How much do I influence my wife's sense of style? This is a question many men must ponder, particularly after a loved one asks of an outfit, "Darling, do you like it?" - and proceeds to make a decision based only tangentially on his response.
For a man, having an opinion (when we are asked for one, of course) can be tricky. In our working lives we are expected to express ourselves in a forceful and authoritative way, so it's not surprising if we believe the same logic should apply to thoughts on our partners' clothes.
Yet often women choose to ignore the fact that men can be useful sounding boards when it comes to the daunting task of buying clothes; it is husbands or boyfriends, after all, who are the most constant observers of their wardrobes.
No matter that most men don't have the vocabulary to articulate the appeal of that extra inch of heel on a pair of Manolo Blahniks; they understand they make a woman look fantastic. Women may ask their partners for an opinion on what they are wearing but, in truth, they don't really want to know the answer. This, as far as I am concerned, is a missed opportunity.
Assembling a man's wardrobe is usually a relatively simple task based on considerations of work, socialising, leisure and sport. For women, however, this process also requires factoring in complex issues to do with body image and age. What results is a test of confidence and endurance, regardless of how much disposable income she has.
And, although there is truth in the belief that women dress for other women, as a husband and a designer, observing the process from both sides, I have come to realise that comments from the partner can, and should, be taken seriously - by both persons involved.
As a designer, it is my business to create collections that women respond to - and I am privileged to be able to offer customers my opinion without fear of causing offence.
As a husband, I find that what I say and how I say it is a matter of extreme tactical importance. I have also learned that the eyes don't lie. Women have a knack for noticing that the slightest change in expression on their partner's face reveals what they really feel about an outfit.
In my London boutique, I have often witnessed two scenarios, one depressing, one encouraging; both are instructive.
The first scenario involves a husband or boyfriend accompanying his partner shopping in order to display publicly the control he exerts in her life, including how she dresses or how much she spends. The tension that surrounds every visit he makes to the changing room is palpable, and further heightened as he critically examines her before announcing: "I don't think it is something you will wear often" - in other words, "I don't like it and, as I am paying for it, you cannot buy it." This does not end well.
. . .
The second scenario features the husband being presented with an edited collection (read: a small number of carefully chosen pieces that are easy for him to digest and imagine her wearing at home) in an intimate, comfortable environment without distractions from other shoppers. Generally, this set-up results in him abandoning preconceptions about his wife's style and feeling reassured that his opinion is being sought and heard. So enthusiastic does he become that he issues forth hitherto unrevealed theories on fashion and style, perhaps based on episodes of Sex and the City or a newspaper article he has read.
How much do I influence my wife's sense of style? This is a question many men must ponder, particularly after a loved one asks of an outfit, "Darling, do you like it?" - and proceeds to make a decision based only tangentially on his response.
For a man, having an opinion (when we are asked for one, of course) can be tricky. In our working lives we are expected to express ourselves in a forceful and authoritative way, so it's not surprising if we believe the same logic should apply to thoughts on our partners' clothes.
Yet often women choose to ignore the fact that men can be useful sounding boards when it comes to the daunting task of buying clothes; it is husbands or boyfriends, after all, who are the most constant observers of their wardrobes.
No matter that most men don't have the vocabulary to articulate the appeal of that extra inch of heel on a pair of Manolo Blahniks; they understand they make a woman look fantastic. Women may ask their partners for an opinion on what they are wearing but, in truth, they don't really want to know the answer. This, as far as I am concerned, is a missed opportunity.
Assembling a man's wardrobe is usually a relatively simple task based on considerations of work, socialising, leisure and sport. For women, however, this process also requires factoring in complex issues to do with body image and age. What results is a test of confidence and endurance, regardless of how much disposable income she has.
And, although there is truth in the belief that women dress for other women, as a husband and a designer, observing the process from both sides, I have come to realise that comments from the partner can, and should, be taken seriously - by both persons involved.
As a designer, it is my business to create collections that women respond to - and I am privileged to be able to offer customers my opinion without fear of causing offence.
As a husband, I find that what I say and how I say it is a matter of extreme tactical importance. I have also learned that the eyes don't lie. Women have a knack for noticing that the slightest change in expression on their partner's face reveals what they really feel about an outfit.
In my London boutique, I have often witnessed two scenarios, one depressing, one encouraging; both are instructive.
The first scenario involves a husband or boyfriend accompanying his partner shopping in order to display publicly the control he exerts in her life, including how she dresses or how much she spends. The tension that surrounds every visit he makes to the changing room is palpable, and further heightened as he critically examines her before announcing: "I don't think it is something you will wear often" - in other words, "I don't like it and, as I am paying for it, you cannot buy it." This does not end well.
. . .
A cliché, yes. But it's one that every woman loves to hear
我对妻子的时装感觉影响有多大？这肯定是许多男人思考的问题，尤其是当爱人就一套衣服征求意见："亲爱的，你喜欢吗？"--但随后做出的决定又和他们的回答毫不相干时。
对男人来说，拥有主见（当然是在有人征求我们的意见时）会是件棘手的事。在工作中，我们必须以具有说服力和权威性的方式表达自己，因此如果我们认为对伴侣服装的评价也适用同样的逻辑，也就不令人意外了。
然而，女人常常忽视一个事实，即在购买服装这项令人望而生畏的任务上，男人也能成为得力顾问；毕竟，丈夫或是男朋友才是女人衣橱最持久的鉴赏者。
多数男人没有足够的词汇来描绘一双Manolo Blahnik鞋跟高出的那一英寸的魅力所在，这也没有关系；他们知道这会让一个女人看上去棒极了。女人或许会就自己的穿着征求伴侣的意见，但实际上她们并不想知道答案。这，在我看来，是错失的机会。
打造一个男人的衣橱通常是相对简单的任务，只要根据工作、社交、休闲和运动的需要来考虑就可以。但对女人来说，这个过程还需要将与身体形象和年龄有关的复杂问题分解因子。其结果是对信心和耐力的考验，无论她拥有多少可支配收入。
而且，虽然认为女人是为了别的女人穿衣服的看法有其准确性，作为丈夫和设计师，从两个角度观察了这一过程之后，我意识到来自伴侣的评价可以，并应该，得到认真考虑--得到有关双方的考虑。
作为设计师，我的任务是创造出能引起女性共鸣的服装系列--而且，我拥有向顾客提供意见的特权，而不用担心冒犯她们。
作为丈夫，我发现我所说的话和我说话的方式具有极大的战术意义。我还意识到，眼睛不会说谎。女人拥有诀窍，能注意到伴侣脸上表情的细微变化，这种变化暴露了他们对于一套服装的真实感受。
在我位于伦敦的店铺里，经常可以看到两种场景，一种令人情绪低落，一种鼓舞人心；两者都具有教育意义。
第一种场景是，丈夫或男朋友陪着伴侣购物，目的是公开展示对于她生活的控制权，包括她如何穿着或开销多少。可以清楚感觉到，他每次前往更衣室，都伴随着一种紧张感。他用批判的眼光上下打量她，然后宣布："我觉得这不是你会经常穿的衣服"--换句话说，"我不喜欢这件，而且，既然由我来付钱，你就不能买了"。此时紧张感进一步提升。这种场景没有好结局。
第二种场景，在私密、舒适、没有其它顾客干扰的环境中，一个经过挑选的系列（解读：少数几件精心挑选的服装，让他容易消化，也容易想象出她在家穿着的样子）呈现在丈夫眼前。一般来说，这个场景的结果是，他放弃了有关妻子穿衣风格的成见，并确信自己的意见得到征求和听取。他会变得如此热情，以至于说出许多迄今为止从未吐露过的有关时尚和风格的理论，根据或许是《欲望都市》(Sex and the City)中的一些场景，或许是他在报纸上读到的一篇文章。
此后，关于配饰的建议便不断涌出，就像在一场足球比赛期间电视机前的观众经常叫嚷出的建议一样--例如，"这条裙子配上我们在纽约买的项链和你米兰买的漂亮皮包会很棒的"。有时，整个过程会变成某种装扮游戏，服装换了一套又一套，而当一套衣服明显不适合时采取的外交手段令人敬佩不已。
然而，在这两种场景中，有一件事是显而易见的：女人希望听到伴侣说喜欢她们的衣服，但如果他们不喜欢，女人也想知道。是不是像第22条军规(Catch 22)一样让人左右为难？好吧，这就是关键所在：最为绝妙、鼓励效果最棒的话--"买下吧，亲爱的，买吧。你穿着它漂亮极了"--也是最显而易见的。
这是一句陈词滥调，是的。但这也是每个女人都喜欢听的话。
关键字:市民英语
生词表:
For a man, having an opinion (when we are asked for one, of course) can be tricky. In our working lives we are expected to express ourselves in a forceful and authoritative way, so it's not surprising if we believe the same logic should apply to thoughts on our partners' clothes.
Yet often women choose to ignore the fact that men can be useful sounding boards when it comes to the daunting task of buying clothes; it is husbands or boyfriends, after all, who are the most constant observers of their wardrobes.
No matter that most men don't have the vocabulary to articulate the appeal of that extra inch of heel on a pair of Manolo Blahniks; they understand they make a woman look fantastic. Women may ask their partners for an opinion on what they are wearing but, in truth, they don't really want to know the answer. This, as far as I am concerned, is a missed opportunity.
Assembling a man's wardrobe is usually a relatively simple task based on considerations of work, socialising, leisure and sport. For women, however, this process also requires factoring in complex issues to do with body image and age. What results is a test of confidence and endurance, regardless of how much disposable income she has.
And, although there is truth in the belief that women dress for other women, as a husband and a designer, observing the process from both sides, I have come to realise that comments from the partner can, and should, be taken seriously - by both persons involved.
As a designer, it is my business to create collections that women respond to - and I am privileged to be able to offer customers my opinion without fear of causing offence.
As a husband, I find that what I say and how I say it is a matter of extreme tactical importance. I have also learned that the eyes don't lie. Women have a knack for noticing that the slightest change in expression on their partner's face reveals what they really feel about an outfit.
In my London boutique, I have often witnessed two scenarios, one depressing, one encouraging; both are instructive.
The first scenario involves a husband or boyfriend accompanying his partner shopping in order to display publicly the control he exerts in her life, including how she dresses or how much she spends. The tension that surrounds every visit he makes to the changing room is palpable, and further heightened as he critically examines her before announcing: "I don't think it is something you will wear often" - in other words, "I don't like it and, as I am paying for it, you cannot buy it." This does not end well.
. . .
The second scenario features the husband being presented with an edited collection (read: a small number of carefully chosen pieces that are easy for him to digest and imagine her wearing at home) in an intimate, comfortable environment without distractions from other shoppers. Generally, this set-up results in him abandoning preconceptions about his wife's style and feeling reassured that his opinion is being sought and heard. So enthusiastic does he become that he issues forth hitherto unrevealed theories on fashion and style, perhaps based on episodes of Sex and the City or a newspaper article he has read.
How much do I influence my wife's sense of style? This is a question many men must ponder, particularly after a loved one asks of an outfit, "Darling, do you like it?" - and proceeds to make a decision based only tangentially on his response.
For a man, having an opinion (when we are asked for one, of course) can be tricky. In our working lives we are expected to express ourselves in a forceful and authoritative way, so it's not surprising if we believe the same logic should apply to thoughts on our partners' clothes.
Yet often women choose to ignore the fact that men can be useful sounding boards when it comes to the daunting task of buying clothes; it is husbands or boyfriends, after all, who are the most constant observers of their wardrobes.
No matter that most men don't have the vocabulary to articulate the appeal of that extra inch of heel on a pair of Manolo Blahniks; they understand they make a woman look fantastic. Women may ask their partners for an opinion on what they are wearing but, in truth, they don't really want to know the answer. This, as far as I am concerned, is a missed opportunity.
Assembling a man's wardrobe is usually a relatively simple task based on considerations of work, socialising, leisure and sport. For women, however, this process also requires factoring in complex issues to do with body image and age. What results is a test of confidence and endurance, regardless of how much disposable income she has.
And, although there is truth in the belief that women dress for other women, as a husband and a designer, observing the process from both sides, I have come to realise that comments from the partner can, and should, be taken seriously - by both persons involved.
As a designer, it is my business to create collections that women respond to - and I am privileged to be able to offer customers my opinion without fear of causing offence.
As a husband, I find that what I say and how I say it is a matter of extreme tactical importance. I have also learned that the eyes don't lie. Women have a knack for noticing that the slightest change in expression on their partner's face reveals what they really feel about an outfit.
In my London boutique, I have often witnessed two scenarios, one depressing, one encouraging; both are instructive.
The first scenario involves a husband or boyfriend accompanying his partner shopping in order to display publicly the control he exerts in her life, including how she dresses or how much she spends. The tension that surrounds every visit he makes to the changing room is palpable, and further heightened as he critically examines her before announcing: "I don't think it is something you will wear often" - in other words, "I don't like it and, as I am paying for it, you cannot buy it." This does not end well.
. . .
A cliché, yes. But it's one that every woman loves to hear
我对妻子的时装感觉影响有多大？这肯定是许多男人思考的问题，尤其是当爱人就一套衣服征求意见："亲爱的，你喜欢吗？"--但随后做出的决定又和他们的回答毫不相干时。
对男人来说，拥有主见（当然是在有人征求我们的意见时）会是件棘手的事。在工作中，我们必须以具有说服力和权威性的方式表达自己，因此如果我们认为对伴侣服装的评价也适用同样的逻辑，也就不令人意外了。
然而，女人常常忽视一个事实，即在购买服装这项令人望而生畏的任务上，男人也能成为得力顾问；毕竟，丈夫或是男朋友才是女人衣橱最持久的鉴赏者。
多数男人没有足够的词汇来描绘一双Manolo Blahnik鞋跟高出的那一英寸的魅力所在，这也没有关系；他们知道这会让一个女人看上去棒极了。女人或许会就自己的穿着征求伴侣的意见，但实际上她们并不想知道答案。这，在我看来，是错失的机会。
打造一个男人的衣橱通常是相对简单的任务，只要根据工作、社交、休闲和运动的需要来考虑就可以。但对女人来说，这个过程还需要将与身体形象和年龄有关的复杂问题分解因子。其结果是对信心和耐力的考验，无论她拥有多少可支配收入。
而且，虽然认为女人是为了别的女人穿衣服的看法有其准确性，作为丈夫和设计师，从两个角度观察了这一过程之后，我意识到来自伴侣的评价可以，并应该，得到认真考虑--得到有关双方的考虑。
作为设计师，我的任务是创造出能引起女性共鸣的服装系列--而且，我拥有向顾客提供意见的特权，而不用担心冒犯她们。
作为丈夫，我发现我所说的话和我说话的方式具有极大的战术意义。我还意识到，眼睛不会说谎。女人拥有诀窍，能注意到伴侣脸上表情的细微变化，这种变化暴露了他们对于一套服装的真实感受。
在我位于伦敦的店铺里，经常可以看到两种场景，一种令人情绪低落，一种鼓舞人心；两者都具有教育意义。
第一种场景是，丈夫或男朋友陪着伴侣购物，目的是公开展示对于她生活的控制权，包括她如何穿着或开销多少。可以清楚感觉到，他每次前往更衣室，都伴随着一种紧张感。他用批判的眼光上下打量她，然后宣布："我觉得这不是你会经常穿的衣服"--换句话说，"我不喜欢这件，而且，既然由我来付钱，你就不能买了"。此时紧张感进一步提升。这种场景没有好结局。
第二种场景，在私密、舒适、没有其它顾客干扰的环境中，一个经过挑选的系列（解读：少数几件精心挑选的服装，让他容易消化，也容易想象出她在家穿着的样子）呈现在丈夫眼前。一般来说，这个场景的结果是，他放弃了有关妻子穿衣风格的成见，并确信自己的意见得到征求和听取。他会变得如此热情，以至于说出许多迄今为止从未吐露过的有关时尚和风格的理论，根据或许是《欲望都市》(Sex and the City)中的一些场景，或许是他在报纸上读到的一篇文章。
此后，关于配饰的建议便不断涌出，就像在一场足球比赛期间电视机前的观众经常叫嚷出的建议一样--例如，"这条裙子配上我们在纽约买的项链和你米兰买的漂亮皮包会很棒的"。有时，整个过程会变成某种装扮游戏，服装换了一套又一套，而当一套衣服明显不适合时采取的外交手段令人敬佩不已。
然而，在这两种场景中，有一件事是显而易见的：女人希望听到伴侣说喜欢她们的衣服，但如果他们不喜欢，女人也想知道。是不是像第22条军规(Catch 22)一样让人左右为难？好吧，这就是关键所在：最为绝妙、鼓励效果最棒的话--"买下吧，亲爱的，买吧。你穿着它漂亮极了"--也是最显而易见的。
这是一句陈词滥调，是的。但这也是每个女人都喜欢听的话。
关键字:市民英语
生词表:
- authoritative [ɔ:´θɔrətətiv]
a.可信的；命令的 四级词汇 - articulate [ɑ:´tikjulit] a.口齿清楚的 v.连接 六级词汇
- wardrobe [´wɔ:drəub] n.衣柜；全部服装 四级词汇
- designer [di´zainə] n.设计者 六级词汇
- privileged [´privilidʒd] a.有特权的；特许的 六级词汇
- publicly [´pʌblikli] ad.公然；公众所有地 六级词汇
- tension [´tenʃən] n.紧张；压力；拉力 四级词汇
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