My Dreams, My Clouds, Your World

我的梦想，我的云，你们的世界



　It's a long endless road. I don't know where is it taking me but I am running along with it. I am not running because I want to but because I have to. It's been a long run and I am worn out, still I have to run.

　 Here is New York. The city of high-rises, proud and loud, big and brash. I arrived here a few days ago, as an illegalimmigrant. There was no legal way out, I am sorry for that. I desperately wanted to come here; I wanted my dreams to come true. I brought my dreams with me into another dream New York. It was my dream.

　After arriving here I had nowhere to go. I looked around in complete bemusement and concluded that I was a misfit here. But soon this notion died away as I looked up in the sky. The clouds yes. The clouds, they were the same as I left them in my country. They are same everywhere. That's why I was no foreigner to them, they were my clouds.

　　So it was no problem now, wherever the clouds were, the place was mine. I started wandering in the streets. While roving around, somewhere in the middle of the Big Apple, in abandoned streets, I could see theflip side of the dazzling picture of the metropolis. It was all dark; it was all full of drug-addicts and unofficially declared insignificant old people waiting for no one but the angel of bereavement.

　　I didn't dream my dream to be like this so I left the place. I went to Downtown and that was the first mistake I made. I was too busy flying in Manhattan with my delusions that I forgot Interpol. They were after me ever since I landed here; after all I was a prohibited migrant.



　　漫无尽头的公路。我不知道它去向何方，但我还是沿着它不停的奔跑。我奔跑，不是因为想要这样而是我必须跑。路很长，我筋疲力尽，但我还是得跑。

　　这里是纽约。一个大厦林立、妄自尊大、繁杂喧闹、傲慢无礼的城市。几天前我就到了这里，我的身份是：非法移民。我没有什么合法的方式可以来这儿，对此我非常遗憾。我热切的渴望来到这里，我希望我的梦想能在这里变成现实。我带着我的梦想来到了另一个梦想里面纽约，我的梦想。

　　我无处可去。非常困惑的放眼四望，我得出结论：我与这周围的一切是如此的不和谐。但当我抬头看天，这种想法就迅速的离我而去了。云，是的。云，它们还和我在自己的国家与它们作别时一模一样。他们无论在哪里都是一样。这就是为什么对于它们来说我不是异乡人的原因，它们是我的云。

　　于是一切问题都解决了，云在哪里，哪里就是我的领地。我开始在街上游荡。我在没有人管的街上走着，那是大苹果的中间地带的某个地方，在这里，我看见了耀眼光鲜的大都市的另一面。它是阴暗的，到处是不可自拔的吸毒者，还有那些被非正式的宣告为毫无价值的老人们，除了死神，他们没有什么好等。

　　我从来没有梦想过我的梦想会是这个样子，于是我离开了这个地方。我走向市区，这是我犯下的的第一个错误。我在曼哈顿疾驰行走，内心满是迷惑，也由此忘记了那些国际警察。从一来到这里他们就跟上我了，毕竟我是个不被接受的移民者。



　　For a split second I thought I should let them know why I had to come here, so that they would let me subsist here. I wanted to tell them that I am here just to make some money, the legal way. I wanted to earn a lot of money and then I would go back to my roots. I'll go back to where money matters. where men matter only when they've got money. If I get the money, I'll matter too.

　　But of course they wouldn't pay attention. Why should they let me take their riches? It's their country.

　　I was walking offhandedly in a busy street when I felt someone staring at me. I looked at him and he started looking somewhere else. Interpol. I slipped into the crowd and vanished. That was the second mistake I made. I made them suspicious of me. But I was frightened; I didn't know what to do. For next two days I went on hiding. And then I made the final mistake. I met a fellow countryman of mine, rather he met me. He told me he could get me a job. I was running low on cash so I quickly said yes___ and then slowly said no. He wanted me to deal in drugs. I couldn't do that. I wanted to earn money the legal way I told him and said no. He vanished. When I turned around, I saw the same Interpol man looking at me, standing in the corner of the street. Before I could take my first step, he disappeared behind the wall and then I didn't take my first step. I just stood there. It wasn't good. They must have thought I have joined them. But they don't know it. They must be thinking I am one of them, they are thinking wrong. I must tell them I am not what they think I am.

　　有一瞬间我想也许我应该让他们知道我为什么必须来这里，没准他们会愿意让我在这儿待下去。我想告诉他们我只是来挣点钱，合法的挣点钱。我想挣一大笔钱，然后就回家乡去，回那个钱真正管事的地方。在那里，有钱人才是大爷。如果我有了钱，我也是大爷。

　　当然，他们不会理会这个问题，他们凭什么让我拿走他们的财富呢，这毕竟是他们的国家。

　　空着手，走在一条热闹的大街上，我感觉有人在盯着我。我向他看去，他就看别的地方。国际警察。我闪进人丛溜掉了。这是我犯下的第二个错误。这会让他们怀疑我。但我很害怕，我不知道该怎么做。后来的两天，我继续躲躲藏藏。接下来我犯了最致命的错误。我碰到了一个同胞，确切的说，是他碰到了我。他说他能给我找一份工作。因为我的钱快花光了，所以我很快答应了他，又嗫嚅的说了一声"不"。他想让我倒卖毒品。我可不能那么做。我告诉他我想要用合法的方式挣钱，并且拒绝了他。他走了。当我转过身来，却看见那个一直跟着我的国际警察正在盯着我，他站在街道的拐角处。我还没来得及迈开一步，他就躲到墙后不见了，于是我没有动。我就站在那里。那样不好，他们一定以为我和那老乡是一伙的。他们不知道事实，他们一定在想我也是一个贩毒的，但他们想错了。我得告诉他们我不是他们想象的那种人。



　　"You there, come out and talk to me, God * you, I am standing here. You wanna know who I am, all right you come here and I tell you who I am. Come out if you have the heart to listen, I'll tell you how it feels to say no to money. You cowards, what you know how it feels to say no to your dreams. You don't have a dream, you lifeless creatures. And if you don't have one, then why you take them away from others. Tell me, I am standing here！"

　　"嗨，你！出来跟我说话，该死的，我就在这儿。你想知道我是谁吗，好吧，你过来，我会告诉你我是谁。如果你有心听，你就出来，我会告诉你跟钱说不是什么感觉。你这个胆小鬼，你知道对梦想说不是什么感觉吗？你甚至都没有梦想，你这个行尸走肉。如果你没有，那你又为什么要拿走别人的呢。告诉我，我就在这儿！"

　　There was no one listening.

　　根本没有人听。

　　Night has fallen. It never gets dark in night in New York. There are lights everywhere. I am standing in the middle of a bridge, looking at the skyscrapers. Looking at those tall structures seems like millions of fireflies are stuck into those buildings. They are all illuminated and so is the river water. There are dark clouds in the sky and it may rain any time. It's all so beautiful, so peaceful, so dreamy. We are all together, my clouds, my dreams and I. Life looks perfect. But not seeing a problem doesn't mean not having a problem.

　　夜幕降临，但纽约的夜晚永远不会暗淡。到处都是灯。我站在桥中央，看着那些摩天大楼。我看着那些高高的建筑物，感觉就像是有无数的萤火虫在里面飞舞，它们是那么明亮，桥下的河水亦是如此。天上有些乌云，随时都会下雨。一切都如此美丽，如此平静，如此空灵。我们在一起，我的天空，我的梦，还有我。生活看起来如此完美。但是，发现不了问题并不意味着没有问题。

　　On my left, on the corner of the bridge, there is someone to shatter my dreams. He is the same one and this time he is not alone. He knew it was not that easy to snatch away my dreams alone. They are coming to me, but this time I am not willing to talk. They want to send me back. I don't want to go back without money, I want to matter.

　　在我左边，在桥的一角，有个人将要打碎我的梦。还是那个人，这次他不是独自一人。他知道凭他自己的力量要想拿走我的梦想并不那么容易。他们走过来，但这次我不想搭理他们。他们想把我遣送回国，但赚不到钱我才不走，我还想做个大爷呢。

　　So I run. I run to the other corner of the bridge. They run after me. I don't look back at them and keep on running. It's a God *ed long bridge. So many times I watched in movies, policemen chasing the hero and the hero jumps over the bridge and escapes. But this is not a movie and even if it wereI am not a hero.

　　我撒腿就跑到桥的另一个角。他们在后面追，我没有回头看，继续一个劲儿的跑。他*，这桥怎么这么长啊。在电影里，我经常看到警察追英雄的场面，那些英雄总是跳桥逃生。但这不是电影，就算是，我也不是个英雄。

　　So I keep on running. I cross the bridge and run along the road. I keep on running and they keep on chasing me. I turned into so many streets, tried to　dodge them but they were quick. They have been following me for quite some time now.

　　我一直跑。我跑过大桥，到了公路上。我一直跑，他们一直追。我在大街小巷里穿行，妄图甩掉他们，但他们竟然那么快。他们可真是追了我很长时间了。

　　It has started raining. I have no problem running in rain. I have done that before, don't you remember. That time I was running for her love and this time I am running for my life.

　　开始下雨了。在雨中跑步，我可没问题。你别忘了，我以前就这么干过。上次我为了得到她的爱而跑，可这次，我是在为了自己的性命而跑。

　　May be that's why I don't want to run any more, I am running for myself. It makes no difference to no one if I don't run but just me. All right then, I am going to stop. I'll talk to them. I slow down. They turn into this street. I am about to stop when I hear a gun shot. It would have been nothing if I hadn't fallen down. They have shot me in my leg. I turn around and try to get up. They shoot again, this time on my chest near the heart. I fall down again.

　　我在为我自己而跑，也许正是因为如此，我不想再跑下去了。如果我不跑，对任何人都没有任何影响，除了我自己。那好吧，我不跑了。我要跟他们谈谈。我慢了下来。他们也转到这条街上。正当我要停下来的时候，我听见一声枪响。要不是我倒下，什么事情都不会发生。他们打中了我的腿。我转身想要站起来，他们又开了一枪，这次正好打在我的胸部，离心脏很近，我又倒下了。

　　It is dark in New York. I can't see the clouds in the dark but I know they are up there looking at me. It seems they are shedding their tears on my pain. They don't have to cry for me. But I think they care about me, after all they are my clouds.

　　纽约很黑，在黑暗中我看不到云，但我知道它们就在上面看着我。它们好像正在为我的痛楚而留下眼泪，其实他们不必为我哭泣。但也许他们很关心我吧，毕竟它们是我的云。

　　Due to pain, tears come out of my eyes and so my dreams. They were since long in my heart. My heart kept them with love but it can't hold them any more because it is too hurt now. My heart cared about everyone, it just couldn't take care of itself.

　　因为疼痛，我的泪水汹涌而出，我的梦也离我而去。它们在我心里已经那么久了，我的心曾经用爱抚慰它们，但现在已无力将它们挽留，因为它伤得实在太重了。我的心惦记每个人，但它就是没能照顾好自己。

　　I am feeling like a total loser. I have nothing left with me but pain. I am leaving the clouds and all my dreams here. Before closing my eyes forever, I look down to my heart, it's my dreams; I look up in the sky, it's my clouds; and then I look aroundit's your world.

　　我感觉自己是个十足的失败者，除了痛楚我没有留住任何东西。在这里，我离开了我的云和我所有的梦。在永远闭上我的眼睛之前，我低头看心，那还是我的梦；我抬头看天，那依旧是我的云；我环顾四周那却是你们的世界。


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