This wind is a
liquor of English manufacture, and its
flavor is
thought very
delicious by the generality of the English, who
drink it in great quantities. Every seventh year is thought to
produce as much as the other six. It is then drank so
plentifully that the whole nation are in a manner intoxicated by
it; and
consequently very little business is carried on at that
season. It
resembles in color the red wine which is imported
from Portugal, as it doth in its intoxicating quality; hence, and
from this
agreement in the orthography, the one is often
confounded with the other, though both are seldom esteemed by the
same person. It is to be had in every
parish of the kingdom, and
a pretty large quantity is consumed in the
metropolis, where
several taverns are set apart
solely for the vendition of this
liquor, the masters never
dealing in any other. The dis
agreementin our computation produced some small remonstrance to Mrs.
Francis on my side; but this received an immediate answer: "She
scorned to overcharge gentlemen; her house had been always
frequented by the very best
gentry of the island; and she had
never had a bill found fault with in her life, though she had
lived
upwards of forty years in the house, and within that time
the greatest
gentry in Hampshire had been at it; and that lawyer
Willis never went to any other when he came to those parts. That
for her part she did not get her
livelihood by travelers, who
were gone and away, and she never expected to see them more, but
that her neighbors might come again;
wherefore, to be sure, they
had the only right to complain."
She was
proceeding thus, and from her volubility of tongue seemed
likely to stretch the
discourse to an immoderate length, when I
suddenly cut all short by paying the bill.
This morning our ladies went to church, more, I fear, from
curiosity than religion; they were attended by the captain in a
most military
attire, with his cockade in his hat and his sword
by his side. So
unusual an appearance in this little
chapel drew
the attention of all present, and probably disconcerted the
women, who were in dishabille, and wished themselves dressed, for
the sake of the curate, who was the greatest of their beholders.
While I was left alone I received a visit from Mr. Francis
himself, who was much more
considerable as a farmer than as an
inn-holder. Indeed, he left the latter entirely to the care of
his wife, and he acted
wisely, I believe, in so doing. As
nothing more
remarkable passed on this day I will close it with
the
account of these two characters, as far as a few days'
residence could inform me of them. If they should appear as new
to the reader as they did to me, he will not be
displeased at
finding them here. This
amiable couple seemed to border hard on
their grand climacteric; nor indeed were they shy of owning
enough to fix their ages within a year or two of that time. They
appeared to be rather proud of having employed their time well
than
ashamed of having lived so long; the only reason which I
could ever
assign why some fine ladies, and fine gentlemen too,
should desire to be thought younger than they really are by the
contemporaries of their grandchildren. Some, indeed, who too
hastily credit appearances, might doubt whether they had made so
good a use of their time as I would
insinuate, since there was no
appearance of anything but
poverty, want, and wretchedness, about
their house; nor could they produce anything to a
customer in
exchange for his money but a few bottles of wind, and spirituous
liquors, and some very bad ale, to drink; with rusty bacon and
worse
cheese to eat. But then it should be considered, on the
other side, that
whatever they received was almost as entirely
clear profit as the
blessing of a wreck itself; such an inn being
the very
reverse of a coffee-house; for here you can neither sit
for nothing nor have anything for your money.
Again, as many marks of want abounded everywhere, so were the
marks of
antiquityvisible. Scarce anything was to be seen which
had not some scar upon it, made by the hand of Time; not an
utensil, it was
manifest, had been purchased within a dozen years
last past; so that
whatever money had come into the house during
that period at least must have remained in it, unless it had been
sent
abroad for food, or other perishable commodities; but these
were supplied by a small
portion of the fruits of the farm, in
which the farmer allowed he had a very good
bargain. In fact, it
is inconceivable what sums may be collected by starving only, and
how easy it is for a man to die rich if he will but be contented
to live miserable.
Nor is there in this kind of starving anything so terrible as
some
apprehend. It neither wastes a man's flesh nor robs him of
his
cheerfulness. The famous Cornaro's case well proves the
contrary; and so did farmer Francis, who was of a round stature,
had a plump, round face, with a kind of smile on it, and seemed
to borrow an air of wretchedness rather from his coat's age than
from his own.
The truth is, there is a certain diet which emaciates men more
than any possible degree of abstinence; though I do not remember
to have seen any
caution against it, either in Cheney, Arbuthnot,
or in any other modern
writer or regimen.
Nay, the very name is not, I believe, in the
learned Dr. James's
Dictionary; all which is the more
extraordinary as it is a very
common food in this kingdom, and the college themselves were not
long since very liberally entertained with it by the present
attorney and other
eminent lawyers in Lincoln's-inn-hall, and
were all made
horribly sick by it.
But though it should not be found among our English physical
writers, we may be
assured of meeting with it among the Greeks;
for nothing
considerable in nature escapes their notice, though
many things
considerable in them, it is to be feared, have
escaped the notice of their readers. The Greeks, then, to all
such as feed too voraciously on this diet, give the name of
HEAUTOFAGI, which our physicians will, I suppose,
translate MEN
THAT EAT THEMSELVES.
As nothing is so
destructive to the body as this kind of food,
so nothing is so
plentiful and cheap; but it was perhaps the only
cheap thing the farmer disliked. Probably living much on fish
might produce this
disgust; for Diodorus Siculus attributes the
same aversion in a people of Ethiopia to the same cause; he calls
them the fish-eaters, and asserts that they cannot be brought to
eat a single meal with the Heautofagi by any
persuasion, threat,
or
violencewhatever, not even though they should kill their
children before their faces.
What hath puzzled our physicians, and prevented them from setting
this matter in the clearest light, is possibly one simple
mistake, arising from a very excusable
ignorance; that the
passions of men are
capable of swallowing food as well as their
appetites; that the former, in feeding,
resemble the state of
those animals who chew the cud; and
therefore, such men, in some
sense, may be said to prey on themselves, and as it were to
devour their own entrails. And hence ensues a
meageraspect and
thin habit of body, as surely as from what is called a
consumption. Our farmer was one of these. He had no more
passion than an Ichthuofagus or Ethiopian
fisher. He wished not
for anything, thought not of anything; indeed, he
scarce did
anything or said anything. Here I cannot be understood strictly;
for then I must describe a nonentity,
whereas I would rob him of
nothing but that free
agency which is the cause of all the
corruption and of all the
misery of human nature. No man,
indeed, ever did more than the farmer, for he was an absolute
slave to labor all the week; but in truth, as my sagacious reader
must have at first
apprehended, when I said he resigned the care
of the house to his wife, I meant more than I then expressed,
even the house and all that belonged to it; for he was really a
farmer only under the direction of his wife. In a word, so
composed, so
serene, so
placid a
countenance, I never saw; and he
satisfied himself by answering to every question he was asked, "I
don't know anything about it, sir; I leaves all that to my wife."
Now, as a couple of this kind would, like two vessels of oil,