always been most kind to me, so I told him everything, including
yesterday's adventure. Mr. Perkupp kindly replied: "There is no
necessity for you to be
anxious, Mr. Pooter. It would be
impossible for a son of such good parents to turn out erroneously.
Remember he is young, and will soon get older. I wish we could
find room for him in this firm." The advice of this good man takes
loads off my mind. In the evening Lupin came in.
After our little supper, he said: "My dear parents, I have some
news, which I fear will
affect you considerably." I felt a qualm
come over me, and said nothing. Lupin then said: "It may distress
you - in fact, I'm sure it will - but this afternoon I have given
up my pony and trap for ever." It may seem
absurd, but I was so
pleased, I immediately opened a bottle of port. Gowing dropped in
just in time, bringing with him a large sheet, with a print of a
tailless
donkey, which he fastened against the wall. He then
produced several separate tails, and we spent the
remainder of the
evening
trying blindfolded to pin a tail on in the proper place.
My sides
positively ached with
laughter when I went to bed.
February 12. - In the evening I spoke to Lupin about his engagement
with Daisy Mutlar. I asked if he had heard from her. He replied:
"No; she promised that old windbag of a father of hers that she
would not
communicate with me. I see Frank Mutlar, of course; in
fact, he said he might call again this evening." Frank called, but
said he could not stop, as he had a friend
waiting outside for him,
named Murray Posh, adding he was quite a swell. Carrie asked Frank
to bring him in.
He was brought in, Gowing entering at the same time. Mr. Murray
Posh was a tall, fat young man, and was
evidently of a very nervous
disposition, as he
subsequently confessed he would never go in a
hansom cab, nor would he enter a four-wheeler until the driver had
first got on the box with his reins in his hands.
On being introduced, Gowing, with his usual want of tact, said:
"Any relation to 'Posh's three-shilling hats'?" Mr. Posh replied:
"Yes; but please understand I don't try on hats myself. I take no
ACTIVE part in the business." I replied: "I wish I had a business
like it." Mr. Posh seemed pleased, and gave a long but most
interesting history of the
extraordinary difficulties in the
manufacture of cheap hats.
Murray Posh
evidently knew Daisy Mutlar very
intimately" target="_blank" title="ad.密切地;熟悉地">
intimately from the
way he was talking of her; and Frank said to Lupin once,
laughingly: "If you don't look out, Posh will cut you out!" When
they had all gone, I referred to this flippant conversation; and
Lupin said, sarcastically: "A man who is
jealous has no respect
for himself. A man who would be
jealous of an
elephant like Murray
Posh could only have a
contempt for himself. I know Daisy. She
WOULD wait ten years for me, as I said before; in fact, if
necessary, SHE WOULD WAIT TWENTY YEARS FOR ME."
CHAPTER XVI.
We lose money over Lupin's advice as to
investment" target="_blank" title="n.投资;(时间等)投入">
investment, so does
Cummings. Murray Posh engaged to Daisy Mutlar.
February 18. - Carrie has several times recently called attention
to the thinness of my hair at the top of my head, and recommended
me to get it seen to. I was this morning
trying to look at it by
the aid of a small hand-glass, when somehow my elbow caught against
the edge of the chest of drawers and knocked the glass out of my
hand and smashed it. Carrie was in an awful way about it, as she
is rather
absurdly
superstitious. To make matters worse, my large
photograph in the drawing-room fell during the night, and the glass
cracked.
Carrie said: "Mark my words, Charles, some
misfortune is about to
happen."
I said: "Nonsense, dear."
In the evening Lupin arrived home early, and seemed a little
agitated. I said: "What's up, my boy?" He hesitated a good deal,
and then said: "You know those Parachikka Chlorates I advised you
to
invest 20 pounds in? I replied: "Yes, they are all right, I
trust?" He replied: "Well, no! To the surprise of everybody,
they have utterly collapsed."
My
breath was so completely taken away, I could say nothing.
Carrie looked at me, and said: "What did I tell you?" Lupin,
after a while, said: "However, you are
speciallyfortunate. I
received an early tip, and sold out yours immediately, and was
fortunate to get 2 pounds for them. So you get something after
all."
I gave a sigh of
relief. I said: "I was not so
sanguine as to
suppose, as you predicted, that I should get six or eight times the
amount of my
investment" target="_blank" title="n.投资;(时间等)投入">
investment; still a profit of 2 pounds is a good
percentage for such a short time." Lupin said, quite irritably:
"You don't understand. I sold your 20 pounds shares for 2 pounds;
you
therefore lose 18 pounds on the transaction,
whereby Cummings
and Gowing will lose the whole of theirs."
February 19. - Lupin, before going to town, said: "I am very sorry
about those Parachikka Chlorates; it would not have happened if the
boss, Job Cleanands, had been in town. Between ourselves, you must
not be surprised if something goes wrong at our office. Job
Cleanands has not been seen the last few days, and it strikes me
several people DO want to see him very particularly."
In the evening Lupin was just on the point of going out to avoid a
collision with Gowing and Cummings, when the former entered the
room, without knocking, but with his usual trick of
saying, "May I
come in?"
He entered, and to the surprise of Lupin and myself, seemed to be
in the very best of spirits. Neither Lupin nor I broached the
subject to him, but he did so of his own
accord. He said: "I say,
those Parachikka Chlorates have gone an awful smash! You're a nice
one, Master Lupin. How much do you lose?" Lupin, to my utter
astonishment, said: "Oh! I had nothing in them. There was some
informality in my
application - I forgot to
enclose the cheque or
something, and I didn't get any. The Guv. loses 18 pounds." I
said: "I quite understood you were in it, or nothing would have
induced me to speculate." Lupin replied: "Well, it can't be
helped; you must go double on the next tip." Before I could reply,
Gowing said: "Well, I lose nothing,
fortunately. From what I
heard, I did not quite believe in them, so I persuaded Cummings to
take my 15 pounds worth, as he had more faith in them than I had."
Lupin burst out laughing, and, in the most unseemly manner, said:
"Alas, poor Cummings. He'll lose 35 pounds." At that moment there
was a ring at the bell. Lupin said: "I don't want to meet
Cummings." If he had gone out of the door he would have met him in
the passage, so as quickly as possible Lupin opened the parlour
window and got out. Gowing jumped up suddenly, exclaiming: "I
don't want to see him either!" and, before I could say a word, he
followed Lupin out of the window.
For my own part, I was horrified to think my own son and one of my
most
intimate friends should depart from the house like a couple of
interrupted burglars. Poor Cummings was very upset, and of course
was naturally very angry both with Lupin and Gowing. I pressed him
to have a little whisky, and he replied that he had given up
whisky; but would like a little "Unsweetened," as he was advised it
was the most
healthy spirit. I had none in the house, but sent
Sarah round to Lockwood's for some.
February 20. - The first thing that caught my eye on
opening the
STANDARD was - "Great Failure of Stock and Share Dealers! Mr. Job
Cleanands absconded!" I handed it to Carrie, and she replied:
"Oh! perhaps it's for Lupin's good. I never did think it a
suitable situation for him." I thought the whole affair very
shocking.
Lupin came down to breakfast, and
seeing he looked painfully
distressed, I said: "We know the news, my dear boy, and feel very
sorry for you." Lupin said: "How did you know? who told you?" I
handed him the STANDARD. He threw the paper down, and said: "Oh I
don't care a
button for that! I expected that, but I did not
expect this." He then read a letter from Frank Mutlar, announcing,
in a cool manner, that Daisy Mutlar is to be married next month to
Murray Posh. I exclaimed, "Murray Posh! Is not that the very man
Frank had the impudence to bring here last Tuesday week?" Lupin
said: "Yes; the 'POSH'S-THREE-SHILLING-HATS' chap."
We all then ate our breakfast in dead silence.
In fact, I could eat nothing. I was not only too worried, but I
cannot and will not eat
cushion of bacon. If I cannot get streaky
bacon, I will do without anything.
When Lupin rose to go I noticed a
malicious smile creep over his
face. I asked him what it meant. He replied: "Oh! only a little
consolation - still it is a
consolation. I have just remembered
that, by MY advice, Mr. Murray Posh has
invested 600 pounds in
Parachikka Chlorates!"
CHAPTER XVII.
Marriage of Daisy Mutlar and Murray Posh. The dream of my life
realised. Mr. Perkupp takes Lupin into the office.
March 20. - To-day being the day on which Daisy Mutlar and Mr.
Murray Posh are to be married, Lupin has gone with a friend to
spend the day at Gravesend. Lupin has been much cut-up over the
affair, although he declares that he is glad it is off. I wish he
would not go to so many music-halls, but one dare not say anything
to him about it. At the present moment he irritates me by singing
all over the house some
nonsense about "What's the matter with
Gladstone? He's all right! What's the matter with Lupin? He's
all right!" I don't think either of them is. In the evening
Gowing called, and the chief topic of conversation was Daisy's
marriage to Murray Posh. I said: "I was glad the matter was at an
end, as Daisy would only have made a fool of Lupin." Gowing, with
his usual good taste, said: "Oh, Master Lupin can make a fool of
himself without any assistance." Carrie very
properly resented
this, and Gowing had sufficient sense to say he was sorry.
March 21. - To-day I shall conclude my diary, for it is one of the
happiest days of my life. My great dream of the last few weeks -
in fact, of many years - has been realised. This morning came a
letter from Mr. Perkupp, asking me to take Lupin down to the office
with me. I went to Lupin's room; poor fellow, he seemed very pale,
and said he had a bad
headache. He had come back
yesterday from
Gravesend, where he spent part of the day in a small boat on the
water, having been mad enough to
neglect to take his
overcoat with
him. I showed him Mr. Perkupp's letter, and he got up as quickly
as possible. I begged of him not to put on his fast-coloured
clothes and ties, but to dress in something black or quiet-looking.
Carrie was all of a tremble when she read the letter, and all she
could keep on
saying was: "Oh, I DO hope it will be all right."
For myself, I could scarcely eat any breakfast. Lupin came down
dressed quietly, and looking a perfect gentleman, except that his
face was rather yellow. Carrie, by way of
encouragement said:
"You do look nice, Lupin." Lupin replied: "Yes, it's a good make-
up, isn't it? A regular-downright-respectable-funereal-first-
class-City-firm-junior-clerk." He laughed rather ironically.
In the hall I heard a great noise, and also Lupin shouting to Sarah
to fetch down his old hat. I went into the passage, and found
Lupin in a fury, kicking and smashing a new tall hat. I said:
"Lupin, my boy, what are you doing? How
wicked of you! Some poor
fellow would be glad to have it." Lupin replied: "I would not
insult any poor fellow by giving it to him."
When he had gone outside, I picked up the battered hat, and saw
inside "Posh's Patent." Poor Lupin! I can
forgive him. It seemed
hours before we reached the office. Mr. Perkupp sent for Lupin,
who was with him nearly an hour. He returned, as I thought,
crestfallen in appearance. I said: "Well, Lupin, how about Mr.
Perkupp?" Lupin commenced his song: "What's the matter with
Perkupp? He's all right!" I felt
instinctively my boy was
engaged. I went to Mr. Perkupp, but I could not speak. He said:
"Well, Mr. Pooter, what is it?" I must have looked a fool, for all
I could say was: "Mr. Perkupp, you are a good man." He looked at
me for a moment, and said: "No, Mr. Pooter, YOU are the good man;
and we'll see if we cannot get your son to follow such an excellent