CHAPTER IX
linor, for some time after he left her, for some time even
after the sound of his carriage had died away, remained
too much oppressed by a crowd of ideas, widely differing
in themselves, but of which
sadness was the general result, to
think even of her sister.
Willoughby, he, whom only half an hour ago she had abhorred
as the most
worthless of men, Willoughby, in spite of all his faults,
excited a degree of commiseration for the sufferings produced by
them, which made her think of him as now separated for ever from
her family, with a
tenderness, a regret, rather in proportion, as she
soon acknowledged within herself―to his wishes than to his
merits. She felt that his influence over her mind was heightened
by circumstances which ought not in reason to have weight; by
that person of
uncommonattraction, that open,
affectionate, and
lively manner which it was no merit to possess; and by that still
ardent love for Marianne, which it was not even innocent to
indulge. But she felt that it was so, long, long before she could feel
his influence less.
When at last she returned to the
unconscious Marianne, she
found her just awaking, refreshed by so long and sweet a sleep to
the extent of her hopes. Elinor's heart was full. The past, the
present, the future, Willoughby's visit, Marianne's safety, and her
mother's expected arrival, threw her altogether into an
agitation of
spirits which kept off every indication of
fatigue, and made her
only fearful of betraying herself to her sister. Short was the time,
however, in which that fear could affect her, for within half an
hour after Willoughby's leaving the house, she was again called
down stairs by the sound of another carriage.―Eager to save her
mother from every unnecessary moment's horrible
suspense, she
ran immediately into the hall, and reached the
outward door just
in time to receive and support her as she entered it.
Mrs. Dashwood, whose terror as they drew near the house had
produced almost the conviction of Marianne's being no more, had
no voice to inquire after her, no voice even for Elinor; but she,
waiting neither for
salutation nor inquiry, instantly gave the
joyfulrelief;―and her mother, catching it with all her usual warmth, was
in a moment as much overcome by her happiness, as she had been
before by her fears. She was supported into the drawing-room
between her daughter and her friend;―and there, shedding tears
of joy, though still unable to speak, embraced Elinor again and
again, turning from her at intervals to press Colonel Brandon's
hand, with a look which spoke at once her gratitude, and her
conviction of his sharing with herself in the bliss of the moment.
He shared it, however, in a silence even greater than her own.
As soon as Mrs. Dashwood had recovered herself, to see
Marianne was her first desire; and in two minutes she was with
her beloved child, rendered dearer to her than ever by absence,
unhappiness, and danger. Elinor's delight, as she saw what each
felt in the meeting, was only checked by an
apprehension of its
robbing Marianne of farther sleep;―but Mrs. Dashwood could be
calm, could be even
prudent, when the life of a child was at stake,
and Marianne, satisfied in knowing her mother was near her, and
conscious of being too weak for conversation, submitted readily to
the silence and quiet prescribed by every nurse around her. Mrs.
Dashwood would sit up with her all night; and Elinor, in
compliance with her mother's
entreaty, went to bed. But the rest,
which one night entirely
sleepless, and many hours of the most
wearing anxiety seemed to make
requisite, was kept off by
irritation of spirits. Willoughby, "poor Willoughby," as she now
allowed herself to call him, was constantly in her thoughts; she
would not but have heard his vindication for the world, and now
blamed, now acquitted herself for having judged him so
harshlybefore. But her promise of relating it to her sister was
invariablypainful. She dreaded the performance of it, dreaded what its effect
on Marianne might be; doubted whether after such an explanation
she could ever be happy with another; and for a moment wished
Willoughby a widower. Then, remembering Colonel Brandon,
reproved herself, felt that to his sufferings and his
constancy far
more than to his rival's, the reward of her sister was due, and
wished any thing rather than Mrs. Willoughby's death.
The shock of Colonel Brandon's errand at Barton had been
much softened to Mrs. Dashwood by her own previous alarm; for
so great was her
uneasiness about Marianne, that she had already
determined to set out for Cleveland on that very day, without
waiting for any further intelligence, and had so far settled her
journey before his arrival, that the Careys were then expected
every moment to fetch Margaret away, as her mother was
unwilling to take her where there might be
infection.
Marianne continued to mend every day, and the brilliant
cheerfulness of Mrs. Dashwood's looks and spirits proved her to
be, as she
repeatedly" title="ad.反复地;再三地">
repeatedly declared herself, one of the happiest women
in the world. Elinor could not hear the
declaration, nor witness its
proofs without sometimes wondering whether her mother ever
recollected Edward. But Mrs. Dashwood,
trusting to the
temperateaccount of her own disappointment which Elinor had sent her,
was led away by the exuberance of her joy to think only of what
would increase it. Marianne was restored to her from a danger in
which, as she now began to feel, her own
mistaken judgment in
encouraging the unfortunate
attachment to Willoughby, had
contributed to place her;―and in her
recovery she had yet another
source of joy unthought of by Elinor. It was thus imparted to her,
as soon as any opportunity of private conference between them
occurred.
"At last we are alone. My Elinor, you do not yet know all my
happiness. Colonel Brandon loves Marianne. He has told me so
himself."
Her daughter, feeling by turns both pleased and pained,
surprised and not surprised, was all silent attention.
"You are never like me, dear Elinor, or I should wonder at your
composure now. Had I sat down to wish for any possible good to
my family, I should have fixed on Colonel Brandon's marrying one
of you as the object most desirable. And I believe Marianne will be
the most happy with him of the two."
Elinor was half inclined to ask her reason for thinking so,
because satisfied that none founded on an
impartial consideration
of their age, characters, or feelings, could be given;―but her
mother must always be carried away by her imagination on any
interesting subject, and therefore instead of an inquiry, she passed
it off with a smile.
"He opened his whole heart to me yesterday as we travelled. It
came out quite unawares, quite undesignedly. I, you may well
believe, could talk of nothing but my child;―he could not conceal
his distress; I saw that it equalled my own, and he perhaps,
thinking that mere friendship, as the world now goes, would not
justify so warm a sympathy―or rather, not thinking at all, I
suppose―giving way to
irresistible feelings, made me acquainted
with his earnest, tender, constant, affection for Marianne. He has
loved her, my Elinor, ever since the first moment of
seeing her."
Here, however, Elinor perceived,―not the language, not the
professions of Colonel Brandon, but the natural embellishments of
her mother's active fancy, which fashioned every thing delightful
to her, as it chose.
"His regard for her,
infinitely surpassing anything that
Willoughby ever felt or feigned, as much more warm, as more
sincere or constant―which ever we are to call it―has subsisted
through all the knowledge of dear Marianne's unhappy
prepossession for that
worthless young man!―and without
selfishness―without encouraging a hope!―could he have seen her
happy with another―Such a noble mind!―such openness, such
sincerity!―no one can be deceived in him."
"Colonel Brandon's character," said Elinor, "as an excellent
man, is well established."
"I know it is"―replied her mother seriously, "or after such a
warning, I should be the last to encourage such affection, or even
to be pleased by it. But his coming for me as he did, with such
active, such ready friendship, is enough to prove him one of the
worthiest of men."
"His character, however," answered Elinor, "does not rest on
one act of kindness, to which his affection for Marianne, were
humanity out of the case, would have prompted him. To Mrs.
Jennings, to the Middletons, he has been long and
intimatelyknown; they equally love and respect him; and even my own
knowledge of him, though lately acquired, is very considerable;
and so highly do I value and
esteem him, that if Marianne can be
happy with him, I shall be as ready as yourself to think our
connection the greatest blessing to us in the world. What answer
did you give him?―Did you allow him to hope?"
"Oh! my love, I could not then talk of hope to him or to myself.
Marianne might at that moment be dying. But he did not ask for
hope or
encouragement. His was an
involuntary confidence, an
irrepressible effusion to a soothing friend―not an application to a
parent. Yet after a time I did say, for at first I was quite
overcome―that if she lived, as I trusted she might, my greatest
happiness would lie in promoting their marriage; and since our
arrival, since our delightful security, I have
repeated it to him
more fully, have given him every
encouragement in my power.
Time, a very little time, I tell him, will do everything;―Marianne's
heart is not to be wasted for ever on such a man as Willoughby.―
His own merits must soon secure it."
"To judge from the Colonel's spirits, however, you have not yet
made him equally sanguine."
"No.―He thinks Marianne's affection too deeply rooted for any
change in it under a great length of time, and even supposing her
heart again free, is too diffident of himself to believe, that with
such a difference of age and disposition he could ever attach her.
There, however, he is quite
mistaken. His age is only so much
beyond hers as to be an advantage, as to make his character and
principles fixed;―and his disposition, I am well convinced, is
exactly the very one to make your sister happy. And his person,
his manners too, are all in his favour. My partiality does not blind
me; he certainly is not so handsome as Willoughby―but at the
same time, there is something much more
pleasing in his
countenance.―There was always a something,―if you
remember,―in Willoughby's eyes at times, which I did not like."
Elinor could not remember it;―but her mother, without waiting
for her
assent, continued,
"And his manners, the Colonel's manners are not only more
pleasing to me than Willoughby's ever were, but they are of a kind
I well know to be more solidly attaching to Marianne. Their
gentleness, their
genuine attention to other people, and their
manly unstudied
simplicity is much more accordant with her real
disposition, than the liveliness―often artificial, and often ill-timed
of the other. I am very sure myself, that had Willoughby turned
out as really
amiable, as he has proved himself the contrary,
Marianne would yet never have been so happy with him, as she
will be with Colonel Brandon."
She paused.―Her daughter could not quite agree with her, but her
dissent was not heard, and therefore gave no offence.
"At Delaford, she will be within an easy distance of me," added
Mrs. Dashwood, "even if I remain at Barton; and in all
probability,―for I hear it is a large village,―indeed there certainly
must be some small house or cottage close by, that would suit us
quite as well as our present situation."
Poor Elinor!―here was a new scheme for getting her to
Delaford!―but her spirit was
stubborn.
"His fortune too!―for at my time of life you know, everybody
cares about that;―and though I neither know nor desire to know,
what it really is, I am sure it must be a good one."
Here they were interrupted by the entrance of a third person,
and Elinor
withdrew to think it all over in private, to wish success
to her friend, and yet in wishing it, to feel a pang for Willoughby.
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