Bad habits are among the worst enemies of living life to the fullest. Why? Because habit is something we do over and over again. While we do other kinds of mistakes occasionally, bad habit is something we do
consistently over time. If even one mistake can drag your life down, you can imagine what kind of damage bad habits can do.
To make matters worse, often we don't realize that we have bad habits. We think that we just live our life as usual while we are actually making mistakes again and again. It's like having leaks in our ship without realizing it.
So breaking bad habits should be among your top priorities to get the most out of your life. If you do it right, and you are on your way to make
significant improvements in your life.
The first step to breaking the bad habits is to identify them. Only after identifying them can you decide to do something about them. Here are two tips for identifying the bad habits you might have:
1. Compare your life with your value system
Do you live according to your value system? Or do you deviate from it here and there? Your value system acts like a compass that guides your life. When you do things that are not according to your life compass, you know that you have a problem. So look for things you
consistently do that deviate from your value system. Those are your bad habits.
2. Compare your life with a role model
Sometimes it's easier to compare your life with someone else's life than to compare it with an
abstract value system. So find people whose life you want to emulate and find the details of how they live their life. Is there anything they don't do that you
consistently do? For instance, perhaps they are never late. You, on the other hand, are perpetually late. That's a bad habit you should stop.
The next step after identifying the bad habits is to break them. I'm glad I found some good tips for it in the book Become a Better You by Joel Osteen. While the book is based on Christian principles, many lessons in it are
universallyapplicable including its suggestions on breaking bad habits. Here are four tips to stop bad habits based on the book:
1. Quit feeding the bad habit
There are two "wolves" inside us that fight each other. One wolf represents good habits while the other represents bad habits. Which wolf will win the fight? The answer is the one you feed. So breaking bad habit is actually simple: just stop feeding it. Leave the bad habit starve and you are on your way to get it away from your life.
2. Replace it with a good habit
Quit feeding the bad habit is essential but it's not enough. You must also replace it with a good habit. Otherwise there is an empty space in your life where the bad habit could go back to anytime.
So develop a good habit to replace the bad habit. For instance, if you have the habit of thinking
negative thoughts, you should replace it with the habit of thinking
positive thoughts. Whenever
negative thoughts come, use it as a
trigger to start thinking
positive thoughts. Or if you have the habit of eating unhealthy food, you can start developing the habit of eating healthy food. Just don't leave the space empty.
3. Press past the
initial pain and discomfort
When breaking a bad habit, the beginning of the process is the most difficult. Just like getting a space shuttle lifted off the Earth takes enormous amount of power, it also takes enormous amount of willpower to break a bad habit. And just like moving a space shuttle that has escaped the Earth's gravitational pull takes little energy, it also takes only little amount of willpower to continue doing your new habit.
The
initial phase is the most difficult, but it will become easier and easier over time. So whenever you think that it's too difficult to stay on course, just remember that it won't be so for long. You just have to keep moving forward.
4. Make "no exceptions" policy
Once you decide to break a bad habit, stick with your decision. Make no exceptions to come back to it for whatever reason. I know it's not easy (at least for me), but this step is essential if you want the process to get easier over time. Making exceptions is like
taking a space shuttle back to Earth; you need another enormous amount of power to lift it off again. So be careful not to make exceptions when you are
dealing with bad habits.
These four tips are simple but powerful. Using the feeding
analogy, the tips to break a bad habit boil down to this:
Quit feeding the bad habit. Feed a good one instead.
What do you think?
坏习惯是阻碍生活变得充实完美的最大杀手。为什么呢?因为习惯是一件我们不断重复的事情。一些错误我们偶尔会犯,然而我们的坏习惯是不间断的。即使是一个错误都可以拖累你的生活,你可以想象一下坏习惯能带来多大的危害。
更糟糕的是。我们通常不会意识到我们的坏习惯。我们认为我们只不过和平常一样地生活,然而我们的的确确,一次又一次地在犯错。这就好像我们没有意识到我们的船有漏洞一样。
因此改变你的坏习惯必须成为你生活的重中之重。一旦你纠正了坏习惯,那么你就为改善你的生活走出了极其重要的一步。
改掉坏习惯的第一步是发现它们。只有意识到坏习惯,你才能针对它们有所行动。以下两个小窍门就是教你如何发现你可能有的坏习惯。
对比一下你的生活和你的价值观
你是否按照你的价值观来生活呢?又或者你的生活方式常常与价值观有所出入?你的价值观其作用如同导航你生活的罗盘。当你的行动与你生活的罗盘方向不同时,你可以知道你出了点问题。因此寻找一下那些与你价值观不符却又常常发生的行为。那些就是你的坏习惯。
对比一下你的生活和模范的生活
比起拿你的生活和抽象的价值观对比,有时候和其他人的生活作比较更容易。因此找一下你理想生活的典范,并分析他们生活的细节。看看有什么事是你常干他们却不做的。比如,也许他们从来不迟到。而你,正相反,一直会迟到。那就是你必须改正的坏习惯。意识到坏习惯后,
第二步就是改掉它们。很开心我在Joel Osteen的《完善自我》一书中找到了几个对付坏习惯的方法。这本书基于基督教的教义,其中许多是经验教训示广为适用,包括如何改变坏习惯的建议。基于这本书,以下给出四则贴士,教你如何改掉坏习惯。
1.停止"饲养"坏习惯
我们体内有两匹"狼",它们争斗不休。一匹狼代表了好习惯而另外一匹代表坏习惯。哪匹狼会在争斗中胜出呢?答案由你决定。所以停止坏习惯其实很简单:只要停止"饲养"坏习惯。让坏习惯自生自灭,这样你就可以让它从你的生活里出局。
2.用好习惯替代坏习惯
不再养成坏习惯很重要但这样还不够。你必须用好习惯来替代坏习惯。否则你的生活中会多出一个空档,坏习惯随时又会回到那里。
因此要养成一个好习惯来替代坏习惯。比如,如果你有思考事情消极面的习惯,你必须通过思考事情积极面的习惯来替代。每当消极的思想出现时,就以此为契机开始思考积极的事情。又或者你有吃垃圾食品的习惯,那么你就要开始养成吃健康食品德习惯。千万不要留出任何空档。
3.坚持度过最初的痛苦和不适
但你要纠正一个坏习惯,最初的过程是最难的。就像太空飞船离开地球时需要巨大的推动力,改正坏习惯也需要强大的意志力。就像太空飞船一旦脱离了地球的引力,移动起来只需要花一点点的能量,继续养成好习惯也只需要不多的毅力。
最初的阶段是最难的,但随着时间的推移将变得越来越容易。所以一旦你觉得继续改变太难的话,只要想想这样的阶段不会太久的。而你只有继续前进才行。
4.立下"没有例外"的规矩
一旦你决心要改变坏习惯,就要坚持你的决定。不论有什么理由都不能例外。我知道这不是件容易的事情(至少对我而言),但这个步骤很关键,如果你希望随着时间的推移能让这个过程变得容易的话。搞特殊情况就如同把太空飞船拉回地面;你需要又一次花同样大的精力让它再度升空。因此在对付坏习惯时千万小心,不要有所例外。
这四则贴士说来容易但却十分有效。通过"饲养"坏习惯这个类比,纠正坏习惯的这些贴士可归结为:
停止"饲养"坏习惯,相反培养一个好习惯。
你认为怎么样呢?
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