I had stepped into a new life. Between the man I had been and that which I now became there was a very notable difference. In a single day I had matured astonishingly; which means, no doubt, that I suddenly entered into conscious enjoyment of powers and sensibilities which had been developing unknown to me. To instance only one point: till then I had cared very little about plants and flowers, but now I found myself eagerly interested in every blossom, in every growth of the wayside. As I walked gathered a quantity of plants, promising myself to buy a book on the morrow and identify them all. Nor was it a passing humor; never since have I lost my pleasure in the flowers of the field and my desire to know them all. My ignorance at the time of which I speak seems to me now very shameful; but I was merely in the case of ordinary people, whether living in town or country. How many could give the familiar name of half a dozen plants plucked at a random from beneath the hedge in spring-time? To me the flowers became symbolical of a great release, of a wonderful awakening. My eyes had all at once been opened; till then I had walked in darkness, yet knew it not...

But there is the rustle of branches in the morning breeze; there is the music of a sunny shower against the window; there is the matin song of birds. Several times lately I have lain wakeful when there sounded the first note of the earliest lark; it makes me almost glad of my restless nights. The only trouble that touches me in these moments is the thought of my long life wasted amid the senseless noises of man's world. Year after year this spot has known the same tranquility; with ever so little of good fortune, with ever so little wisdom, beyond what was granted me, I might have blessed my manhood with calm, might have made for myself in later life a long retrospect of bowered peace. As it is, I enjoy with something of sadness remembering that this melodious silence is but the prelude of that deeper stillness which waits to enfold us all.



George Gissing: The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft



我已经走进新的生活。在以前的我和如今转变了的我之间，出现了一个非常显明的不同之处。就在一天之内我变得成熟了，实在令人惊讶；毫无疑问，这种变化意味着我忽然间开始有意识地玩味起具有力量和敏感的万物了，它们一直在演化，我却不知不觉。只要举个例子就看得出来了：在这之前，我很少留意于草木花卉，可是现在我发现自己对路边每朵绽开的鲜花、每根生长的小草都兴趣十足。我一边走着，一边采集了大量植物，许下心愿翌日要去买本书，把它们全部辨认出来。这也不是一时的意兴；从此以后我对野外鲜花的喜好和认识它们的愿望再也没有失去过。当时自己的无知现在看来好不羞愧；不过我只是和普通人的情况一样，不论他们住在城里还是乡下。春天从树篱下面随意摘下好些花草，有多少人能够说出大家熟悉的名称？对我说来，这些花卉象征着一次极大的解脱，一次奇妙的觉醒。我的视线顿时豁然开朗；在这之前我一直在黑暗中行走，却还茫然不觉。......

但是晨风吹拂中可以听见枝桠飒飒有声；阳光中的阵雨洒落在窗口时可以听见音乐；可以听见百鸟啁啾唱起了晨歌。近来我多次躺着无法入睡，因为传来最早的云雀的第一声鸣叫；这使我几乎为自己的多少个不眠之夜感到欣然。这样的时刻唯一触动我的苦恼是想到我漫长的生命虚度在人寰没有意义的喧嚣之中。年夏一年这个所在熟悉了相同的安宁国除了天命所赋，我向来没有更多的好运，向来没有更多的智慧，我本来会平平静静地祝福我生为男人，本来会在以后的人生中为自己创造一个长久值得回顾的得到庇荫的安宁。实际上，我带着几分悲伤喜欢回忆起这种悦耳的沉默只是比较深层的寂静的前奏，它等待着要把我们所有的人笼罩起来。

乔治•吉辛：《四季随笔》
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