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黑莓手机(BlackBerry)是不是独占一个座位？

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When you're out to dinner, does your BlackBerry occupy a seat at the table? Does your spouse ever check email before saying 'good morning' to the kids? Does your son sleep with his laptop?


你出去吃晚餐的时候，黑莓手机(BlackBerry)是不是独占一个座位？你的配偶是不是在跟孩子们说"早上好"之前，要先查收一下电子邮件？你儿子是不是跟他的笔记本电脑一起睡觉？



It may be time for a technology cleanse.


也许，现在是时候做个科技大扫除了。



Like an extreme diet that cuts out all processed foods for a short period of time with the promise of lasting good health, a technology cleanse means you unplug for a short time with longer-term benefits for your relationships.


就像极端节食行为要求在短期内不吃所有加工过的食品以换取长时间的健康一样，科技大扫除意味着要在短期内远离各种电子设备，以换取家庭关系的长治久安。



But be warned: As with any other diet, it isn't easy.


但有一点需要注意：和节食一样，科技大扫除并不容易。



Diane Broadnax, a 50-year-old clinical trial researcher from Mount Airy, Md., recently became fed up with the way her family dispersed to separate computers each evening. Anika, 4, would watch 'Dora the Explorer' on a laptop in the kitchen, while Jasmine, 12, would play with her virtual pets online. Ms. Broadnax's husband, Lonnie Broadnax, 50, went to his home office to watch a sci-fi DVD, and she would make dinner -- while checking her email. Many nights, each person would eat in front of his or her respectivescreen. 'Days were going by and we weren't talking,' Ms. Broadnax says.


黛安•布罗德奈克斯(Diane Broadnax)今年50岁，是马里兰州芒特艾里市(Mount Airy)的一位临床试验研究人员。最近，她厌倦于家人一到晚上就各自去玩电脑的生活方式：四岁的阿尼卡(Anika)在厨房一个笔记本电脑上看动画片《爱探险的朵拉》(Dora the Explorer)，12岁的加斯敏(Jasmine)玩网上的虚拟宠物游戏，她50岁的丈夫罗尼•布罗德奈克斯(Lonnie Broadnax)去他在家的办公室看科幻电影DVD，而她则给大家准备晚餐--同时查收电子邮件。在很多个晚上，每个家庭成员都会在各自的电脑屏幕前吃饭。黛安说，一天过去了，我们都说不上几句话。



So one evening last November, she gave her family some news. For one week, they would forgo all computerized entertainment -- personal email, texting, Facebook, DVDs and online videos (they don't have a regular TV). Computers and devices would be used only for work and homework. Horrified, her 12-year-old said it was no different than being grounded.


因此，2010年11月的一个晚上，她向全家人宣布了一个消息：在未来的一周内，他们将放弃一切电子化的娱乐活动，包括个人电邮、文字聊天、Facebook、DVD和线上视频（他们家没有安装普通的电视）等。电脑和电子设备只能用于从事工作和完成家庭作业。12岁的大女儿吓坏了，说这跟飞机被停飞没有两样。



Ms. Broadnax persevered: The next night she made her family's favorite dinner (chicken and rice) and set the table with candles. But when everyone sat down to eat, the conversation was stilted. The girls gave one-word answers to their parents' questions. Even the adults felt ill at ease.


黛安坚持自己的意见。第二天晚上，她做了家人最爱吃的晚餐（鸡肉和米饭），用蜡烛装点餐桌。然而，当大家坐下来用餐时，彼此的交谈很不自然。女儿们只用一个字来回答父母的问题，连大人们也都感到不自在。



'I didn't know what to say, so some stuff came out really awkward,' Jasmine recalls. 'We all thought, 'We are sitting at the table like we're supposed to, but now what do we do?' ' Mr. Broadnax, a Web designer, says. The meal was so uncomfortable that the family skipped the molten chocolate cake Ms. Broadnax made for dessert. Afterward, Mr. Broadnax read a book. Jasmine went to her room. Anika played with toys in the kitchen while her mom cleaned up and made a few work phone calls.


加斯敏回忆道，当时我不知道该说什么，因此说出来的话都怪怪的。从事网页设计的罗尼说，大家都在想："我们都煞有其事地坐下来了，但接下来该做什么呢？" 这顿饭吃得太不舒服了，以至于大家跳过了甜点时间，连黛安专门准备的巧克力蛋糕都没吃。之后，罗尼看一本书，加斯敏回她房间，阿尼卡在厨房玩玩具，黛安则收拾东西，又打了几个工作电话。



For all our constant connectivity, our electronic devices often keep us apart. Texting causes misunderstandings. Facebook makes us jealous. Television makes us too lazy or tired or distracted for sex. (Don't believe me? A few years ago, an Italian study showed that couples who have a TV in the bedroom have sex half as often as those who do not.)


电子设备让我们与外界保持联系，但往往会让彼此之间的距离更遥远。文字聊天可能造成误会，Facebook使我们嫉妒别人的生活，电视让人变得懒惰、疲倦，或对性生活不感兴趣。（不相信吗？几年前，意大利的一项调查显示，卧室里如果有电视机，则夫妻的性生活频率比卧室里没有电视的少一半。）



Some therapists prescribe tech cleanses for clients. Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill, a Mount Kisco, N.Y., marriage and family therapist, says technology is a distraction from family -- and hard to resist because it's portable and provides instantgratification. It's also an easy escape if we're having trouble in a relationship. 'Technology should be on the list of the top reasons why people divorce, along with money, sex and parenting,' she says. She has seen couples who communicate almost entirely through text, email and phone messages. 'There has to be some time in the week when you are all together and you shut off the technology,' she says.


有些治疗师也建议客户进行科技大扫除。纽约州芒特基斯科市(Mount Kisco)的雪伦•奥尼尔(Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill)是一位婚姻及家庭关系治疗师，她说科技会影响家庭的凝聚力--但又难以抗拒，因为其携带方便，而且能提供即时的满足感。如果家庭关系遇到麻烦，电子产品也是很好的慰藉手段。雪伦说，科技跟金钱、性生活和子女抚养一样，应该是离婚的主要原因之一。她见过一些夫妻几乎只通过文字聊天、电子邮件和手机短信进行沟通。雪伦说，每周应该有一些时候，你和家人在一起，把电子产品全部关闭。



Last year, a group of Jewish artists and media professionals created the Sabbath Manifesto, a list of 10 principles to be followed one day a week in order to unwind. High on the list: 'Avoid Technology.' The group has declared a National Day of Unplugging, from sundown on Friday, March 4, until sundown on Saturday, March 5. Even the Dunphys, on hit TV sitcom 'Modern Family,' tried to go a week tech-free.


2010年，一群犹太艺术家和媒体专业人士发布了一份"安息日宣言"(Sabbath Manifesto)，列出每周有一天应该遵守的十大减压原则。名列榜首的就是：避免科技产品。该组织在热播电视情景剧《摩登家庭》(Modern Family)中宣导一个"全美断网断电日"(National Day of Unplugging)，提议从2011年3月4日周五日落开始，到3月5日周六日落结束，过一个完全没有科技产品的24小时。



In 'The Winter of Our Disconnect,' a book coming out later this month, author Susan Maushart describes the technology fast she undertook with her three teenagers. Ms. Maushart says she was so attached to her iPhone that she slept with it under her pillow and started buying it 'little outfits and jewelry.' Her then-15-year-old son was addicted to videogames, and her 14- and 18-year-old daughters were consumed by social media.


在即将于2011年1月出版的《离线的冬季》(The Winter of Our Disconnect)一书中，作者苏珊•莫沙特(Susan Maushart)描述了她与三个十几岁的儿女一起经历的科技斋戒生活。苏珊说，她对iPhone如此迷恋，以至于睡觉都要把它放在枕头底下，并开始给它买"小小的外套和镶嵌的珠宝"。她当时15岁的儿子玩电子游戏很上瘾，14岁和18岁的两个女儿则着迷于社交网站。



'It got to the point where we would inhabit the same room, but we weren't connecting,' says Ms. Maushart, 52, of Mattituck, N.Y.


52岁来自纽约州马提塔客(Mattituck)的苏珊说，情况发展到这样一个地步，我们可能同处一个房间，却根本没有任何沟通。



For six months while living in Australia in 2009, she and her children unplugged everything with a screen. For entertainment, they went to the movies, ate family meals, played board games and read the newspaper on Saturday mornings. Her son rediscovered his saxophone. Her daughters began cooking and wrote a novel together.


2009年，苏珊和孩子们在澳大利亚住了六个月，没有接触任何一样带屏幕的东西。要娱乐的话，他们就去看电影，吃家庭大餐，玩棋牌游戏，在周六早上看报纸。她儿子重新捡起了萨克斯风，女儿开始学习烹饪，并合写了一部小说。



To ensure her kids' participation, Ms. Maushart promised each a portion of her book proceeds. Her 14-year-old tired of the technology freeze and moved in with her father for six weeks (she eventually moved back). The trial was worth it. 'We appreciate each other more,' says Ms. Maushart.


为确保孩子们积极参与，苏珊承诺每个人都能得到她写书收入的一部分。一度，她14岁的女儿受不了无科技的生活，搬去跟她父亲住了六个星期（最终又搬回来了）。这次尝试很值得。苏珊说，我们对彼此更加欣赏了。



Interested in a tech cleanse? Here are some tips from people who have learned from experience.


你对科技大扫除感兴趣吗？下面是有过此类经历的人提供的一些小窍门。



Give your family advance warning. They need time to prepare mentally.


1. 提前跟家人打招呼。他们需要时间来做好心理准备。



Clarify your goal: Be careful not to swap technology use for some other isolating activity.


2. 说清楚你的目标。注意，目的是暂停科技产品的使用，而不要用其他方式来与世隔绝。



Wean yourself off gadgets gradually. Maybe a week -- or even just one day -- is too long to go unconnected at first.


3. 逐步脱离电子产品。刚开始的时候，需要一个星期的时间来过渡，甚至一天也行，想一步到位摆脱它们是很难的。



Start when your kids are young. Rob and Lauren Webster tried a tech fast last year after realizing how often they plopped their kids, ages 1 and 2, in front of cartoons to keep them quiet. 'I really don't want to screw up my kids,' says Mr. Webster, 39, director of video production at a church in Leawood, Kan. When they unplugged and took the children to the park, 'we found ourselves constantly engaged with our kids and with each other,' he says.


4. 要从娃娃抓起。罗伯•韦伯斯特(Rob Webster)和罗兰•韦伯斯特(Lauren Webster)夫妇去年意识到自己过于频繁地把一岁和两岁的两个孩子放到电视前面看卡通片，让他们保持安静，于是尝试避免使用科技产品。39岁的罗伯在堪萨斯州黎雾市(Leawood)一家教堂担任视频制作主管。他说，我真的不想让孩子们误入歧途。他们离开科技产品，带孩子们去公园玩。罗伯说，我们发现这样能经常跟孩子们保持沟通和接触。



Be clear on the rules. Will calls and emails for work be allowed? What about going online for homework? What are the consequences for cheating?


5. 明确规则。工作上的电话和电子邮件是否允许？为做家庭作业而上网是否可以？还有，耍赖搞小动作的后果是什么？



Let technology help you disconnect. Use Facebook, Twitter or email to tell friends and family that you will be offline. Have emails sent to your inbox in batches.


6. 让科技协助你的斋戒过程。利用Facebook、Twitter或电子邮件告诉朋友和家人你要离线了，并把电邮设置为批量传送到收件箱的模式。



Make the bedroom a media-free zone.


7. 让卧室成为一个无媒体的区域。



When the cleanse is done, learn to avoid the time-suck of letting one Internet search lead to another and another. You can waste hours.


8•科技大扫除结束后，学会避免点击链结从一个网页跳到下一个网页再到下下个网页，这样很浪费时间，会花上好几个小时。



Allow only one screen at a time. Give the TV, for example, your full attention, rather than also looking at your computer and iPhone.


9. 一次只打开一个屏幕。比如看电视的时候就看电视，而不是同时盯着电脑和iPhone。



The Broadnax family extended their tech cleanse for five days. Then one evening, Ms. Broadnax came home from work and found her husband and two daughters playing a trivia game, moving pieces around a game board and reading questions off the computerscreen. All three were laughing. 'Here was an almost perfect solution,' says Ms. Broadnax. 'It was family interaction with technology. The screen was there, but it wasn't the focal point.'


布罗德奈克斯一家延长了科技斋戒的时间，多坚持了五天。之后，有一天晚上，黛安下班回来，发现丈夫正在和两个女儿玩一个益智问答游戏，在游戏板上挪动棋子，通过电脑屏幕观看问题，三个人都开心地大笑。黛安说，这几乎是一个完美的解决方案。这是一种通过科技实现的家庭互动，电子设备的屏幕依然存在，但已经不是焦点所在。



Elizabeth Bernste


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