Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the
longing for love, the search for knowledge, and
unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a
wayward course, over a great ocean of
anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.
I have sought love, first, because it brings
ecstasy -
ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves
loneliness--that terrible
loneliness in which one shivering
consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable
lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a
mysticminiature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what--at last--I have found.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to
apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.
Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in
famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their sons, and the whole world of
loneliness, poverty, and pain make a
mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.
This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would
gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.
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