担心自己表示不同意见会被别人认为是好斗？其实是你担心过头了。只要你是礼貌的方式，就不必要担心这个。要记住，人们是以你一贯的处事之道来解读你的，而不是仅凭一次不同意见。



3: Because I am nervous about appearing aggressive I may be too passive in my interactions.



因为我担心自己会表现出"好斗"，所以在交往中，我可能会过于被动



Addresses the fear of being seen as aggressive



如何克服对被视作"好斗"的恐惧



In my research I've found that many people who lack assertiveness are afraid of being seen as aggressive or arrogant. They overcompensate and end up on the passive end of the spectrum. We want you to be assertive, which is in the middle and is very different from being aggressive. 在我的研究中，我发现许多缺乏主张力的人都是因为害怕被人们认为"好斗"或"高傲"。为了避免让自己表现得如此，结果他们走向了另一个极端。我们想让你具有主张力，这是中性的，和"好斗"非常地不同。



Remember that the majority of the impact of communication is how you say it not what you say. If you project a calm and friendly demeanor it is unlikely that you will be seen as aggressive. Remember also that people interpret you in relation to the image they already have of you. If you are typically friendly and thoughtful people will interpret your behaviors in line with this view. 记住沟通的主要影响力在于说话方式而不是内容。如果你的举止镇定、友好，那么就不可能被视为"好斗"。 还要记住，人们是通过他们对你已有的形象来解读你。如果你通常都是一个友好、处事周道的人，那么人们会用和这一观念一致的方式来解释你的行为。



You can assertively make requests and deliver negative feedback, without being aggressive. When you're aggressive you disrespect others' communication by interrupting, demeaning, or criticizing them. When you are assertive you give your opinion and make your request in a way that everyone benefits. 你可以果断地提出请求、给出消极的反馈，而不表现得"好斗"。在"好斗"时，你会去打断对话、贬低或批评对方，表现得不尊重对方；在你表现主张时，你表达的是你的观点，提出的是人人都受益的请求。（to be continued）
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