Habit number two:

Begin with the end in mind. That 1)literallymeans to begin today with an image or picture of the end of your life as your frame of reference, as the 2)criteria by which you examine everything else in your life.

I want you to think on this for a moment and get yourself into the frame of mind of attending a funeral of a dear one. In your mind??s eye see yourself driving to that funeral, arriving, it??s being held at a church, getting yourself situated in the back seat. And you come to a growing awareness that it is your funeral, that it is you in that 3)casket, three years from now. There are four speakers. The place ispacked. And there's a great feeling of love, appreciation, and 4)resonating value of this person, your life. The four speakers are these: one from your family -- not just your 5)nuclear family, but aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents have come from all around the country to attend; one from your friends that give a sense of what you were as a person, as a friend; one from your work, your profession, or outside activity; and one from your church or some community organization where you've been involved in giving service. Now think, what would you like to have said, three years from now, about you as a member of an 6)in-tergenerational 7)extended family, as a friend, as a working 8)associate, or a public servant? What would you like to have said about your character, about your contributions, and about your achievements? Think carefully on those roles, and write the 9)eulogies.

This habit, to begin with the end in mind, means to start with a clear understanding of your destination and it's based on the principle that all things are created twice.

There are always two creations. Thephysical creation follows the mental creation. Take the building or the house that you're in now. It was created in every detail before the earth was touched. Right or wrong. If wrong, you've got some pretty expensive change orders in that structure that might have significantly increased the cost of it, even doubled the cost of it. The carpenter's rule holds true: measure twice, cut once.

So what's habit two? Simply begin with the end in mind. Decide what your own value system is. Write your own philosophy, your own mission statement, your own 10)creed, your belief system and get it written into your mind and into your heart, through the use of imagination and your emotion. Don't tie yourself to your history. Tie yourself to your potential. And if you learn to imagine vividly enough and to also 11)draw heavily upon the inner sense or conscious of what is right or wrong, you will come to detect the most fundamental principles that pertain to your life. And you can 12)distill them in the form of a mission statement or a value system or a purpose statement; whatever you wish to call it. This is the essence of habit two.



积极人生从7个习惯开始



习惯二：在思想上要以终为始。照字面意思来解就是在今天开始的时候，脑子里想一想你在生命终点的情景，以此作为参考框架，作为你检测其他事情的依据。

我希望你们能好好地思考这番话，然后想像自己去参加一个至亲好友的葬礼。你的脑海里浮现着这样的画面：看到自己驾车到葬礼上去，到达了，葬礼在教堂举行，你在后排坐下。你渐渐地想到自己的葬礼，三年之后，躺在那棺材里的人会是你。发言人有四位，参加者云集一堂。人们对你的人与你的一生心怀关爱、感到欣赏与认同。四位发言人分别是：一位来自你家--除了你的家人外，姑姨、叔舅、表亲、祖父祖母全从全国各地赶来参加；一位是你的友人，从朋友立场上评价你的为人；一位来自你工作、职业或社交活动的领域；还有一位来自于你曾经参与并作出过服务的教会或者某团体组织。现在考虑一下，你希望三年之后，人们将怎样从一名几世同堂的大家庭的成员、一个朋友、一位同事、或一个公仆的角色来评价你？你希望人们将怎样评论你的性格、贡献和成就？仔细地想想你的这些角色，给自己写悼词。

在思想上以终为始这个习惯的意思就是要你明确最终目的，它是基于"万物皆经由两度而成"的原理得出的。

创造总是经过两次完成的。在思想创造之后有实际创造。拿你们现在所位于的大楼来说吧，在动土之前它的每个细节早就给设定好了。对也罢错也罢。如果错了，你要改变结构则要付出昂贵的代价，费用也许会大幅增长，甚至翻倍。木匠有条规矩是千真万确的：度量两次才动手。

那么习惯二是什么呢？就是在思想上要以终为始。决定好你的自我价值体系。写下自己的哲学，自我计划、自我信条、自我信仰体系，通过运用想象和情感把这些牢记在你的脑海中、你的心里。不要把自己拘束在以往的历史上，让自己依附于潜能之上。如果你能学着去生动地想象，并开发好内在意识，辨察是非，你就能找到适合你一生的最基本原则。你就可以从行动计划，或价值体系，或目标计划--随你怎么叫吧--的形式中提取出你的原则来。这就是习惯二的精髓所在。



1) literally adv. 照字面意义地 2) criteria n. 标准

3) casket n. 棺材

4) resonate v. 共鸣，共振

5) nuclear family 核心家庭，指只包括父母和子女的家庭

6) intergenerational a. 两代间的 7) extended family 大家庭

8) associate n. 同事，合作人 9) eulogy n. 颂词，赞美词

10) creed n. 信条

11) draw upon 利用，取，并驾齐驱 12) distill v. 蒸馏，提取



19 THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE



Habit three, the management habit, is put first things first. This habit deals with many of the questions addressed in the field of time management. The real challenge is not actually to manage time but to manage yourself, to gain control of time and events in your life by seeing how they relate to your mission.

Take a moment now to draw a square on a piece of paper. Then, make a cross within the square dividing it into four smaller squares. What you've just drawn is a time management 1)matrix. And the four squares are called 2)quadrants. Label the four quadrants this way: label quadrant 1 "Urgent and Important", quadrant 2 "Not Urgent and Important", quadrant 3 "Urgent and Not Important", and quadrant 4 "Not Urgent and Not Important".

And in business, Dr. Covey has found that quadrant two is the key to management.

Prado, the great Italian philosopher in the field of efficiency, came up with what's called the "eighty-twenty" rule. Eighty percent of the results flow from twenty percent of the activities. Those are all quadrant two activities. All of them.

What do you think happens to quadrant one if you neglect quadrant two? If you neglect prevention, what's going to happen to problems? It's going to grow and grow until there's almost no other quadrants. It may consume your life. That's called management by crisis, and management by crisis just 3)beats you up, 4)burns you out. 5)Fatigues 6)ya. Gets very, very large.

What's going to happen to quadrant one if you attend to quadrant two? Gets smaller and smaller. You'll still have some of it. Things you hadn't anticipated at all. Constant changes in our environment will create some of that. But it'll be manageable. It'll be 7)workable. But you'll always have the sense that you're working on 8)prevention and seizing new opportunities.

Now when are you going to get the time and attention to get into quadrant two? That has to come from three and four. Quadrant four is totallyworthless quadrant. Can you name one thing of any value or worth in quadrant four? Leisure. Is leisure important? Yes. Then it's quadrant two. There's nothing of worth or value in quadrant four. Quadrant three also is essentially without value except on the part of other people.

So, basically, you get your time for quadrant two from three and four. You just keep doing it. You just keep stealing a little from quadrant three and quadrant four. Learn to say no, pleasantly, smilingly, happily, but say no. Because in saying no to quadrant three and four, you're saying yes to quadrant two, and when you say yes to quadrant two, you make quadrant one increasingly small. And you're working on thingsthat will matter most, not on things that will matter least. "Things which matter most", Gerta wrote, "must never be at the mercy of things which matter least."

However, the problem is it takes certain capacities to work on quadrant two. What's the fundamental capacity? We've already talked about it. What is it? You have to proactive. Why? Quadrant one 9)works on you. Quadrant one 10)acts on you. Quadrant two must be acted upon. We are made in our essential humanity to act and not be acted upon. That's quadrant two. All deep relationship building, quadrant two. Planning and organizing, quadrant two. Personal preparation, quadrant two. Exercise, quadrant two. Reading - broad, deep reading, continuing education, quadrant two.

Quadrant two is the key.



积极人生从7个习惯开始



第三个习惯，管理习惯，分清事情的轻重缓急。这个习惯可以解决许多时间安排方面的问题。其实挑战之处不在于时间的安排，而是自我安排，根据时间、事物与工作任务之间的关联来进行有效的安排。

现在请在纸上画一个正方形。在正中画一个十字将正方形分割成四个小方块。这是一个时间安排矩阵。四个小方块称为象限。为每一个象限做上标记，在第一个象限内写下"紧急重要"，在第二个象限内写下"重要但不紧急"，在第三个象限内写下"紧急但不重要"，在第四个象限内写下"不紧急不重要"。

在商业中，科维博士发现象限二是管理的关键。

意大利效率领域的著名哲学家普拉多提出了"80-20"规则。即有80%的结果是从20%的活动中产生的。这些全都是象限二的活动。全都是。

如果忽视了象限二，那么象限一会怎样呢？如果你不采取预防措施，会发生什么问题呢？它会无限膨大直至其他象限近于消失。它也许会耗尽你整个一生。这叫"管理危机"，管理危机会使你惶恐不安、筋疲力竭、一事无成。问题变得非常、非常严重。

如果你留意象限二，那象限一又会怎样呢？会变得越来越小。有一些事情你还是会归入象限一。一些你根本没有预料到的事。经常变换环境会产生一些这样的事情。但这是易于管理的，也是可行的。你经常会有一种未雨绸缪和抓住新机遇的感觉。

那么象限二的时间和精力将从哪里获得呢？从象限三和象限四获得。象限四是毫无用处的。你能想出一件事情毫无任何意义，从而可以归入象限四吗？休闲。休闲重要吗？当然。那它当然应该归入象限二。没有什么事情毫无意义可以归入象限四，象限三也基本上没什么意义，除非是对他人来说。

这样，你从象限三和象限四为象限二赢得了时间。你只要坚持这样做，只要不断地从象限三和象限四中偷出一点儿时间。学会说不，愉快地、微笑地、高兴地，但是要说不。因为对象限三和象限四说不就意味着对象限二说好，当你对象限二说好的时候，你就把象限一变得非常小了。你做的事情都是重要的，而不是无足轻重的。格塔曾写道："重要的事情永远不要对无足轻重的事情让位。"

但问题是，象限二的工作需要一定的能力。什么是基本能力？我们已经谈过这一点。是什么呢？是积极向上的态度。为什么？因为象限一影响着你、支配着你。而象限二是受你支配的。人的本性是支配而不是受支配。这就是象限二。所有亲密关系的建立、计划和组织、个人准备、锻炼、广泛地阅读、细读、继续深造，都可以归入象限二。

象限二是关键。



1) matrix n. 矩阵

2) quadrant n. 象限，四分仪

3) beat up: 惊扰；（俚语）痛殴

4) burn out: （炉等）因燃料缺乏而停烧

5) fatigue vt. 使疲劳，使心智衰弱 6) ya: 即口语化的"you"。

7) workable a. 可经营的，可使用的 8) prevention n. 预防，防止

9) work on: 设法说服，影响

10) act on: 对......起作用；按照......行动



16 THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE



　 Watch the three habits: four, five and six.

First, think win win. Say to the person something like this, "Why don't we agree to communicate until we can find a solution we both feel good about? Would you be willing to do that?" In almost all cases, people will say yes to you.

Now watch habit five. Let me listen to you first. Most people do the very opposite. They want to first be understood. And when both parties want to be understood 1)simultaneously, that's called the 2)collective 3)monologue, the dialogue of the deaf. They're not really listening, they're either speaking or preparing their speech. So the fifth habit is communicate, first by listening, then expressing.

Now what's habit six? That's where you're very creative and you think through new and better ways, new and better solutions. For instance, let's say that I want to go on a vacation out into the lake country, and you want to go on a vacation closer to your 4)ailing mother. It's important to you. The other is important to me. I've looked forward to it. I'm a fisherman at heart. The boys are excited about it. But your mother is ailing and you don't have an opportunity to see her very much. And that's important to you.

Now, if I'm deep into 5)authoritarianism, I might say, "I don't really care what you think that much, when I want your opinion I'll give it to you. We're going fishing. Or I'll 6)beat it out of you." Or if I'm into 6)martyrdom, I might say, "Well, have your way with me." It's the way it always is. I always lose. In the former case I'm into win-lose. In the latter I'm into lose-win.

Or we could apply habits four, five and six. Assuming we have an abundant mentality and enough internal security to carry on this communication, and say, "Let's agree to communicate until we can find a solution we both feel good about, would you be willing?" "Alright, let's do it." "Let me listen to you first. I understand that visiting with your mother is so important because you haven't seen her for this, and here's your situation and you can 7)relieve your sister who've been taking care of her." And you keep expressing until the other person feels deeply understood. "But you know what we've been doing with these boys? And how much time and effort we've been giving to their lessons, and they want to get into this 8)fly-fishing, and it's just the perfect situation?"

And then I am understood. I am 9)empathized to. And the spirit of mutual understanding creates such an affirmation, such a respect for each other. We're not going to go for lose-win, or win-lose, nor are we going to 10)compromise. We create new 11)options, new 12)alternatives in our minds. We find a lake near the mother. Maybe it's not as good as the lake we had prepared, but I feel much better about it, because I respect my wife. And I love her, and I love her mother, and want to attend to that important need in a way that would also meet my boys' need to have an expression of their fishing opportunity. It's a win-win solution.

Is it compromise? No. It's a better solution.

Some might say it's compromise, you really wanted to go to this lake. You're compromising. Not so. I really don't. Because I care about my wife and I care about her mother. Neither is it a compromise to her. She doesn't want to see those boys just climbing walls while she tends to her mother, takes care of her, has some good family visits. She likes to see those boys involved in doing the thing they'd been preparing to do. So they go for a win-win solution.

Now this little story could be 13)amplified in any 14)conceivable situation, my friends. Seriously, I am convinced that almost without an exception, if people practice four, five and six, they can take almost any difference, and produce a third alternative better than either of the other two.



积极人生从7个习惯开始



看看第四、第五和第六这三个习惯。

首先，思考双赢的方案。向别人这么说："我们何不继续交流，直到我们找到一个双方都感到满意的解决方案？你愿不愿意呢？"几乎每次人们都会说好的。

现在来看看第五个习惯。让我首先来倾听。许多人做的与此恰恰相反。他们希望首先被了解。当双方同时都希望被了解的时候，我们称这种情况为"集体独白"，是聋子的对话。没人在认真地倾听，他们不是在讲话就是在准备讲话。因此第五个习惯是：在交流时先倾听后表达。

那么第六个习惯是什么？在那是，你要发挥创造力想出新的、更好的方法，想出新的、更好的解决方案。举个例子说，假设我要到乡村湖畔去度假，但你希望度假的地方离你生病的母亲近一些。这对你很重要。另一个则对我很重要。我一直盼望着到那里去。我打心眼里盼望当个渔夫。孩子们为此跃跃欲试。但你的母亲生了病，你没什么机会去探望她。而那对你又是重要的。

如果我是个极端霸道的人，我或许会说："我才不管你想什么，我不需要听你的意见，我告诉你就好了。我们要去钓鱼。你不去也要去。"又或者我是个富有牺牲精神的人，我会说："好吧，我听你的。"向来总也如此。我总是让步。在前一种情况中，我得到了赢输。在后一种情况中，我得到的是输赢。

或者我们可以应用上第四、第五、第六个习惯。假设我们的才智与内心安全足够以进行交流，并说："我们继续交流，直到找到一个我们双方都感到满意的解决方案，你愿不愿意呢？""好的，就这样吧。""我先听你说。我明白你需要去探望母亲，因为你缘于此原因没去看望过她，你的情况如此，你要去换换你姐姐，是她一直在照顾母亲。"你不停地解释，直到对方感到被深深地理解了。"可你知道我们在这些孩子身上花了多少心思吗？我们花了多少时间与精力给他们上课，而且他们想去钓鱼，现在正是最好不过的时机？"

于是我得到了理解。我就得到了体谅。这种相互理解的精神为双方创建出一种肯定、一种尊敬。我们没采取输赢或赢输策略，我们也用不着妥协。我们创建了新的选择，思想中的新抉择。我们在靠近母亲的地方找了个湖泊。也许它不如我们原计划中的湖那么好，但我的感觉好多了，因为我尊重了我的妻子。我爱她，爱她的母亲，我想办法将这个重要的需要传达给我的孩子们，既满足他们的需要，也令钓鱼的事情有了解释。这是个双赢的策略。

这是妥协吗？不，这是个更好的解决办法。

有的人或许会说，这是个妥协，你真正想去的是这个湖。你在做出让步。并非如此。我没有让步。因为我关心我的妻子，关心她的母亲。对她而言这也不是妥协。她也不想在照顾母亲、照料她、与亲人欢聚的时候看到孩子只有墙爬。她希望看到孩子们一直在准备做的事情没有落空。所以他们得到的是双赢的方案。

好了，朋友们，这个小故事可以延伸到任何一种想得到的情况中去。认真地说，我确信这几乎没有例外，如果人们贯彻应用第四、第五和第六个习惯，他们将能发现差别，产生比其他两个方案更好的第三种选择来。



1) simultaneously adv. 同时地

2) collective a. 集体的

3) monologue n. 独白

4) ailing a. 生病的，情况不佳的

5) authoritarianism n. 权力主义，独裁主义

6) martyrdom n. 牺牲，殉难

7) relieve v. 减轻，换班

8) fly-fishing n. 用假蝇钓鱼

9) empathize v. 神入，移情

10) compromise n. 妥协

11) option n. 选择

12) alternative n. 二中择一的选择

13) amplify v. 放大

14) conceivable a. 想得到的
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