Hot. I have done, i' faith.
Wor. Then once more to your Scottish prisoners.
Deliver them up without their
ransom straight,
And make the Douglas' son your only mean
For powers In Scotland; which, for
divers reasons
Which I shall send you written, be assur'd
Will easily be granted. [To Northumberland] You, my lord,
Your son in Scotland being thus employ'd,
Shall
secretly into the bosom creep
Of that same noble prelate well-belov'd,
The Archbishop.
Hot. Of York, is it not?
Wor. True; who bears hard
His brother's death at Bristow, the Lord Scroop.
I speak not this in estimation,
As what I think might be, but what I know
Is ruminated, plotted, and set down,
And only stays but to behold the face
Of that occasion that shall bring it on.
Hot. I smell it. Upon my life, it will do well.
North. Before the game is afoot thou still let'st slip.
Hot. Why, it cannot choose but be a noble plot.
And then the power of Scotland and of York
To join with Mortimer, ha?
Wor. And so they shall.
Hot. In faith, it is
exceedingly well aim'd.
Wor. And 'tis no little reason bids us speed,
To save our heads by raising of a head;
For, bear ourselves as even as we can,
The King will always think him in our debt,
And think we think ourselves unsatisfied,
Till he hath found a time to pay us home.
And see already how he doth begin
To make us strangers to his looks of love.
Hot. He does, he does! We'll be reveng'd on him.
Wor. Cousin,
farewell. No further go in this
Than I by letters shall direct your course.
When time is ripe, which will be suddenly,
I'll steal to Glendower and Lord Mortimer,
Where you and Douglas, and our pow'rs at once,
As I will fashion it, shall happily meet,
To bear our fortunes in our own strong arms,
Which now we hold at much uncertainty.
North. Farewell, good brother. We shall
thrive, I trust.
Hot. Uncle, adieu. O, let the hours be short
Till fields and blows and groans
applaud our sport! Exeunt.
ACT II. Scene I.
Rochester. An inn yard.
Enter a Carrier with a
lantern in his hand.
1. Car. Heigh-ho! an it be not four by the day, I'll be hang'd.
Charles' wain is over the new chimney, and yet our horse not
pack'd.- What, ostler!
Ost. [within] Anon, anon.
1. Car. I prithee, Tom, beat Cut's
saddle, put a few flocks in the
point. Poor jade is wrung in the withers out of all cess.
Enter another Carrier.
2. Car. Peas and beans are as dank here as a dog, and that is the
next way to give poor jades the bots. This house is turned upside
down since Robin Ostler died.
1. Car. Poor fellow never joyed since the price of oats rose. It
was the death of him.
2. Car. I think this be the most villanous house in all London road
for fleas. I am stung like a tench.
1. Car. Like a tench I By the mass, there is ne'er a king christen
could be better bit than I have been since the first cock.
2. Car. Why, they will allow us ne'er a
jordan, and then we leak in
your chimney, and your chamber-lye breeds fleas like a loach.
1. Car. What, ostler! come away and be hang'd! come away!
2. Car. I have a gammon of bacon and two razes of
ginger, to be
delivered as far as Charing Cross.
1. Car. God's body! the turkeys in my pannier are quite
starved.
What, ostler! A
plague on thee! hast thou never an eye in thy
head? Canst not hear? An 'twere not as good deed as drink to
break the pate on thee, I am a very
villain. Come, and be hang'd!
Hast no faith in thee?
Enter Gadshill.
Gads. Good
morrow,
carriers. What's o'clock?
1. Car. I think it be two o'clock.
Gads. I prithee lend me this
lantern to see my gelding in the
stable.
1. Car. Nay, by God, soft! I know a trick worth two of that,
i' faith.
Gads. I pray thee lend me thine.
2. Car. Ay, when? canst tell? Lend me thy
lantern, quoth he? Marry,
I'll see thee hang'd first!
Gads. Sirrah
carrier, what time do you mean to come to London?
2. Car. Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I
warrant thee.
Come, neighbour Mugs, we'll call up the gentlemen. They will
along with company, for they have great
charge.
Exeunt [Carriers].
Gads. What, ho! chamberlain!
Enter Chamberlain.
Cham. At hand, quoth pickpurse.
Gads. That's even as fair as- 'at hand, quoth the chamberlain'; for
thou variest no more from picking of purses than giving direction
doth from labouring: thou layest the plot how.
Cham. Good
morrow, Master Gadshill. It holds current that I told
you yesternight. There's a franklin in the Wild of Kent hath
brought three hundred marks with him in gold. I heard him tell it
to one of his company last night at supper- a kind of auditor;
one that hath
abundance of
charge too, God knows what. They are
up already and call for eggs and butter. They will away
presently.
Gads. Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas' clerks, I'll
give thee this neck.
Cham. No, I'll none of it. I pray thee keep that for the hangman;
for I know thou worshippest Saint Nicholas as truly as a man of
falsehood may.
Gads. What talkest thou to me of the hangman? If I hang, I'll make
a fat pair of
gallows; for if I hang, old Sir John hangs with me,
and thou knowest he is no
starveling. Tut! there are other
Troyans that thou dream'st not of, the which for sport sake are
content to do the
profession some grace; that would (if matters
should be look'd into) for their own credit sake make all whole.
I am joined with no foot land-rakers, no long-staff sixpenny
strikers, none of these mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms; but
with
nobility, and tranquillity, burgomasters and great oneyers,
such as can hold in, such as will strike sooner than speak, and
speak sooner than drink, and drink sooner than pray; and yet,
zounds, I lie; for they pray
continually to their saint, the
commonwealth, or rather, not pray to her, but prey on her, for
they ride up and down on her and make her their boots.
Cham. What, the
commonwealth their boots? Will she hold out water
in foul way?
Gads. She will, she will! Justice hath liquor'd her. We steal as in
a castle, cocksure. We have the
receipt of fernseed, we walk
invisible.
Cham. Nay, by my faith, I think you are more beholding to the night
than to fernseed for your walking invisible.
Gads. Give me thy hand. Thou shalt have a share in our purchase, as
I and a true man.
Cham. Nay, rather let me have it, as you are a false thief.
Gads. Go to; 'homo' is a common name to all men. Bid the ostler
bring my gelding out of the
stable. Farewell, you muddy knave.
Exeunt.
Scene II.
The
highway near Gadshill.
Enter Prince and Poins.
Poins. Come, shelter, shelter! I have remov'd Falstaff's horse, and
he frets like a gumm'd velvet.
Prince. Stand close. [They step aside.]
Enter Falstaff.
Fal. Poins! Poins, and be hang'd! Poins!
Prince. I comes forward I Peace, ye fat-kidney'd
rascal! What a
brawling dost thou keep!
Fal. Where's Poins, Hal?
Prince. He is walk'd up to the top of the hill. I'll go seek him.
[Steps aside.]
Fal. I am accurs'd to rob in that thief's company. The
rascal hath
removed my horse and tied him I know not where. If I travel but
four foot by the
squire further afoot, I shall break my wind.
Well, I doubt not but to die a fair death for all this, if I
scape
hanging for killing that rogue. I have forsworn his company
hourly any time this two-and-twenty years, and yet I am bewitch'd
with the rogue's company. If the
rascal have not given me
medicines to make me love him, I'll be hang'd. It could not be
else. I have drunk medicines. Poins! Hal! A
plague upon you both!
Bardolph! Peto! I'll
starve ere I'll rob a foot further. An
'twere not as good a deed as drink to turn true man and to leave
these rogues, I am the veriest varlet that ever chewed with a
tooth. Eight yards of
uneven ground is
threescore and ten miles
afoot with me, and the stony-hearted
villains know it well
enough. A
plague upon it when
thieves cannot be true one to
another! (They whistle.) Whew! A
plague upon you all! Give me my
horse, you rogues! give me my horse and be hang'd!
Prince. [comes forward] Peace, ye fat-guts! Lie down, lay thine ear
close to the ground, and list if thou canst hear the tread of
travellers.
Fal. Have you any levers to lift me up again, being down? 'Sblood,
I'll not bear mine own flesh so far afoot again for all the coin
in thy father's
exchequer. What a
plague mean ye to colt me thus?
Prince. Thou liest; thou art not colted, thou art uncolted.
Fal. I prithee, good Prince Hal, help me to my horse, good king's
son.
Prince. Out, ye rogue! Shall I be your ostler?
Fal. Go hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent garters! If I be
ta'en, I'll peach for this. An I have not ballads made on you
all, and sung to
filthy tunes, let a cup of sack be my poison.
When a jest is so forward- and afoot too- I hate it.
Enter Gadshill, [Bardolph and Peto with him].
Gads. Stand!
Fal. So I do, against my will.
Poins. [comes fortward] O, 'tis our setter. I know his voice.
Bardolph, what news?
Bar. Case ye, case ye! On with your vizards! There's money of the
King's coming down the hill; 'tis going to the King's
exchequer.
Fal. You lie, ye rogue! 'Tis going to the King's tavern.
Gads. There's enough to make us all.
Fal. To be hang'd.
Prince. Sirs, you four shall front them in the narrow lane; Ned
Poins and I will walk lower. If they scape from your encounter,
then they light on us.
Peto. How many be there of them?
Gads. Some eight or ten.
Fal. Zounds, will they not rob us?
Prince. What, a
coward, Sir John Paunch?
Fal. Indeed, I am not John of Gaunt, your
grandfather; but yet no
coward, Hal.
Prince. Well, we leave that to the proof.
Poins. Sirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the hedge. When thou
need'st him, there thou shalt find him. Farewell and stand fast.