酷兔英语

章节正文
文章总共1页
This wind is a liquor of English manufacture, and its flavor is

thought very delicious by the generality of the English, who
drink it in great quantities. Every seventh year is thought to

produce as much as the other six. It is then drank so
plentifully that the whole nation are in a manner intoxicated by

it; and consequently very little business is carried on at that
season. It resembles in color the red wine which is imported

from Portugal, as it doth in its intoxicating quality; hence, and
from this agreement in the orthography, the one is often

confounded with the other, though both are seldom esteemed by the
same person. It is to be had in every parish of the kingdom, and

a pretty large quantity is consumed in the metropolis, where
several taverns are set apart solely for the vendition of this

liquor, the masters never dealing in any other. The disagreement
in our computation produced some small remonstrance to Mrs.

Francis on my side; but this received an immediate answer: "She
scorned to overcharge gentlemen; her house had been always

frequented by the very best gentry of the island; and she had
never had a bill found fault with in her life, though she had

lived upwards of forty years in the house, and within that time
the greatest gentry in Hampshire had been at it; and that lawyer

Willis never went to any other when he came to those parts. That
for her part she did not get her livelihood by travelers, who

were gone and away, and she never expected to see them more, but
that her neighbors might come again; wherefore, to be sure, they

had the only right to complain."
She was proceeding thus, and from her volubility of tongue seemed

likely to stretch the discourse to an immoderate length, when I
suddenly cut all short by paying the bill.

This morning our ladies went to church, more, I fear, from
curiosity than religion; they were attended by the captain in a

most military attire, with his cockade in his hat and his sword
by his side. So unusual an appearance in this little chapel drew

the attention of all present, and probably disconcerted the
women, who were in dishabille, and wished themselves dressed, for

the sake of the curate, who was the greatest of their beholders.
While I was left alone I received a visit from Mr. Francis

himself, who was much more considerable as a farmer than as an
inn-holder. Indeed, he left the latter entirely to the care of

his wife, and he acted wisely, I believe, in so doing. As
nothing more remarkable passed on this day I will close it with

the account of these two characters, as far as a few days'
residence could inform me of them. If they should appear as new

to the reader as they did to me, he will not be displeased at
finding them here. This amiable couple seemed to border hard on

their grand climacteric; nor indeed were they shy of owning
enough to fix their ages within a year or two of that time. They

appeared to be rather proud of having employed their time well
than ashamed of having lived so long; the only reason which I

could ever assign why some fine ladies, and fine gentlemen too,
should desire to be thought younger than they really are by the

contemporaries of their grandchildren. Some, indeed, who too
hastily credit appearances, might doubt whether they had made so

good a use of their time as I would insinuate, since there was no
appearance of anything but poverty, want, and wretchedness, about

their house; nor could they produce anything to a customer in
exchange for his money but a few bottles of wind, and spirituous

liquors, and some very bad ale, to drink; with rusty bacon and
worse cheese to eat. But then it should be considered, on the

other side, that whatever they received was almost as entirely
clear profit as the blessing of a wreck itself; such an inn being

the very reverse of a coffee-house; for here you can neither sit
for nothing nor have anything for your money.

Again, as many marks of want abounded everywhere, so were the
marks of antiquityvisible. Scarce anything was to be seen which

had not some scar upon it, made by the hand of Time; not an
utensil, it was manifest, had been purchased within a dozen years

last past; so that whatever money had come into the house during
that period at least must have remained in it, unless it had been

sent abroad for food, or other perishable commodities; but these
were supplied by a small portion of the fruits of the farm, in

which the farmer allowed he had a very good bargain. In fact, it
is inconceivable what sums may be collected by starving only, and

how easy it is for a man to die rich if he will but be contented
to live miserable.

Nor is there in this kind of starving anything so terrible as
some apprehend. It neither wastes a man's flesh nor robs him of

his cheerfulness. The famous Cornaro's case well proves the
contrary; and so did farmer Francis, who was of a round stature,

had a plump, round face, with a kind of smile on it, and seemed
to borrow an air of wretchedness rather from his coat's age than

from his own.
The truth is, there is a certain diet which emaciates men more

than any possible degree of abstinence; though I do not remember
to have seen any caution against it, either in Cheney, Arbuthnot,

or in any other modern writer or regimen.
Nay, the very name is not, I believe, in the learned Dr. James's

Dictionary; all which is the more extraordinary as it is a very
common food in this kingdom, and the college themselves were not

long since very liberally entertained with it by the present
attorney and other eminent lawyers in Lincoln's-inn-hall, and

were all made horribly sick by it.
But though it should not be found among our English physical

writers, we may be assured of meeting with it among the Greeks;
for nothing considerable in nature escapes their notice, though

many things considerable in them, it is to be feared, have
escaped the notice of their readers. The Greeks, then, to all

such as feed too voraciously on this diet, give the name of
HEAUTOFAGI, which our physicians will, I suppose, translate MEN

THAT EAT THEMSELVES.
As nothing is so destructive to the body as this kind of food,

so nothing is so plentiful and cheap; but it was perhaps the only
cheap thing the farmer disliked. Probably living much on fish

might produce this disgust; for Diodorus Siculus attributes the
same aversion in a people of Ethiopia to the same cause; he calls

them the fish-eaters, and asserts that they cannot be brought to
eat a single meal with the Heautofagi by any persuasion, threat,

or violencewhatever, not even though they should kill their
children before their faces.

What hath puzzled our physicians, and prevented them from setting
this matter in the clearest light, is possibly one simple

mistake, arising from a very excusable ignorance; that the
passions of men are capable of swallowing food as well as their

appetites; that the former, in feeding, resemble the state of
those animals who chew the cud; and therefore, such men, in some

sense, may be said to prey on themselves, and as it were to
devour their own entrails. And hence ensues a meageraspect and

thin habit of body, as surely as from what is called a
consumption. Our farmer was one of these. He had no more

passion than an Ichthuofagus or Ethiopian fisher. He wished not
for anything, thought not of anything; indeed, he scarce did

anything or said anything. Here I cannot be understood strictly;
for then I must describe a nonentity, whereas I would rob him of

nothing but that free agency which is the cause of all the
corruption and of all the misery of human nature. No man,

indeed, ever did more than the farmer, for he was an absolute
slave to labor all the week; but in truth, as my sagacious reader

must have at first apprehended, when I said he resigned the care
of the house to his wife, I meant more than I then expressed,

even the house and all that belonged to it; for he was really a
farmer only under the direction of his wife. In a word, so

composed, so serene, so placid a countenance, I never saw; and he
satisfied himself by answering to every question he was asked, "I

don't know anything about it, sir; I leaves all that to my wife."
Now, as a couple of this kind would, like two vessels of oil,


文章总共1页
文章标签:名著  

章节正文