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The Atheist's Mass-Part3_Honore de Balzac(1799-1850)_Translated Works(翻译文学)-第2页

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his dignity, for he seemed to understand that the end ennobles



every act.

"When I left this good fellow, to be house surgeon at the Hotel-



Dieu, I felt an indescribable, dull pain, knowing that he could

no longer live with me; but he comforted himself with the



prospect of saving up money enough for me to take my degree, and

he made me promise to go to see him whenever I had a day out:



Bourgeat was proud of me. He loved me for my own sake, and for

his own. If you look up my thesis, you will see that I dedicated



it to him.

"During the last year of my residence as house surgeon I earned



enough to repay all I owed to this worthy Auvergnat by buying him

a barrel and a horse. He was furious with rage at learning that I



had been depriving myself of spending my money, and yet he was

delighted to see his wishes fulfilled; he laughed and scolded, he



looked at his barrel, at his horse, and wiped away a tear, as he

said, 'It is too bad. What a splendid barrel! You really ought



not. Why, that horse is as strong as an Auvergnat!'

"I never saw a more touching scene. Bourgeat insisted on buying



for me the case of instruments mounted in silver which you have

seen in my room, and which is to me the most precious thing



there. Though enchanted with my first success, never did the

least sign, the least word, escape him which might imply, 'This



man owes all to me!' And yet, but for him, I should have died of

want; he had eaten bread rubbed with garlic that I might have



coffee to enable me to sit up at night.

"He fell ill. As you may suppose, I passed my nights by his



bedside, and the first time I pulled him through; but two years

after he had a relapse; in spite of the utmost care, in spite of



the greatest exertions of science, he succumbed. No king was ever

nursed as he was. Yes, Bianchon, to snatch that man from death I



tried unheard-of things. I wanted him to live long enough to show

him his work accomplished, to realize all his hopes, to give



expression to the only need for gratitude that ever filled my

heart, to quench a fire that burns in me to this day.



"Bourgeat, my second father, died in my arms," Desplein went on,

after a pause, visibly moved. "He left me everything he possessed



by a will he had had made by a public scrivener, dating from the

year when we had gone to live in the Cour de Rohan.



"This man's faith was perfect; he loved the Holy Virgin as he

might have loved his wife. He was an ardent Catholic, but never



said a word to me about my want of religion. When he was dying he

entreated me to spare no expense that he might have every



possible benefit of clergy. I had a mass said for him every day.

Often, in the night, he would tell me of his fears as to his



future fate; he feared his life had not been saintly enough. Poor

man! he was at work from morning till night. For whom, then, is



Paradise--if there be a Paradise? He received the last sacrament

like the saint that he was, and his death was worthy of his life.



"I alone followed him to the grave. When I had laid my only

benefactor to rest, I looked about to see how I could pay my debt



to him; I found he had neither family nor friends, neither wife

nor child. But he believed. He had a religious conviction; had I



any right to dispute it? He had spoken to me timidly of masses

said for the repose of the dead; he would not impress it on me as



a duty, thinking that it would be a form of repayment for his

services. As soon as I had money enough I paid to Saint-Sulpice



the requisite sum for four masses every year. As the only thing I

can do for Bourgeat is thus to satisfy his pious wishes, on the



days when that mass is said, at the beginning of each season of

the year, I go for his sake and say the required prayers; and I



say with the good faith of a sceptic--'Great God, if there is a

sphere which Thou hast appointed after death for those who have



been perfect, remember good Bourgeat; and if he should have

anything to suffer, let me suffer it for him, that he may enter






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