countess sitting by the window with her
handkerchief to her face. She
heard my step and made me an
imperiousgesture, commanding me to leave
her. I went up to her, my heart stabbed with fear, and tried to take
her
handkerchief away by force. Her face was bathed in tears and she
fled into her room, which she did not leave again until the hour for
evening prayer. When that was over, I led her to the
terrace and asked
the cause of her
emotion; she
affected a wild
gaiety and explained it
by the news Monsieur Origet had given her.
"Henriette, Henriette, you knew that news when I saw you weeping.
Between you and me a lie is
monstrous. Why did you
forbid me to dry
your tears? were they mine?"
"I was thinking," she said, "that for me this
illness has been a halt
in pain. Now that I no longer fear for Monsieur de Mortsauf I fear for
myself."
She was right. The count's
recovery was soon attested by the return of
his
fantastic humor. He began by
saying that neither the
countess, nor
I, nor the doctor had known how to take care of him; we were ignorant
of his
constitution and also of his disease; we misunderstood his
sufferings and the necessary remedies. Origet, infatuated with his own
doctrines, had
mistaken the case, he ought to have attended only to
the pylorus. One day he looked at us maliciously, with an air of
having guessed our thoughts, and said to his wife with a smile, "Now,
my dear, if I had died you would have regretted me, no doubt, but pray
admit you would have been quite resigned."
"Yes, I should have mourned you in pink and black, court mourning,"
she answered laughing, to change the tone of his remarks.
But it was
chiefly about his food, which the doctor insisted on
regulating, that scenes of
violence and wrangling now took place,
unlike any that had
hitherto occurred; for the
character of the count
was all the more
violent for having slumbered. The
countess, fortified
by the doctor's orders and the
obedience of her servants, stimulated
too by me, who thought this struggle a good means to teach her to
exercise authority over the count, held out against his
violence. She
showed a calm front to his demented cries, and even grew accustomed to
his insulting epithets,
taking him for what he was, a child. I had the
happiness of at last
seeing her take the reins in hand and
govern that
unsound mind. The count cried out, but he obeyed; and he obeyed all
the better when he had made an
outcry. But in spite of the evidence of
good results, Henriette often wept at the
spectacle of this emaciated,
feeble old man, with a
forehead yellower than the falling leaves, his
eyes wan, his hands trembling. She blamed herself for too much
severity, and could not
resist the joy she saw in his eyes when, in
measuring out his food, she gave him more than the doctor allowed. She
was even more gentle and
gracious to him than she had been to me; but
there were differences here which filled my heart with joy. She was
not unwearying, and she sometimes called her servants to wait upon the
count when his caprices changed too rapidly, and he complained of not
being understood.
The
countess wished to return thanks to God for the count's
recovery;
she directed a mass to be said, and asked if I would take her to
church. I did so, but I left her at the door, and went to see Monsieur
and Madame Chessel. On my return she reproached me.
"Henriette," I said, "I cannot be false. I will throw myself into the
water to save my enemy from drowning, and give him my coat to keep him
warm; I will
forgive him, but I cannot forget the wrong."
She was silent, but she pressed my arm.
"You are an angel, and you were
sincere in your thanksgiving," I said,
continuing. "The mother of the Prince of the Peace was saved from the
hands of an angry
populace who sought to kill her, and when the queen
asked, 'What did you do?' she answered, 'I prayed for them.' Women are
ever thus. I am a man, and
necessarily imperfect."
"Don't calumniate yourself," she said, shaking my arm, "perhaps you
are more
worthy than I."