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| UNIT7 The Decision Dr. Sam said to me: I don't know how to say this, except to come right out with it, Miriam. The tests we did last week show that there are abnormalities with the fetus. I recommend you consider an abortion. I sat, hands folded together in my lap, numbed by his words. The world around me disappeared as I strove to absorb the dreadful news Dr. Sam was giving me. His voice came to me as if spoken in a tunnel, hollow and echoing. Could this be true? The baby inside me, the miracle created by love, wasn't perfect! Your baby has a condition known as Down's Syndrome. The problems you will face if you don't terminate this pregnancy could be overwhelming, especially now that Paul is no longer with you. Here I was, thirty nine years old, pregnant for the first time, and my doctor, my trusted friend, was telling me I should kill this innocent life in my womb. I knew I had to respond but words escaped me. Finally, I was able to speak. I need some time to consider my options. With all that has happened in the past month and a half, I don't want to do anything without knowing all I can about this. You don't have long, Miriam. You are eleven weeks along and it's dangerous to perform an abortion after twelve weeks, try not to prolong your decision. It's too much for me to get my head around right now. I need to think. I promise Ill get back to you in a day or so. I left the office in a daze. What was I going to do? Where would I begin? Who, besides Dr. Sam, would be able to advise me? My parents were on the other side of the world, teaching in China. I felt that if I could talk to Mom, held in her comforting arms, she would give me some of her wisdom. If I could be face-to-face with Dad, he would give me strength. They were all I had left in my world. My husband, Paul, had been killed in a traffic accident six weeks ago. Mom and Dad had gone back to China a week after the funeral, when they thought I was able to cope with my loss. There was nowhere to turn. I had to face reality. This was a decision I would make on my own. I needed to gather all the information I could about Down's syndrome. I wasted no time. I went to the library to begin my research. The steps to the future were in my hands. The first medical journal I chose explained the causes of Down's syndrome. Normally, each egg and sperm cell contains 23 chromosomes, and, when they unite, 23 pairs or 46 in total. Occasionally, an accident occurs when the egg or sperm cell is forming, creating an extra chromosome number 21. This extra chromosome results in the features of Down's syndrome. In the past, this disorder was called Mongolism because of the facial characteristics including slanted eyes and a small, flattened nasal bridge. It is a common genetic birth defect affecting about one in 800 to 1000 births when the mother is 30 years of age. The odds of my having a Down syndrome increased to one in 100 because I was in my fortieth year. There is no cure for this disorder. Neither is there any prevention. My child would be developmentally and physically retarded to a greater or lesser degree. She could have numerous health problems. It was unlikely she would ever marry and her having children was out of the question. Her life expectancy could be as little as 55 years. Paul and I had been married for ten years and had always regretted the fact that I had been unable to conceive. After he died, I attributed my nausea, vomiting and lethargy to my grief, never suspecting that I might be pregnant. Poor Paul would never know that we would have a child together. This thought alone was what made me realize that I wouldn't be able to have an abortion, no matter what obstacles might be ahead of us. |
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