idea of it. I have been in England myself.--I will give him wit enough
for a couple of thousand," he added in an aside to Blondet.
"In England, Finot, you grow
extremelyintimate with a woman in the
course of an evening, at a ball or
wherever it is; next day you meet
her in the street and look as though you knew her again--'improper.'--
At dinner you discover a
delightful man beneath your left-hand
neighbor's dresscoat; a clever man; no high mightiness, no constraint,
nothing of an Englishman about him. In
accordance with the tradition
of French
breeding, so urbane, so
gracious as they are, you address
your neighbor--'improper.'--At a ball you walk up to a pretty woman to
ask her to dance--'improper.' You wax
enthusiastic, you argue, laugh,
and give yourself out, you fling yourself heart and soul into the
conversation, you give expression to your real feelings, you play when
you are at the card-table, chat while you chat, eat while you eat--
'improper! improper! improper!' Stendhal, one of the cleverest and
profoundest minds of the age, hit off the 'improper' excellently well
when he said that such-and-such a British peer did not dare to cross
his legs when he sat alone before his own
hearth for fear of being
improper. An English
gentlewoman, were she one of the rabid 'Saints'--
that most straitest sect of Protestants that would leave their whole
family to
starve if the said family did anything 'improper'--may play
the deuce's own delight in her own bedroom, and need not be
'improper,' but she would look on herself as lost if she received a
visit from a man of her
acquaintance in the aforesaid room. Thanks to
propriety, London and its inhabitants will be found petrified some of
these days."
"And to think that there are asses here in France that want to import
the
solemntomfoolery that the English keep up among themselves with
that
admirable self-possession which you know!" added Blondet. "It is
enough to make any man
shudder if he has seen the English at home, and
recollects the
charming,
gracious French manners. Sir Walter Scott was
afraid to paint women as they are for fear of being 'improper'; and at
the close of his life repented of the
creation of the great character
of Effie in The Heart of Midlothian."
"Do you wish not to be 'improper' in England?" asked Bixiou,
addressing Finot.
"Well?"
"Go to the Tuileries and look at a figure there, something like a
fireman carved in
marble ('Themistocles,' the statuary calls it), try
to walk like the Commandant's
statue, and you will never be
'improper.' It was through
strictobservance of the great law of the
IMproper that Godefroid's happiness became complete. There is the
story:
"Beaudenord had a tiger, not a 'groom,' as they write that know
nothing of society. The tiger, a
diminutive Irish page called Paddy,
Toby, Joby (which you please), was three feet in
height by twenty
inches in
breadth, a weasel-faced
infant, with nerves of steel
tempered in fire-water, and agile as a
squirrel. He drove a landau
with a skill never yet at fault in London or Paris. He had a lizard's
eye, as sharp as my own, and he could mount a horse like the elder
Franconi. With the rosy cheeks and yellow hair of one of Rubens'
Madonnas he was double-faced as a
prince, and as
knowing as an old
attorney; in short, at the age of ten he was nothing more nor less
than a
blossom of depravity, gambling and swearing,
partial to jam and
punch, pert as a feuilleton, impudent and light-fingered as any Paris
street-arab. He had been a source of honor and profit to a well-known
English lord, for whom he had already won seven hundred thousand
francs on the race-course. The aforesaid
nobleman set no small store
on Toby. His tiger was a
curiosity, the very smallest tiger in town.
Perched aloft on the back of a thoroughbred, Joby looked like a hawk.
Yet--the great man dismissed him. Not for greediness, not for
dishonesty, nor murder, nor rudeness to my lady, nor for cutting holes
in my lady's own woman's pockets, nor because he had been 'got at' by
some of his master's rivals on the turf, nor for playing games of a
Sunday, nor for bad
behavior of any sort or
description. Toby might
have done all these things, he might even have
spoken to milord before