life without pain

深圳大学 赖小琪

Tonight is Christmas Eve. From morning till midnight my cell phone was invaded by successive messages of wishes and quivered every now and then. In order to quiet it and not to disturb my study, I had to turn it off during I am studying. Actually I feel very happy for my friends and classmates' care.

After the weary study, I went out with some of friends to have a big meal nearby our dorm. As we were enjoying the toothsome porridge spiced with pepper and pork, we were tattling to our hearts' content. These days we have been wrestling with endless work of review over our lessons nonstop. As the finals are impending, our nerves are tightening day by day. This semester I overtake too many courses, which drops me into a bottomless hole of which I can hardly climb out. At the initial stage, I did not concentrate apt attention on my lessons and merely focused on my BEC Higher exam. After the exam eventually came to an end, the CET6 was unveiling its face that pressured me somehow. However eager I was eager to do more exercise about it, I could barely squeeze the time due to the tightly following articles and assignments teachers required us to fulfill. After continuous struggling toils, I had ultimately overmastered all the articles and assignments. Just the moment I began to think I could do what I wanted to do, I already heard the rumbles of the paces of the final exam. Then I bury my head over piles of books and almost forget what my name is. Is it funny? Maybe hearing this you cannot help laughing, but to me it is really a torture~~~

Tonight I chatted for a while with one of my friends on phone, and he told me that his grandmother went to Heaven several days ago. At the horrible news, I felt shocked to speak for a moment, heart being sharply stricken. A familiar feeling intruded my mind and soul when my grandmother passed away last year. My friend's miserable event stimulated my bitter memories of my grandma. But I got back to my feet soon and went on chatting with him. I do not know how painful he feels, but to me, a person who shared the same experience before, I feel exceedingly tearing in heart. After hanging up the phone, I fell into thought and became speechless for quite a while. I know for sure that tonight my dear grandma would meet me in my dream.

Now I am trying to live every day to the fullest and bathe in happiness all the time. Never ever have I become so optimistic and sunny towards my life. some of my friends even asked me why I can maintain a pleased mindset. They were even sure in some way that these days I never met any troubles. Actually I did meet troubles, a lot of troubles, troubles from my health and my study. But however messy my life is, I will try to keep a pleasant mood. I deeply know that as a matter of fact, I am not simply living for myself, but also living for my families and friends. each time when I feel unhappy, I will imagine how my grandma will feel when seeing me so upset, then I will alter my attitude immediately. I am considerablyreluctant to render a pass-away feel concerned about me. that is really a sin for me!

It is deep in night now. I need to hit the sack! But I know I cannot fall into sleep soon, however eagerly I want. I have to think a lot~~~~~~~~
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