The first battle, fought and finished," Martin said to the looking-glass ten days later. "But there will be a second battle, and a third battle, and battles to the end of time, unless - "
He had not finished the sentence, but looked about the mean little room and let his eyes dwell sadly upon a heap of returned manuscripts, still in their long envelopes, which lay in a corner on the floor. He had no stamps with which to continue them on their travels, and for a week they had been piling up. More of them would come in on the
morrow, and on the next day, and the next, till they were all in. And he would be unable to start them out again. He was a month's rent behind on the
typewriter, which he could not pay, having barely enough for the week's board which was due and for the employment office fees.
He sat down and regarded the table
thoughtfully. There were ink stains upon it, and he suddenly discovered that he was fond of it.
"Dear old table," he said, "I've spent some happy hours with you, and you've been a pretty good friend when all is said and done. You never turned me down, never passed me out a reward-of-unmerit rejection slip, never complained about working overtime."
He dropped his arms upon the table and buried his face in them. His throat was aching, and he wanted to cry. It reminded him of his first fight, when he was six years old, when he punched away with the tears running down his cheeks while the other boy, two years his elder, had beaten and pounded him into
exhaustion. He saw the ring of boys, howling like barbarians as he went down at last, writhing in the throes of nausea, the blood streaming from his nose and the tears from his bruised eyes.
"Poor little shaver," he murmured. "And you're just as badly licked now. You're beaten to a pulp. You're down and out."
But the vision of that first fight still lingered under his eyelids, and as he watched he saw it dissolve and reshape into the series of fights which had followed. Six months later Cheese-Face (that was the boy) had whipped him again. But he had blacked Cheese-Face's eye that time. That was going some. He saw them all, fight after fight, himself always whipped and Cheese-Face exulting over him. But he had never run away. He felt strengthened by the memory of that. He had always stayed and taken his medicine. Cheese-Face had been a little fiend at fighting, and had never once shown mercy to him. But he had stayed! He had stayed with it!
Next, he saw a narrow alley, between ramshackle frame buildings. The end of the alley was blocked by a one-story brick building, out of which issued the rhythmic thunder of the presses, running off the first
edition of the ENQUIRER. He was eleven, and Cheese-Face was thirteen, and they both carried the ENQUIRER. That was why they were there, waiting for their papers. And, of course, Cheese- Face had picked on him again, and there was another fight that was indeterminate, because at quarter to four the door of the press- room was thrown open and the gang of boys
crowded in to fold their papers.
"I'll lick you to-
morrow," he heard Cheese-Face promise; and he heard his own voice, piping and trembling with unshed tears, agreeing to be there on the
morrow.
And he had come there the next day, hurrying from school to be there first, and
beating Cheese-Face by two minutes. The other boys said he was all right, and gave him advice, pointing out his faults as a scrapper and promising him victory if he carried out their instructions. The same boys gave Cheese-Face advice, too. How they had enjoyed the fight! He paused in his recollections long enough to envy them the spectacle he and Cheese-Face had put up. Then the fight was on, and it went on, without rounds, for thirty minutes, until the press-room door was opened.
He watched the youthful
apparition of himself, day after day, hurrying from school to the ENQUIRER alley. He could not walk very fast. He was stiff and lame from the
incessant fighting. His forearms were black and blue from wrist to elbow, what of the
countless blows he had warded off, and here and there the tortured flesh was beginning to fester. His head and arms and shoulders ached, the small of his back ached, - he ached all over, and his brain was heavy and dazed. He did not play at school. Nor did he study. Even to sit still all day at his desk, as he did, was a
torment. It seemed centuries since he had begun the round of daily fights, and time stretched away into a
nightmare and
infinite future of daily fights. Why couldn't Cheese-Face be licked? he often thought; that would put him, Martin, out of his misery. It never entered his head to cease fighting, to allow Cheese-Face to whip him.
And so he dragged himself to the ENQUIRER alley, sick in body and soul, but learning the long patience, to
confront his eternal enemy, Cheese-Face, who was just as sick as he, and just a bit willing to quit if it were not for the gang of newsboys that looked on and made pride
painful and necessary. One afternoon, after twenty minutes of desperate efforts to
annihilate each other according to set rules that did not permit kicking, striking below the belt, nor hitting when one was down, Cheese-Face, panting for breath and reeling, offered to call it quits. And Martin, head on arms, thrilled at the picture he caught of himself, at that moment in the afternoon of long ago, when he reeled and panted and choked with the blood that ran into his mouth and down his throat from his cut lips; when he tottered toward Cheese-Face, spitting out a
mouthful of blood so that he could speak, crying out that he would never quit, though Cheese-Face could give in if he wanted to. And Cheese-Face did not give in, and the fight went on.
The next day and the next, days without end, witnessed the afternoon fight. When he put up his arms, each day, to begin, they pained
exquisitely, and the first few blows, struck and received, racked his soul; after that things grew numb, and he fought on
blindly,
seeing as in a dream, dancing and wavering, the large features and burning, animal-like eyes of Cheese-Face. He concentrated upon that face; all else about him was a whirling void. There was nothing else in the world but that face, and he would never know rest,
blessed rest, until he had beaten that face into a pulp with his bleeding
knuckles, or until the bleeding
knuckles that somehow belonged to that face had beaten him into a pulp. And then, one way or the other, he would have rest. But to quit, - for him, Martin, to quit, - that was impossible!
Came the day when he dragged himself into the ENQUIRER alley, and there was no Cheese-Face. Nor did Cheese-Face come. The boys congratulated him, and told him that he had licked Cheese-Face. But Martin was not satisfied. He had not licked Cheese-Face, nor had Cheese-Face licked him. The problem had not been solved. It was not until afterward that they
learned that Cheese-Face's father had died suddenly that very day.
Martin skipped on through the years to the night in the nigger heaven at the Auditorium. He was seventeen and just back from sea. A row started. Somebody was bullying somebody, and Martin interfered, to be
confronted by Cheese-Face's blazing eyes.
"I'll fix you after de show," his ancient enemy hissed.
Martin nodded. The nigger-heaven bouncer was making his way toward the disturbance.
"I'll meet you outside, after the last act," Martin whispered, the while his face showed undivided interest in the buck-and-wing dancing on the stage.
The bouncer glared and went away.
"Got a gang?" he asked Cheese-Face, at the end of the act.
"Sure."
"Then I got to get one," Martin announced.
Between the acts he mustered his following - three fellows he knew from the nail works, a railroad
fireman, and half a dozen of the Boo Gang, along with as many more from the dread Eighteen-and- Market Gang.
When the theatre let out, the two gangs strung along inconspicuously on opposite sides of the street. When they came to a quiet corner, they united and held a council of war.
"Eighth Street Bridge is the place," said a red-headed fellow belonging to Cheese-Face's Gang. "You kin fight in the middle, under the electric light, an'
whichever way the bulls come in we kin sneak the other way."
"That's agreeable to me," Martin said, after consulting with the leaders of his own gang.
The Eighth Street Bridge, crossing an arm of San Antonio Estuary, was the length of three city blocks. In the middle of the
bridge, and at each end, were electric lights. No policeman could pass those end-lights
unseen. It was the safe place for the battle that revived itself under Martin's eyelids. He saw the two gangs,
aggressive and
sullen,
rigidly keeping apart from each other and backing their
respective champions; and he saw himself and Cheese- Face stripping. A short distance away lookouts were set, their task being to watch the lighted ends of the
bridge. A member of the Boo Gang held Martin's coat, and shirt, and cap, ready to race with them into safety in case the police interfered. Martin watched himself go into the centre, facing Cheese-Face, and he heard himself say, as he held up his hand warningly:-
"They ain't no hand-shakin' in this. Understand? They ain't nothin' but scrap. No throwin' up the
sponge. This is a grudge- fight an' it's to a finish. Understand? Somebody's goin' to get licked."
Cheese-Face wanted to demur, - Martin could see that, - but Cheese- Face's old
perilous pride was touched before the two gangs.
"Aw, come on," he replied. "Wot's the good of chewin' de rag about it? I'm wit' cheh to de finish."
Then they fell upon each other, like young bulls, in all the glory of youth, with naked fists, with hatred, with desire to hurt, to maim, to destroy. All the
painful, thousand years' gains of man in his upward climb through creation were lost. Only the electric light remained, a milestone on the path of the great human adventure. Martin and Cheese-Face were two savages, of the stone age, of the squatting place and the tree refuge. They sank lower and lower into the muddy abyss, back into the dregs of the raw beginnings of life, striving
blindly and chemically, as atoms
strive, as the star-dust if the heavens
strives, colliding, recoiling, and colliding again and
eternally again.
"God! We are animals! Brute-beasts!" Martin muttered aloud, as he watched the progress of the fight. It was to him, with his splendid power of vision, like gazing into a kinetoscope. He was both onlooker and participant. His long months of culture and
refinement shuddered at the sight; then the present was blotted out of his
consciousness and the ghosts of the past possessed him, and he was Martin Eden, just returned from sea and fighting Cheese-Face on the Eighth Street Bridge. He suffered and toiled and sweated and bled, and exulted when his naked
knuckles smashed home.
They were twin whirlwinds of hatred, revolving about each other monstrously. The time passed, and the two hostile gangs became very quiet. They had never witnessed such
intensity of
ferocity, and they were awed by it. The two fighters were greater brutes than they. The first splendid velvet edge of youth and condition wore off, and they fought more
cautiously and
deliberately. There had been no advantage gained either way. "It's anybody's fight," Martin heard some one
saying. Then he followed up a feint, right and left, was fiercely countered, and felt his cheek laid open to the bone. No bare
knuckle had done that. He heard mutters of amazement at the
ghastly damage wrought, and was drenched with his own blood. But he gave no sign. He became
immensely wary, for he was wise with knowledge of the low cunning and foul vileness of his kind. He watched and waited, until he feigned a wild rush, which he stopped
midway, for he had seen the glint of metal.
"Hold up yer hand!" he screamed. "Them's brass
knuckles, an' you hit me with 'em!"
Both gangs surged forward, growling and snarling. In a second there would be a free-for-all fight, and he would be robbed of his
vengeance. He was beside himself.
"You guys keep out!" he screamed
hoarsely. "Understand? Say, d'ye understand?"
They
shrank away from him. They were brutes, but he was the arch- brute, a thing of terror that towered over them and dominated them.
"This is my scrap, an' they ain't goin' to be no buttin' in. Gimme them
knuckles."
Cheese-Face, sobered and a bit frightened, surrendered the foul weapon.
"You passed 'em to him, you red-head sneakin' in behind the push there," Martin went on, as he tossed the
knuckles into the water. "I seen you, an' I was wonderin' what you was up to. If you try anything like that again, I'll beat cheh to death. Understand?"
They fought on, through
exhaustion and beyond, to
exhaustion immeasurable and inconceivable, until the crowd of brutes, its blood-lust sated, terrified by what it saw, begged them impartially to cease. And Cheese-Face, ready to drop and die, or to stay on his legs and die, a grisly monster out of whose features all
likeness to Cheese-Face had been beaten, wavered and hesitated; but Martin sprang in and smashed him again and again.
Next, after a
seeming century or so, with Cheese-Face weakening fast, in a mix-up of blows there was a loud snap, and Martin's right arm dropped to his side. It was a broken bone. Everybody heard it and knew; and Cheese-Face knew, rushing like a tiger in the other's
extremity and raining blow on blow. Martin's gang surged forward to interfere. Dazed by the rapid succession of blows, Martin warned them back with vile and earnest curses sobbed out and groaned in
ultimatedesolation and despair.
He punched on, with his left hand only, and as he punched,
doggedly, only half-conscious, as from a remote distance he heard murmurs of fear in the gangs, and one who said with shaking voice: "This ain't a scrap, fellows. It's murder, an' we ought to stop it."
But no one stopped it, and he was glad, punching on
wearily and endlessly with his one arm, battering away at a bloody something before him that was not a face but a horror, an oscillating,
hideous, gibbering,
nameless thing that persisted before his wavering vision and would not go away. And he punched on and on, slower and slower, as the last shreds of
vitality oozed from him, through centuries and aeons and enormous lapses of time, until, in a dim way, he became aware that the
nameless thing was sinking, slowly sinking down to the rough board-planking of the
bridge. And the next moment he was standing over it, staggering and swaying on shaky legs, clutching at the air for support, and
saying in a voice he did not recognize:-
"D'ye want any more? Say, d'ye want any more?"
He was still
saying it, over and over, - demanding, entreating, threatening, to know if it wanted any more, - when he felt the fellows of his gang laying hands on him, patting him on the back and
trying to put his coat on him. And then came a sudden rush of
blackness and oblivion.
The tin alarm-clock on the table ticked on, but Martin Eden, his face buried on his arms, did not hear it. He heard nothing. He did not think. So absolutely had he relived life that he had fainted just as he fainted years before on the Eighth Street Bridge. For a full minute the
blackness and the blankness endured. Then, like one from the dead, he sprang
upright, eyes
flaming, sweat pouring down his face, shouting:-
"I licked you, Cheese-Face! It took me eleven years, but I licked you!"
His knees were trembling under him, he felt faint, and he staggered back to the bed, sinking down and sitting on the edge of it. He was still in the clutch of the past. He looked about the room, perplexed, alarmed, wondering where he was, until he caught sight of the pile of manuscripts in the corner. Then the wheels of memory slipped ahead through four years of time, and he was aware of the present, of the books he had opened and the
universe he had won from their pages, of his dreams and ambitions, and of his love for a pale wraith of a girl,
sensitive and sheltered and
ethereal, who would die of horror did she witness but one moment of what he had just lived through - one moment of all the muck of life through which he had waded.
He arose to his feet and
confronted himself in the looking-glass.
"And so you arise from the mud, Martin Eden," he said
solemnly. "And you
cleanse your eyes in a great
brightness, and thrust your shoulders among the stars, doing what all life has done, letting the 'ape and tiger die' and wresting highest
heritage from all powers that be."
He looked more closely at himself and laughed.
"A bit of
hysteria and melodrama, eh?" he queried. "Well, never mind. You licked Cheese-Face, and you'll lick the editors if it takes twice eleven years to do it in. You can't stop here. You've got to go on. It's to a finish, you know."
"第一仗打过了,打完了,"十天后马丁对着镜子说."还会有第二仗,第三仗.直打到时间的尽头,除非--"
话还没说完,他回头看了看那间寒伧的小屋,目光落在一堆退稿上,装在长信封里的份份退稿躺在地板角落山地里。他再没有邮票打发它们去周游了,一个礼拜以来退稿在不断堆积。明天还会有更多的退稿要来,还有后天,大后天,直到稿子全部退回。而他已无法再把它们打发出去了。他已有一个月没交打字机租金,因为交不出。他的钱只勉强够这一周已到期的膳宿费和职业介绍所的手续费。
他坐了下来,心事重重地望着桌子。桌子上有墨水印迹,他突然发现自己很爱这桌子。
"亲爱的老桌子,"他说,"我跟你一起度过了一段快乐的时光。归根到底你对我还是够朋友的,从来不拒绝为找做事,从来不给我一份退稿条用以回答我的太能,也从来没有抱怨过加班加点。"
他双肘往桌上一搁,便把脸埋了过去,他喉头硬塞,想哭。这让他想起他第一次打架。那时他六岁。他眼泪汪汪地不停地打着。比他大两岁的那个孩子拳头耳光直打得他精疲力竭。在他终于倒下的时候他看见那一圈男孩子像野蛮人一样嚎叫着。他痛得扭来扭去想呕吐,鼻子鲜血直流,受伤的眼睛眼泪直淌。
"可怜的小伙子,"他喃喃地说,"你现在又遭到了惨败,被打成了肉泥。你给打倒了,退场了。"
但那第一场架的幻影还在他眼帘下留存。他仔细一看,又见它融化开去,变作此后的多次打架。六个月之后干酪脸(他那对手)又把他打败了,却也被他打青了眼睛。那些仗打得可不简单。他一仗一仗都看到了,每一仗他都挨揍,干酪脸在他面前耀武扬威。但他从来没有逃走过。想到这一点他便有了力气。打不过就挨揍,却决不逃走。干酪脸打起架来是个小魔鬼,对他从不手软,但他总能挺住!总能挺住!
然后,他看到了一条狭窄的胡同,两旁是歪歪倒倒的棚屋。胡同尽头叫一栋一楼一底的砖房堵住,砖房里发出印刷机有节奏的轰鸣,第一期《探询者》报就是在这儿出版的。他那时十一岁,干酪脸十三岁。两人都送《探询者》,都在那儿等报纸。当然,干酪脸又跟他找碴,于是又打了一架。这一架胜负不分,因为三点三刻印刷车间大门一开报童们就挤进去折报纸了。
"我明天准收拾你,"他听见干酪脸向他保证,也听见自己尖细而颤抖的声音忍住了眼泪答应明天在那儿见。
第二天他果然去了,从学校匆匆赶去,抢先到达,两分钟后就跟干酿脸干了起来。别的孩子说他是好样的,给他参谋,指出他拼打中的毛病,说要是他照他们的主意打他准能赢。他们也给干酪脸参谋,出点子。那一仗他们看得好开心!他停止了回忆,却来羡慕那群孩子所看到的他跟干酪脸那场精彩表演。两人打了起来,打得难分难解,打了三十分钟,直打到印刷车间开门。
他观看着自己的幻影一天一天从学校匆匆赶到《探询者》胡同去。他行动不便了,因为天天打架,腿僵了,瘸了。因为挡开了数不清的拳头,他的前臂从手腕到手肘被打得青一块紫一块,有些地方还溃脓了。他的脑袋、胳臂、肩头、后腰都疼,全身都疼,脑袋沉重,发晕。在学校他不玩,也不读书,甚至像他现在这样在桌子边安安静静坐上一天,也是一种折磨。自从每天一架开始,日子便长得可怕,时间流驶成了梦魇,未来只是无穷无尽的每天一架。他常常想他为什么就打不败干酪脸?打败了他,可不就脱离苦海了么?可他从没有想到过不打,没想到过向干酪脸认输。