
incredible self-command, you
preserve a rigid immobility for fear of overturning the little
two-legged creature. She has never seen your resigned smile when
the little two-legged creature, interrogated
sternly, "What are
you doing to the good dog?" answers with a wide,
innocent stare:
"Nothing. Only
loving him, mamma dear!"
The general's daughter does not know the secret terms of self-
imposed tasks, good dog, the pain that may lurk in the very
rewards of rigid self-command. But we have lived together many
years. We have grown older, too; and though our work is not
quite done yet we may
indulge now and then in a little
introspection before the fire--meditate on the art of bringing up
babies and on the perfect delight of
writing tales where so many
lives come and go at the cost of one which slips imperceptibly
away.
Chapter VI.
In the retrospect of a life which had, besides its preliminary
stage of
childhood and early youth, two
distinct developments,
and even two
distinct elements, such as earth and water, for its
successive scenes, a certain
amount of naiveness is unavoidable.
I am
conscious of it in these pages. This remark is put forward
in no apologetic spirit. As years go by and the number of pages
grows
steadily, the feeling grows upon one too that one can write
only for friends. Then why should one put them to the necessity
of protesting (as a friend would do) that no
apology is
necessary, or put,
perchance, into their heads the doubt of one's
discretion? So much as to the care due to those friends whom a
word here, a line there, a
fortunate page of just feeling in the
right place, some happy
simplicity, or even some lucky subtlety,
has drawn from the great
multitude of fellow-beings even as a
fish is drawn from the depths of the sea. Fishing is notoriously
(I am talking now of the deep sea) a matter of luck. As to one's
enemies, those will take care of themselves.
There is a gentleman, for
instance, who, metaphorically speaking,
jumps upon me with both feet. This image has no grace, but it is
exceedingly apt to the occasion--to the several occasions. I
don't know
precisely how long he had been indulging in that
intermittent exercise, whose seasons are ruled by the custom of
the publishing trade. Somebody
pointed him out (in printed
shape, of course) to my attention some time ago, and straightway
I
experienced a sort of
reluctantaffection for that
robust man.
He leaves not a shred of my substance untrodden: for the
writer's substance is his
writing; the rest of him is but a vain
shadow, cherished or hated on un
critical grounds. Not a shred!
Yet the
sentiment owned to is not a freak of affectation or
perversity. It has a deeper, and, I
venture to think, a more
estimable
origin than the caprice of
emotional lawlessness. It
is, indeed,
lawful, in so much that it is given (
reluctantly) for
a
consideration, for several
considerations. There is that
robustness, for
instance, so often the sign of good moral
balance. That's a
consideration. It is not, indeed, pleasant to
be stamped upon, but the very thoroughness of the operation,
implying not only a careful
reading, but some real
insight into
work whose qualities and
defects,
whatever they may be, are not
so much on the surface, is something to be
thankful for in view
of the fact that it may happen to one's work to be condemned
without being read at all. This is the most fatuous ad
venturethat can well happen to a
writer venturing his soul
amongstcriticisms. It can do one no harm, of course, but it is
disagreeable. It is
disagreeable in the same way as discovering
a three-card-trick man
amongst a
decent lot of folk in a third-
class
compartment. The open impudence of the whole transaction,
appealing insidiously to the folly and
credulity of mankind, the
brazen, shameless
patter, proclaiming the fraud
openly while
insisting on the
fairness of the game, give one a feeling of
sickening
disgust. The honest
violence of a plain man playing a
fair game fairly--even if he means to knock you over--may appear
shocking, but it remains within the pale of
decency. Damaging as
it may be, it is in no sense
offensive. One may well feel some
regard for
honesty, even if practised upon one's own vile body.
But it is very
obvious that an enemy of that sort will not be
stayed by explanations or placated by apologies. Were I to
advance the plea of youth in excuse of the naiveness to be found
in these pages, he would be likely to say "Bosh!" in a
column and
a half of
fierce print. Yet a
writer is no older than his first
published book, and,
notwithstanding the vain appearances of
decay which attend us in this transitory life, I stand here with
the
wreath of only fifteen short summers on my brow.
With the remark, then, that at such tender age some naiveness of
feeling and expression is excusable, I proceed to admit that,
upon the whole, my
previous state of
existence was not a good
equipment for a
literary life. Perhaps I should not have used the
word
literary. That word presupposes an
intimacy of acquaintance
with letters, a turn of mind and a manner of feeling to which I
dare lay no claim. I only love letters; but the love of letters
does not make a
literary man, any more than the love of the sea
makes a
seaman. And it is very possible, too, that I love the
letters in the same way a
literary man may love the sea he looks
at from the shore--a scene of great
endeavour and of great
achievements changing the face of the world, the great open way
to all sorts of undiscovered countries. No, perhaps I had better
say that the life at sea--and I don't mean a mere taste of it,
but a good broad span of years, something that really counts as
real service--is not, upon the whole, a good
equipment for a
writing life. God
forbid, though, that I should be thought of as
denying my masters of the quarter-deck. I am not
capable of that
sort of apostasy. I have
confessed my attitude of piety towards
their shades in three or four tales, and if any man on earth more
than another needs to be true to himself as he hopes to be saved,
it is certainly the
writer of fiction.
What I meant to say, simply, is that the quarter-deck training
does not prepare one
sufficiently for the
reception of
literarycriticism. Only that, and no more. But this
defect is not
without
gravity. If it be permissible to twist,
invert, adapt
(and spoil) M. Anatole France's
definition of a good
critic, then
let us say that the good author is he who contemplates without
marked joy or
excessive sorrow the ad
ventures of his soul
amongst