Not slushy poems this time, hehe. Just want to write something now that the time has come for
senior students to leave their college for good.
The space before the
senior's dorm building looks like junkyard with used articles and back issues scattered in free style, and
rubbish collectors apparantly having found their
hunting ground. Vans pulled up near the dorms to deliver the
luggage for the graduates, and workers from the post office were busy processing the
delivery procedures. Those green vans with the white words "China Post" added to the general mood of going to a place- whether it is hometown or the place of job- far from this college where 4 most precious years of one's life is spent. Air mail, railway or vans, there is no more place in this college for your belongings-and no more place for you.
The usually chaotic soccer field was
relatively quiet these days, with only small groups of people cutting
forlorn figures. The other day as I was leaving the pitch, I heard one guy speak to another" So this is our last time kicking a ball here." " Yes, it ended just so fast". Out of the blue, my heart felt jerked by a forceful hand at their plain spoken words. Each of my shot at the goal, pass of the ball, and sliding
tackle rushed back in a transfixing flash-in one year's time I will be me who set his feet on this exciting stretch of grass again in what will be my final
pilgrimage to this sacred ground. Why there is an end to all good things?
Holding each other tight were lovers who were ready( were they actually ready?) to go their separate ways in a couple of days. Looking at them made me share with their
sadness and brings me face to face with the cruel fact love CAN'T conquer all. I don't know whom I will be with come the last day of my college life, or maybe I will spend it all by myself, after all my friends here have left, without a girl to say a heart-felt good-bye to, and shed a tear for.
The nights were
unexpectedly quiet these days, as I was looking forward
fervently to an alcohol-fuelled riot or some vandalism to leave the school administration in no doubt how these longest-suffering victims feel about their performance. On the contrary, there isn't much
noticeable difference even though there wasn't a ban on alcohol drinking in any form or shape. I think the probelm is they are institutionalized, having grown numb to the disparity between what they wanted and what they ended up with. They stopped caring about making a change when reality changed them. Actually i can feel this
resignation slipping into my heart after three years of
painfuldisillusion, being fed up with bullshit and training to be a conformist.
This said, I plan to just get on with what my final college year has in store for me and try to find a
decent job and make good for what I lost during the four years, like my true self.
Farewell, those who are going to walk out of the campus for the last time as if you had never stepped into it. I really want to say more to you, but words fail me. I do feel something deep in my heart about this time of
profoundtransition, to name it, however, is not going to work. Or do I really care about it and is it just I am supposed to react in some way to all this emotional
graduation thing? Oh, my God, am I stopping to care?!What's the heck!
Thank you for
bearing with me, now treat yourself to something less boring!
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