"Thou liest, O calamity! If I be indeed the Commander of the Faithful,
bite my finger." So she came to him and bit it with all her might, and
he said to her, "It doth suffice." Then he asked the chief
eunuch,
"Who am I?" and he answered, "Thou art the Commander of the Faithful."
So he left him and returned to his wonderment. Then, turning to a
little white slave, said to him, "Bite my ear," and he bent his head
low down to him and put his ear to his mouth. Now the Mameluke was
young and lacked sense, so he closed his teeth upon Abu al-Hasan's ear
with all his might, till he came near to sever it. And he knew not
Arabic, so as often as the wag said to him, "It doth suffice," he
concluded that he said, "Bite like a vice," and redoubled his bite and
made his teeth meet in the ear,
whilst the damsels were diverted
from him with hearkening to the singing girls, and Abu al-Hasan
cried out for
succor from the boy and the Caliph lost his senses for
laughter.
Then he dealt the boy a cuff, and he let go his ear,
whereupon all
present fell down with
laughter and said to the little Mameluke,
"Art mad that thou bitest the Caliph's ear on this wise?" And Abu
al-Hasan cried to them: "Sufficeth ye not, O ye
wretched Jinns, that
which hath
befallen me? But the fault is not yours. The fault is of
your chief, who transmewed you from Jinn shape to
mortal shape. I seek
refuge against you this night by the Throne Verse and the Chapter of
Sincerity and the Two Preventives!" So
saying, the wag put off his
clothes till he was naked, with prickle and breech exposed, and danced
among the slave girls. They bound his hands and he wantoned among
them, while they died of laughing at him and the Caliph swooned away
for
excess of
laughter.
Then he came to himself, and going forth the curtain to Abu
al-Hasan, said to him: "Out on thee, O Abu al-Hasan! Thou slayest me
with
laughter." So he turned to him, and
knowing him, said to him, "By
Allah, 'tis thou slayest me and slayest my mother and slewest the
Sheikhs and the imam of the mosque!" After which he kissed ground
before him and prayed for the permanence of his
prosperity and the
endurance of his days. The Caliph at once robed him in a rich robe and
gave him a thousand dinars, and
presently he took the wag into
especial favor and married him and bestowed largess on him and
lodged him with himself in the palace and made him of the chief of his
cup
companions, and indeed he was preferred with him above them, and
the Caliph
advanced him over them all, so that he sat with him and the
Lady Zubaydah bint al-Kasim, whose treasuress, Nuzhat al-Fuad hight,
was given to him in marriage.
After this Abu al-Hasan the wag abode with his wife in eating and
drinking and all delight of life, till whatso was with them went the
way of money, when he said to her, "Harkye, O Nuzhat al-Fuad!" Said
she, "At thy service," and he continued, "I have it in mind to play
a trick on the Caliph, and thou shalt do the like with the Lady
Zubaydah, and we will take of them at once, to begin with, two hundred
dinars and two pieces of silk." She rejoined, "As thou willest, but
what thinkest thou to do?" And he said: "We will feign ourselves dead,
and this is the trick. I will die before thee and lay myself out,
and do thou spread over me a
silkennapkin and loose my
turban over me
and tie my toes and lay on my
stomach a knife and a little salt.
Then let down thy hair and betake thyself to thy
mistress Zubaydah,
tearing thy dress and slapping thy face and crying out. She will ask
thee, 'What aileth thee?' and do thou answer her, 'May thy head
outlive Abu al-Hasan the wag, for he is dead.' She will mourn for me
and weep and bid her new treasuress give thee a hundred dinars and a
piece of silk and will say to thee, 'Go, lay him out and carry him
forth.' So do thou take of her the hundred dinars and the piece of
silk and come back, and when thou returnest to me, I will rise up
and thou shalt lie down in my place, and I will go to the Caliph and
say to him, 'May thy head outlive Nuzhat al-Fuad,' and rend my raiment
and pluck out my beard. He will mourn for thee and say to his
treasurer, 'Give Abu al-Hasan a hundred dinars and a piece of silk.'
Then he will say to me, 'Go, lay her out and carry her forth,' and I
will come back to thee."
Therewith Nuzhat al-Fuad rejoiced and said, "Indeed, this is an
excellent device." Then Abu al-Hasan stretched himself out
forthright and she shut his eyes and tied his feet and covered him
with the
napkin and did whatso her lord had bidden her. After which
she tare her gear and bared her head and letting down her hair, went
in to the Lady Zubaydah, crying out and
weeping. When the Princess saw
her in this state, she cried: "What
plight is this? What is thy story,
and what maketh thee weep?" And Nuzhatal-Fuad answered,
weeping and