It's one of the diciest challenges of office politics, one that invades the cubicle farm and
executive suite alike: How to deal with workplace whiners.
是办公室政治最棘手的挑战之一,无论是格子间的普通员工还是坐在套间里的高管阶层都逃不过它的侵袭:如何与职场中爱发牢骚的人打交道。
While it's often best to walk away, that can be difficult in today's team-based workplace, where many people work closely in groups.
一般来说,最好是敬而远之,不过在如今以团队为基础的职场中会很难,因为大家往往都是在小组中紧密合作的。
Trying to stay
neutral by just listening and nodding can backfire, says Dana Brownlee,
founder of Professionalism Matters, a corporate-training firm in Atlanta. 'Before you know it, there's another
version of the story circulating,
saying you were the one
saying something
negative about the VP. And they're talking about you over by the Coke machine.'
亚特兰大企业培训公司Professionalism Matters创始人布朗利(Dana Brownlee)说,如果想保持中立,只是听对方说话并频频点头,很容易会惹火烧身。他说,"在你不知情的情况下就会传出另外一个版本的说法,说你是那个说副总裁坏话的人,而且别人会在可乐贩卖机旁边议论你。"
It can be tough to object without
seeming self-righteous. 'If you approach someone about their complaining, they may take it in a completely wrong way, and then you've alienated them,' says Jon Gordon, an author, consultant and
founder of a Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla., training firm. It's better to try to bond with co-workers, while
setting an example by not griping yourself, he says.
要想在不让人觉得自以为是的情况下提出反对意见会很难。佛罗里达庞特韦德拉比奇(Ponte Vedra Beach)一家培训公司的创始人、作家及顾问戈登(Jon Gordon)说,"如果你针对其他人的牢骚发表看法,他们可能会完全曲解,然后就会和你疏远。"他说,最好是努力和同事搞好关系的同时以身作则,自己不要发牢骚。
When Kris Whitehead joined a new
employer several years ago, his colleagues'
frequent work complaints 'had a direct
impact on my
ability to sell,' says the Nashua, N.H., salesman. With the
economy in a slump, 'I had the same secret fears' of
failure being voiced by co-workers, he says. Staying upbeat 'was an
extremelyarduous task.'
新罕布什尔州纳舒厄(Nashua)从事销售工作的怀特海德(Kris Whitehead)说,他在几年前加入一家新公司时,同事们对工作的频繁抱怨"对我销售的能力产生了直接影响"。他说,由于经济处于萧条状态,和同事们一样,"我心里也会害怕失败",保持乐观"是件极其艰难的事"。
But when he suggested to colleagues that they focus instead on solutions,'nobody wanted to listen,' he says. Plus, 'people started talking about me at the water cooler.'
他说,但当他建议同事不要抱怨,而是关注解决之道时,没人愿意听,而且"大家还开始在饮水机旁边议论我"。
Mr. Whitehead started
reading books on personal development and worked on bonding with colleagues. As he posted gains in sales, co-workers warmed up and his boss recently asked him to help train new hires. 'People seem to listen better when you produce,' Mr. Whitehead says.
怀特海德开始阅读有关个人发展的书籍,并努力拉近和同事的关系。当他的销售量上升时,同事们对他变得友好了,他的老板最近还请他协助培训新人。怀特海德说,"别人似乎在你有成果的时候才会更好地聆听你。"
Research shows productivity can be damaged by toiling
alongside a
chronic complainer. Exposure to nonstop negativity can disrupt learning, memory, attention and judgment, says Robert Sapolsky, a
prominent author and professor of neurology and neurological sciences at Stanford University. The brain, he says, can only handle so many stimuli at once before it begins losing
ability to
concentrate or remember -- especially if that steady
stream of negativity sparks distressing emotions.
研究表明,在长期发牢骚的人身边工作会影响工作效率。知名作家、斯坦福大学(Stanford University)神经病学及神经科学教授萨博尔斯基(Robert Sapolsky)说,长期接触负面信息会扰乱学习、记忆、注意力和判断力。他说,大脑在一次性处理了这么多刺激信息后可能会丧失集中注意力或记忆的能力──特别是如果这种稳定的负面信息流引发了不良情绪的话。
Complainers who are highly emotional, or who target a problem that also makes the
listener feel wronged, can especially
darken a co-worker's mood, Dr. Sapolsky says.
萨博尔斯基说,高度情绪化或针对一个让听者也会感到委屈的问题的抱怨者尤其会影响同事的情绪。
Complaining has become so common that many people don't even realize they're doing it. Benjamin Ballard, an
accountmanager for PaceButler, an Oklahoma City company that recycles cellphones, says he used to moan at work about his migraines. But 'I'd make jokes about it and thought that somehow made it positive,' says Mr. Ballard.
发牢骚已经成为再平常不过的现象,很多人甚至都意识不到自己是在发牢骚。巴拉尔德(Benjamin Ballard)是俄克拉荷马市(Oklahoma City)手机回收公司PaceButler的客户经理。他说,他以前经常在上班时抱怨自己的偏头痛。他说,"但我会拿这个开玩笑,我觉得这样可能会显得积极一点。"
PaceButler CEO Tom Pace made such grousing a front-and-center issue last December by
offering cash rewards to any of his 70 employees who could
refrain from complaints or
gossip for at least seven days. Participants in the
challengemonitor themselves and each other, wearing
rubber wrist bracelets that they move to the other arm when they slip. Workers who say they have gone a week without such toxic talk are eligible to enter a
monthly $500 drawing.
去年12月,PaceButler首席执行长佩斯(Tom Pace)把这种发牢骚的问题提上了日程,他手下有70名员工,他表示将对能保持至少七天时间不发牢骚的人予以现金奖励。参与这项挑战的员工自我监督并互相监督,佩戴橡胶手链,犯错的时候就换只手戴。一周没有发牢骚的员工有资格获得每月500美元的奖金。
For his part, Mr. Ballard stopped griping and took action to stop the headaches by eating better, he says. 'I don't get headaches anymore.' Spending less time talking about them, he figures, has helped.
就巴拉尔德来说,他说自己停止了抱怨,并采取行动,通过改善饮食来防止偏头痛。他说,"我再也没头痛过了。"他觉得说得少了可能起到了一定的作用。
His
colleague Debbie Gutierrez, an agent coordinator, says the
program has made
everyone stop and think before they talk. 'You can see growth in people,' she says. And throughout the office, Mr. Pace says, 'there are more high-fives, more
laughter and more production.'
他的同事、担任代理协调员的古铁雷斯(Debbie Gutierrez)说,老板的这个计划让大家都开始三思而后言。她说,"能看到大家的成长。"佩斯说,"办公室里有了更多的举手击掌,更多的笑声,工作效率也高了。"
Still, in most companies, it's getting harder to avoid the grumblers. Some 18% of U.S. employees are 'actively disengaged,'
negative and likely to
complain about their employers, according to an
annual Gallup poll of 31,265 employees. That negativity can spread 'kind of like a cancer,' says Jim Harter, Gallup's chief
scientist for workplace
management and well-being.
不过在大多数公司,避开发牢骚的人变得越来越难。盖洛普(Gallup)对31,265名员工所做的年度调查显示,约18%的美国员工在"积极怠工",情绪消极,而且有可能会抱怨自己的雇主。盖洛普职场管理及员工幸福感调查首席科学家哈尔特(Jim Harter)说,这种负面情绪会"像癌症一样"扩散。
Work groups with a high rate of negativity tend to have lower productivity and higher rates of absenteeism and quality defects, the Gallup
research shows. If an opportunity arises to
invest extra effort to help the company, these workers are likely to pass it up, Dr. Harter says.
较容易出现负面情绪的工作团队往往工作效率较低,缺勤率以及出现质量问题的频率也较高。哈尔特博士说,如果出现一个投入更多努力帮助公司的机会,这些员工可能不会去主动抓住。
But there are ways to cope with complainers. When people beef about the boss or someone else, author and
speaker Will Bowen suggests deflecting the gripes by saying, 'It sounds like you and he have something to talk about.' Other people bellyache just to get attention. He suggests giving the complainer a different kind of attention by asking, ' 'What's going well for you?' They'll look at you like you're crazy at first,' but
persist and 'the person will either
switch topics or stop talking to you. Either way, you don't have to listen to them any more,' says Mr. Bowen, Kansas City, Mo.,
founder of a nonprofit group, A Complaint Free World.
不过也有办法对付爱发牢骚的人。密苏里州堪萨斯城(Kansas City)非营利组织A Complaint Free World的创始人、作家及演讲家伯温(Will Bowen)建议,如果有人抱怨老板或其他人,可以这样说来转移话题:"好像你和他有事情需要谈一谈"。有些人会无故抱怨,目的只是引人注意,他建议可以这样问:"你有什么好事发生吗?",从而给予其另一种不同的关注。"他们先是会看着你,好像你疯了一样,"但还会继续说,"最后要么转移话题,要么不再跟你说话,无论是哪一种,你都不必再听他们抱怨了。"
Of course, 'there has to be some
healthy conflict,' says Mr. Gordon, the author and consultant. When work teams get together, the ratio of
positive interactions, such as support and encouragement, to
negative interactions, such as
disapproval and criticism, should be about 3-to-1 or higher in order to ensure top performance, based on
research by Barbara Fredrickson, a
psychology professor at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, and others.
当然,作家及顾问戈登说,"还是得有一定的有益的冲突。"北卡罗来纳大学教堂山分校(University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill)心理学教授弗雷德里克森(Barbara Fredrickson)及其他人的研究显示,当工作团队在一起时,支持和鼓励等积极互动与反对和批评等负面互动的比率应该在三比一左右或更高的水平,这样能确保团队有最优秀的表现。
And some
chronic complainers
expose real problems. Joan Curto griped almost
constantly years ago about the heavy travel required by her job as a national accounts
manager for a drug company, says her former boss, Trevor Blake. 'She complained about everything: The company car wasn't big enough, the bonuses weren't good enough,' says Mr. Blake, a Seattle-based
entrepreneur and author. 'I pushed back, asking, 'What are you going to do about it? Come to me with a solution.' '
有些长期发牢骚的人会暴露出真正的问题。科尔托(Joan Curto)多年前曾担任一家制药公司的全国客户经理,需要经常出差。她的前老板、西雅图的企业家和作家布雷克(Trevor Blake)说,当时科尔托老是抱怨自己出差太多。布雷克说,"她什么都抱怨:比如公司的车不够大,奖金不够多,我反问她说,你想怎么解决这些问题呢?拿出一个解决方案来。"
At first, Ms. Curto says, she was irritated. She was traveling four to five days a week
trying to cover a huge 600-hospital sales territory and was seldom home with her family. But she soon figured out what Mr. Blake calls 'a
brilliant plan' to limit face-to-face visits to customers with the highest sales potential, and to hire a pharmacist to
contact the rest.
科尔托说,开始她觉得很生气。她每星期要出差四至五天,努力维护有600家医院的大型销售区域的销售工作,很少和家人在一起。但不久她就想出了一个布雷克称之为"绝妙计划"的办法,即减少面对面拜访最具销售潜力的客户的次数,并聘用一名药剂师来联系其他客户。
The result: Sales went up, and Ms. Curto, now a sales
manager for a different, Chicago-based company, got to stay home more often with her family.
结果是:销售量上升,科尔托也能经常和家人在一起了。现在她是一家总部位于芝加哥的公司的销售经理。