Where Do You Have Trouble?

Schoolboy: Excuse me, Miss, I'm calling just to tell you I can't go to school today.

Teacher: Why? What's wrong?

Schoolboy: I don't feel well.

Teacher: Where do you feel trouble?

Schoolboy: In the classroom.

　

Love

Father: My son, I punish you because I love you.

Son: I know, Dad, but I shouldn't get so much love.

　

Letters From Sons

Two men in the college were talking about their sons. "My son's letters always send me to the dictionary," said one man.

"Then you are quite lucky," said the other. "My son's letters always send me to the bank."

　

A "Hero"

Journalist: Why did you jump into the river to save that boy?

Hero: I had to do so, because he was wearing my coat.

　

I Thought It Was Mine

Husband: Oh, dear! Someone stole my wallet.

Wife: What? Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket?

Husband: Yes, but... but I thought it was mine.

　

A Real Man

Mr. Smith: Oh, God! I left my wallet under the pillow. What shall I do?

His friend: Don't worry. Your maid is an honest woman, isn't she?

Mr. Smith: Yes, But she will give it to my wife.

　

The Name

The doctor said to the nurse, "Go and ask the patient what his name is, so that we can inform his parents."

After a while, the nurse came back and said, "the patient said that his parents know his name."

　

A Silly Husband

One morning Mrs. Perry said to her husband, "Jack, there's a meeting of our ladies' club at Mrs. Young's House at lunch time today, and I want to go to it. I'll leave you some food for your lunch. Is that all right?"

"Oh, yes," her husband answered, "that's quite all right. What are you going to leave for my lunch?"

"This tin of fish," Mrs. Perry said," And there are some cold boiled potatoes and some beans here, too."

"Good." Then Mrs. Perry went to her meeting. All the ladies had lunch at Mrs. Young's house, and at three o' clock Mrs. Perry came home.

"Was your fish nice, Jack?" she asked.

"Yes, but my feet are hurting," he answered.

"Why are they hurting?" Mrs. Perry asked.

"Well, on the tin it was written-OPEN THE TIN AND STAND IN HOT WATER FOR FIVE MINUTES."

　

Let me Have It

A little boy went to the dentist as he had a terrible toothache, The dentist checked his teeth and decided to pull the bad tooth out When the operation was over, the boy asked the doctor to let him have that tooth.

"What do you want it for?" the dentist was surprised. "I am going to take it home, fill it with sugar and watch it ache." The boy said with all sincerity.
关键字:笑话幽默
生词表: